Would you find this annoying?

[BlackCatsRock]

My son and I play football in our back garden. We use a soft ball, not a proper football. Occasionally (maybe 5 or 6 times a week) the ball will go over the fence into our neighbour's garden. We don't go knocking to ask for the ball back, just wait to see if they throw it back over. If you were my neighbour would you find this situation annoying?

Yes. My previous neighbours did this and then started climbing over the fence to get the balls back. I ended up crippled with anxiety, wouldn’t open my curtains because their kids would be in my garden, it was noisy and disrespectful and I ended up moving house

@Ravingstarfish
I'm sorry to hear that. I've been in a situation where I've felt I've had no choice but to move. But what you're describing is not what is happening in this case.

By adopting one of the many helpful suggestions offered on this thread.

Using a heavier ball, walking to the park (hardly a problem if fresh air and exercise is the aim), playing with more care, focusing on other skills e.g. dribbling/precision etc?

@PCohle
I have said I will try a heavier ball and explained why we use a soft ball. We now have a goal which is kept away from their fence. I've said I am going to put up some trellis. We do go to the park, but as I've said it's a 15 minute walk away, so not always possible on the spur of the moment. I don't believe he could play with any more care. My only other option is to stop him altogether. Do you have any suggestions for what else he could do in the garden that might not annoy my neighbours?

One of those ankle leash things?

www.amazon.co.uk/Bloomoak-Soccer-Trainer-Practice-Adjustable/dp/B07PMQJ543?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I don't know why you're getting so upset.

You asked what you could do except stop your son playing, I listed several of the suggestions mentioned on this thread and you've said you're going to adopt several of them. Hopefully that will stop the ball going over 5-6 times a week and the problem will be resolved.

@BenWillbondsPants has a point. The neighbours that don't mind have grandchildren who come over and play in their garden. The neighbours who do mind don't have any grandchildren. I wonder if that does make a difference to how people feel about it?

@PCohle
What makes you think I'm upset? You've told me your point of view, but you haven't actually added any suggestions to alleviate the problem. So I asked you to suggest what else he could do. As I've said, I really don't want to fall out with my neighbours, and hopefully it won't come to that once I've tried some of the suggestions from other posters.

@BuzzShitbagBobbly
Thank you for your useful input. He has a birthday coming up so I'll have a look into it.

you haven't actually added any suggestions to alleviate the problem. So I asked you to suggest what else he could do.

I'm not really sure how much clearer I could be in my suggestions than I already have been: "Using a heavier ball, walking to the park (hardly a problem if fresh air and exercise is the aim), playing with more care, focusing on other skills e.g. dribbling/precision etc"

@PCohle
Those are not your suggestions, they are suggestions from other posters. Once again, what would you suggest he does in the garden apart from play football?

I'm not suggesting he doesn't play football in the garden though. Just that there are various things that can be done to mitigate the impact of his football playing on the neighbours.

I'm sorry you feel that I haven't managed to come up with any magic, hitherto unthought of, suggestions for how to do that. The common suggestions are popular for a reason!

If you don't want your son to play football in the garden though then I imagine there are endless other activities you could play together. Races, hula hoops, tug, skipping, cartwheels, catch, hopscotch, swingball etc.

@PCohle
Thank you, swingball is a really good suggestion.

Our neighbours little boy plays with a football in their garden constantly..He has about four footballs, they come over into our garden daily.
We don't mind at all, but we have a big garden. We have told him to just come and get them himself, when he kicks them over by mistake, instead of waiting for us to throw them back over.

To us it's not a problem at all

I didn't mind the constant small plastic balls. The small toys weren't so bad, either.

I drew the line at the fucking stones and glass bottles the kid next door lobbed over and smashed on the patio, though.

Wouldn't bother me at all it's not exactly hard to throw a ball back over a fence is it?!
If you were knocking for it every day then I might be slightly miffed but I still wouldn't complain about it. Some people are so uptight 🙄

Really? Do people really keep a kid's ball?

It's not about keeping it. My dogs would have probably put a hole in it or ripped it apart by the time I got home.

Does this kid live next door to you MitziK

If I'm honest this doesn't bother me much, we live in close proximity to our neighbours (back to back terraces). However since we've had our DDog, now 2 years old, the ball's have miraculously stopped coming over the fences into our garden. Ddog loves any kind of balls and being a biggish (Doberman) dog pops heavy footballs with ease. Before we lost our two older dogs they weren't bothered about balls so the kids didn't need to worry, plus with our old DDogs the kids were able to come and get the balls themselves as the dogs wouldn't even wake up (they were both 18 before we have to have them PTS). they can't do that with the dog we have now, not because she is vicious but because she would bowl them over wanting to play.

Now the weather is nicer though I do go to have a quick check in the garden before I let the dog out because I feel bad if she gets hold of the footballs.

Yes I would find this annoying.
DGS would occasionally kick his lightweight ball into ndn's garden and when it happened he had to wait till they threw it back and he had to apologise. He wasn't allowed to ask for its return. I'm sure they found it annoying.
I bought a large round trampoline and he enjoyed kicking lots of lightweight balls around that.
Your son will manage to find something else to do in your garden if you can't take him to the park.

5-6 times a week isn't occasionally. Yes, I would find it really irritating. Tbh you'd be lucky to get it back intact the first time as both my dogs have free access to the garden and love balls. If I managed to intercept it I'd throw it back over a few times, after that I'd give up I'm afraid.

OP most posters have said they'd find 5-6 times a week annoying and explained why. Your neighbours have told you they find it annoying. Your other neighbours could well be being polite for the sake of good relations and saying they don't mind while gritting their teeth.

@MindyStClaire
I think you'll find that opinions are fairly evenly split. I admit that more people said they would find it annoying than not, but some of those were saying things that are not relevant to this situation (knocking for the ball back, for example).

I've known both sets of neighbours for long enough to know that the ones who don't mind are not just 'gritting their teeth'.

I may also have over estimated the amount of times the ball goes over as since I posted it's gone over once and now my son is with his dad until Sunday night.

Op, you asked for opinions. 5/6times a week is almost everyday. Yeah, yeah without knocking but then it’s implied the other MUST throw the ball back.

I know I’ve said I’ve had to throw 6 balls back in one day, but that’s 6 balls when my kids have gone to bed and I want to relax.

Have you actually spoken to your neighbours and asked how they feel?

No point in getting defensive. I was giving my reasoning as to why I wasn’t happy.

BlackCatsRock are you really so dense? It's annoying. Stop enabling it.