Struggling with friends change of mind over baby

[Millie2018]

My friend and her DH didn’t want children. They were adamant. Not only this but were very vocal about everyone who had children, including myself. Comments to their face about why would anyone want children, they suck you dry, they are horrible etc etc. This was for over 10 yrs. Anyway, a couple of years ago they decide they have changed their minds. 6 months later they are expecting.
Subsequently they have done everything they criticised everyone else for. Spent the whole pregnancy complaining about how horrible being pregnant is, how boring their nct class is, why do they need so much baby stuff - the list is endless.
Since the birth they have been ok parents. Doing the bare minimum to be honest. Lots of ‘letting the baby cry it out’, lots of baby led weaning because making purées is a faff. Lots of can’t wait to go back to work comments. Fair enough. However I have a just received an invitation to the child’s christening (with gift list). I just can’t stomach going for the day and watching them act as if this child is the most precious gift, when really their words and actions say something else.
Should I decline the invite? Should I go and plaster on a smile, it’s one day after all. I just feel as hypocritical as them going.

*I'm not sure how others are making purees but I'm confused as to how making a simple puree then freezing once a week is a "faff".

Clearly people who never cook.*

Wrong. I’m actually a very good cook.

Do you want to eat the same thing every day for a week? No? Well why would a baby?

I would be irritated by their previous criticisms of people who have children (although it would depend whether it was said meanly or as a joke). I wouldn’t be at all annoyed about them changing their minds about having children, lots of people do. Perhaps they have seen how happy you and other friends are with your families and wanted it for themselves. I also don’t think their parenting choices make them just ‘okay’ parents and I think it’s a little mean for you to judge them, there is no right or wrong way to look after a baby, we are all just struggling through trying to do our best really aren’t we.

Purées are a massive 'faff' in comparison to just passing the baby the same food you're eating...

Do you want to eat the same thing every day for a week? No? Well why would a baby?

Why does making purees mean the baby has to eat the same thing every day for a week? You only have to make one batch a week to keep the supply topped up but you have multiple meals in the freezer.

And I do eat the same thing for lunch and breakfast everyday.

And I do eat the same thing for lunch and breakfast everyday

I don’t.

Making purées obviously isn’t the most onerous thing in the world, but it’s more of a faff for me than just giving them some of what the rest of us are eating. And spoon feeding is more of a faff than letting them feed themselves (IMO)

Why does making purees mean the baby has to eat the same thing every day for a week? You only have to make one batch a week to keep the supply topped up but you have multiple meals in the freezer

Or, you just feed them what everyone else is eating

a christening gift list when did that become a thing?
I would decline.

I could NOT be doing with spoon feeding. Mine both held their own food and dealt with a spoon from the moment they could. Both are well grown and fine.

Spent the whole pregnancy complaining about how horrible being pregnant is, how boring their nct class is, why do they need so much baby stuff - the list is endless.
Since the birth they have been ok parents. Doing the bare minimum to be honest. Lots of ‘letting the baby cry it out’, lots of baby led weaning because making purées is a faff.

None of this suggests they are bad parents. They are meeting their child’s needs, even if you wouldn’t make the same choices as them.

Plenty of women find pregnancy difficult, look forward to going to work and find the amount of stuff you need for something very small utterly ridiculous. It’s just taboo to say it. It would help if more people admitted to it so those who feel like this don’t feel like they’re somehow doing things wrong.

What this boils down to is you don’t like these people. Just stay away from them,

Just because they don’t meet your parenting standards doesn’t mean they are bad pwople.

Maybe don’t go, unless you feel the need to really martyr yourself with a day of judging them and doing a cat’s bum mouth while muttering about how you’d have done things differently.

Also, just let go of the friendship if you don’t like them and their choices. Better that than being the fake friend who judges behind their back.

They do sound unpleasant but that's the picture the OP wants to paint, they could well be lovely. Op has shown us how bitchy she can be though.