What fashion fuckery is this??

[FrozenYogurt]

Looking for a new swimsuit for my holiday and came across this beaut...

https://m.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/swimwear-beachwear-3163078/orange-swimsuit-by-jaded-london-8540880?dual-run=topshop.com&geoip=noredirect&cmpid=socppfbukkfacebooktagging&istCompanyId=38aa0d7f-6514-4cb3-bbdc-df0d32d48b7f&istFeedId=5c1576b8-41f2-4da9-8a8e-e05debeb828d&istItemId=wqqitxtit&istBid=tztx

claws at eyes

I genuinely can't stop looking at the pictures. The oranges have been burnt into my retinas

Good grief! It’s like a giant loud bookmark for one’s flange. My eyes!

Bloody hellfire.

Essentially it's a hanky (albeit with oranges printed on) for forty quid.

That swimming costume KEEPS coming up on my Facebook as one of my targeted ads. I genuinely am a bit baffled that for some reason Facebook thinks I may be interested to buy it

Oh dear God... my foof hurts just looking at that! Imagine trying to actually swim

As if worrying about the fatness of my belly and thighs wasn't enough I now need to work out how to get rid of my fat fanny.

I wonder if I could wear it at 60 haha

If she ran along the beach - she’d be heard clapping her own efforts

Omg, why, just why?

Did they run out of material?

I’ve been invited to two pool parties in June and I’ve been looking for something that would draw attention away from my middle-aged dimpled thighs, I’m not sure focusing the attention on my dimpled flappage is the way to go though, plus I think I might be asked to leave given there may be animals, children and others of a nervous disposition present.

£135 for that ASOS one? How? Where? What cost more than £2.50?

Christ that Asos one! I'd look like a Sunday pork joint neatly tied up in butchers twine in that.

I wondered if it was designed to make access easier for hot tub sex, but if hot tub sex is where you are at, surely it would just be easier to get into the hot tub naked?

Personally, it reminds me of cheap C&A swimwear in the 80s, where they kept the prices low by scrimping on fabric. I could never find any swimwear in there that properly covered my backside or boobs.

I could just about get my head round it if it were in black. But making it out of some cheap material that looks like it comes on those huge laminated rolls you get outside cheap shops for use in the sort of cafe that has pictures for menus... that takes a particular level of design genius.

Imagine how that would look if you didn't shave.

Jesus! I have literally seen it all now with those designs. You just know they'll be all over love island...

I think that’s the most unflattering swimsuit I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe that anyone would look good in this!

Gosh I've noticed this trend for "high legged" swimsuits and bodysuits all over instagram. It just looks so uncomfortable! And unflattering. I'd rather take the "low slung" early 00s look (and I'd never have thought I'd ever say that!) because at least you weren't in danger of being cut in half!

This thread reminds me of the comments on the Boohoo bodysuit

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/boohoo-ridiculed-vagina-thong-bodysuit-15782381.amp

@Craftycorvid that properly tickled me: "a giant loud bookmark for one's flange"

I might get one. I'd look awesome with my C section overhang sticking out of the leg holes

Good lord well at least the eye would be drawn from my saggy tits by the enormous muff and wayward flaps leaping from the bottom