Hen Weekend

[BearRabbitPants]

What are people's opinions on hen weekends abroad? What's classed as 'reasonable' regarding cost and duration? And what's classed as an acceptable reason not to attend? Thoughts appreciated!

£8k to attend a wedding?! That’s ridiculous. Are they very close family? I’m still bitter about the £2k we spent going to a wedding, we were closest wedding party though

I wouldn't go, no.

I think if you don't want to go to the hen holiday as well as an extremely expensive wedding/holiday (£8K!!!! Eeeek!!) then speak up sooner rather than later - and don't be guilted into spending your hard earned money on a) doing something you don't want to and b) being away from your children for a 5 day/4 night vanity project.

Taking extra precious vacation time for this (you) and possibly losing money (your husband) especially as you are also planning on attending an overseas wedding is a huge amount to ask of people - however close the asker is.

I bet you and your husband will feel a huge sense of relief when you say "no thanks" to the hen do! Be firm OP! 🌺

😮 £8K?!! I wouldn't spend that attending my OWN wedding, never mind somebody else's.

Way OOT. Say no. Children are the perfect excuse.

Unless the bride was my sister or sil I probably wouldn’t be going on hen. I have a lot of family abroad so often have to go for weddings & funerals but that to me is different as they live abroad in the first place.

£8k!!!!!!!!
I would be going to the wedding either.

I have told the person organising it that 5 days away and £350 plus spending money is too much for me considering we are attending the wedding and DH has to attend stag doo (he's very close to groom so has no choice) but if they decide to do something a little more reasonable ie 1/2 nights away & a lot cheaper then I'd be up for it. If not then I'll attend the hen night in our local town for the ppl that aren't attending the abroad one.
I haven't had a response so not sure it's gone down well. Oh well 😔.

Sounds incredibly selfish of the bride and couple unless they live in very affluent circles.
It’s not just the cost either, it’s the annual leave and logistics too.
What’s wrong with a nice meal on the weekend before the wedding?

Hold on a minute. Hen do's are for your friends. If you are her friend she should already know about young kids and your husband's situation. So she probably isn't expecting you to attend. Do not worry. Just go to the local night out. (I'm guessing by all this expense etc they are a child free couple.) Hell I wouldn't even be going to the wedding at that cost! That's a new car! We told DP brother if he married in Vegas we wouldn't go.

I haven't had a response so not sure it's gone down well.

You probably haven't had a response as the MoH is inundated with people messaging her saying the same thing.

I wouldn't be happy leaving my kids for 5 days either tbh. Not that theres anything wrong with it - they'd be with their dad - its just personal. I'd love the first 2 days then be a bit miserable for the rest. They are 1 and 3.
Going wouldn't be an option for me financially either, we simply don't physically have £350. Let alone £8k.
It's OK to feel how you feel OP, you have a plethora of reasons to give, just don't go.

Just read the update - she's having two hen nights?! Bloody hell.

Nope. Wouldn't go to the hen do.

And, unless I was seriously well off I wouldn't be going to a wedding at £8k either!

Unless the couple move in exclusively wealthy circles then destination hen parties are selfish, rude and ridiculous. There is no way I'd go on one. A destination I haven't chosen with people I don't know doing activities I don't want to do? Fuck that.

Hen/stags overseas are a bit much anyway but combined with an overseas wedding is ridiculous. That said I did like the Greek tradition of a female only party 48 hours before the wedding in the home (the grandparents house as they lived in the U.K.) centred around making the bed, and copious amounts of alcohol of course, then we all met up with the men in town. Everyone flew in on the Wednesday or Thursday then flew home Sunday night.

Ok, what are people's opinions on £350 plus spending money plus 4 nights/5days away

No way would I go. I'd rather spend the money going away with my husband or a weekend away with my girlfriends that we chose. As for 8K to attend a wedding, that is outrageous. A no all round from me.

Some people want to go on a hen do abroad and that's their prerogative.
You're totally not obliged to go, but I don't think you should have said you'd consider going if it was cheaper/shorter. Should have just said sorry haven't got the cash and can't leave the babies for so long, let me know if you're doing a Uk evening.

Good for you for making yourself clear.

Let's hope the idiotic plan collapses and the evening out locally is fun.

but I don't think you should have said you'd consider going if it was cheaper/shorter.

Should have just said sorry haven't got the cash and can't leave the babies for so long

How are they different?

Basically it’s a simple question of economics. If you can’t afford it, you shouldn’t go.
I personally, love a hen do abroad and always have a week away with friends once a year anyway.

Ok, what are people's opinions on £350 plus spending money plus 4 nights/5days away 😳...(which would include using 3 days annual leave & leaving 2 children under age 4 at home with DH- we have no family help with childcare. DH is self employed so rarely takes time off work unless absolutely essential ie. family holiday)
Would you attend under these circumstances... ??

I'd rather get in the bath with a toaster

I absolutely losthe them. Im glad im at an age where my friends are already married so I avoid this kind of tripe.

My friend’ Daughter is saving up for a house, and her pal is getting married this summer. She’s already had 4 hen do’s and there is one coming up abroad (again) and the friend’s daughter has refused to go explaining that she simply cannot afford to go on another weekend away eith them, having been on 2 with them. Them the chief bridesmaid texts her to say how upset the bride is blah blah.

If she was a real friend she’d understand how much saving for a house is?

REDCARBLUE 5 hen do's?!

Yep. Along the line of work colleagues/college pals/ladies in the family/best pals etc. Fucking ridiculous.