Smacking Children

[14NG88]

Before I start by smacking I obviously mean a light smack on hand or bottom not anything that will cause any real pain.

Inlaws have horrendously behaved 2 and 4 year olds who've caused carnage whilst staying at ours all weekend. Inlaws have been using "the naughty step" which predictably (to me anyway) had no effect. I always raised ours with 3 strikes 1. a firm warning 2. shouting 3. a smack.

Inlaws were shocked when I told them this . I'm sure this was fairly normal when I was a child have attitudes changed ?

Yes, attitudes have changed. Brace yourself, OP. This could get rough.

Yes, attitudes have changed. By shouting and smacking children you're basically teaching them that it's ok to shout and smack. Which it's not, is it? Would you shout at and smack an adult?

Is this a troll?

I am amazed anyone needs to ask that question in 2019.

If you always had to use the 3 strike rule then it obviously wasn't teaching them to behave was it?

I wouldn't shout or smack an adult so why on earth would I do it to a child. It obviously didn't work anyway or you wouldn't have had to use it more than once.

I'm with your inlaws, smacking horrifies me. Children should be protected not hurt.

Awk fuck off. You know it isn't acceptable to hit a child. Obviously you know attitudes have changed. Pointless thread.

Only stupid people try to correct bad behaviour with violence (thats you op)

if it doesn't cause any real pain then what exactly is the point of it? Why is it such a great deterrent? Of course you hurt your children when you smacked them- that was the point.

Your in laws have preschool children?

Of course they’ve changed. Hitting children isn’t an effective form of discipline. I do think though that the vast majority of my generation were smacked and aren’t actually traumatised by it. The way some people go on about it you’d think we were. I remember being far more upset about being sent to my room.

I think future generations will look at legal smacking of children the same way as we look back at laws from the past that allowed husbands to hit their wives. I’m not necessarily judging people who have smacked their kids, because it was very much the done thing, but now we know better we do better, and I think (hope) that it will die out.

I have horrible memories of being smacked (hard) by my dad when he’d lost his temper. I would never smack my children. Times have moved on - there are much better ways of parenting than smacking.

Both smacking and naughty step are shitty IMO.

If smacking actually worked then you wouldn’t have had to have three strikes because they never would have acted beyond the initial warning. Unfortunately punishment is not an effective method of changing behaviour. Multitudes of studies have shown that the absolute limit of what punishment can achieve is controlling a behaviour (giving people/animals cause to hide/repress the behaviour in the presence of their punisher as opposed to eradicating the impulse or making them want to resist the impulse for their own sake). The only way to effectively discipline children is to program super ego by rationalisations and morals and the id through positive reinforcement of good behaviours. It’s hard and takes years to work. But using harsh punishments only make the process more convoluted.

Can I smack you?

I don’t know, when were you raising young children? I didn’t think smacking had been acceptable for quite some time.

I always raised ours with 3 strikes 1. a firm warning 2. shouting 3. a smack.

You are an abusive twat.

HTH

Smacking is for people who lack the intelligence to actually parent.

It’s has its place but should be a rarity rather than the norm.

Smacking is not OK.

We all lose our temper and shout sometimes but it's not the best way to deal with undesirable behaviour. I think children need boundaries, clear expectations, reminders of these and consequences eg losing a treat if they misbehave.

Has to be a troll right. No one actually asks this anymore.

Morgan12

Awk fuck off. You know it isn't acceptable to hit a child. Obviously you know attitudes have changed. Pointless thread.

A brilliant summary

When I was young smacking was common place. I dont remember any of my friends being rude or disrespectful to their parents and "no way, me mum'll go mental!" Was a regular response to any suggestions of silly fuckery. Now smacking is unheard of and I regularly hear kids as young as 7 or 8 telling their parents to fuck off or in one instance 'fucking make me stop. Useless cunt" from a boy who couldn't have been older than 12. I'd have been knocked into next week for speaking to anyone like that.

A lot of kids now would benefit greatly from a slapped arse.

@thesnapandfartisinfallible

Smacking was common when I was young too.

You also heard kids from dysfunctional families acting like you describe. Kids speak like their parents generally.

My son has never been smacked, ever. People comment on how polite he is.