Hen Weekend

[BearRabbitPants]

What are people's opinions on hen weekends abroad? What's classed as 'reasonable' regarding cost and duration? And what's classed as an acceptable reason not to attend? Thoughts appreciated!

Unless you go on holiday every year or so with your girl friends I think it puts pressure on people to attend and pay the expense of a holiday they don’t really want and to give up their time off work or away from their family.

I can’t see why am evening out in your home town or nearest city won’t suffice.

I'm having a Saturday hen afternoon and evening as I don't want to use annual leave even for my own hen do Mine is costing about £50 pp.

Seriously I think it all depends on what jobs your friends do / if they have children / living situation / location. I don't expect my friends to spend their precious leave and ££££ celebrating my life choices. Anything over £100 just isn't for me. I hate staying in hotels with uncomfortable beds / noisy pipes / windows that don't open and work on the basis that a quality day together is better than a weekend where we're all wincing internally about the cost.

I think they are a massive imposition and most people pretend to be delighted about them.

Ok, what are people's opinions on £350 plus spending money plus 4 nights/5days away 😳...(which would include using 3 days annual leave & leaving 2 children under age 4 at home with DH- we have no family help with childcare. DH is self employed so rarely takes time off work unless absolutely essential ie. family holiday)
Would you attend under these circumstances... ??

Will be attending the wedding which is also abroad in exotic location so pretty expensive in itself. Feeling bad about not attending but I think it's a bit much... 😔

Those kind of hens are selfish and ridiculous, more than reasonable not to attend. I’m not even having one night away for mine, I couldn’t ask that of people! You never know your friends financial situations, and asking people to use their limited annual leave is really unfair

Do you really have to ask OP?

If course it's too much to ask and I wouldn't be attending even if it was my sister or best friend.

That would be a no from me.

Just what I said, a massive imposition. Big ego trip getting the way of friendship.

£350 plus spending money plus 4 nights/5days away 😳...(which would include using 3 days annual leave & leaving 2 children under age 4 at home with DH- we have no family help with childcare. DH is self employed so rarely takes time off work unless absolutely essential ie. family holiday)
Ridiculous indulgence

Would you attend under these circumstances... ??
No

I know of someone who had their hen week in Bali…

“Hello I’m getting married, please give up some of your annual leave and tell your husband to take some time off work to look after your children and pay £350 plus spending money for absolutely no reason at all other than I’m getting married.”

Ridiculous.

I wouldn't even consider going!

No chance.....

I suppose I feel a bit bad because the person attended mine - Altho mine was only 2 nights in UK city, under £150 and included theatre tickets, one evening meal & a daytime activity in the price so little spending money was needed on top.
Also I got married in UK so no cost to attend my wedding...
sounds silly but I don't really want to be away from my children for that long either, my youngest will only be 18 months ... is that a pathetic reason?

Also mine was on a bank hol weekend so no annual leave was required to be taken by people attending..

Will be attending the wedding which is also abroad in exotic location so pretty expensive in itself.

How do couples have the gall to ask people they like to do this?! I can just about get on board with a foreign hen if it's not silly money and the wedding is close to home, but at this stage they're asking people to spend probably well over £1,000 to attend their wedding and celebrations. I can't get my head around asking that if your friends and family. Just be honest(ish) and say with the cost of going to the wedding and DH's limited leave it's not feasible, but if she has a night out at home before the wedding you're well game.

No I wouldn't go, saying that I didn't attend sil hen party which was about 300, I'm also not attending the wedding because overall it would cost over a thousand pounds for me dp and dc to go. Saying that I wouldn't expect it to cost people an arm and leg to attend my wedding/ hen do xx

Also regarding leaving your children that was my main reason for not going to a hen weekend, I didn't want to be away from dc for one night let alone several!! Xx

People who expect you to attend a foreign holiday for 4 days for their hen do are deluded, particularly if you have dc. Batshit.

No.

It does depend on your hens, but really unless you are a group that go away normally it’s a nope.

Gosh your friend has more front than Blackpool asking her friends to spend that much time and money

I think it'll cost our family around £8K to attend the wedding 🙈!
Don't get me wrong we want to attend their special day and it will be a lovely holiday, but it's a lot of money to then go abroad for hen weekend as well... plus the main reason I just don't want to be without my babies for 5 days! Be different if they were teens lol or if it was only 1-2 nights away..

Long weekend is fine! But you need to know your audience. I’d happily go with my close friends on a hen. Lots of my friends would be up for it too. But we’re used to travel with friends at the drop of a hat and everyone Im close to could easily afford it. That’s definitely not always the case.

£8k to attend the wedding?!!! Fuck that shit-that would be a no as well!

I went on a two night/ 3 day hen do once.

It was awful, most of the hens friends were complete douche bags. I couldn't wait to come home.