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Would this freak you out and WWYD?

58 replies

thisisacrazyidea · 17/05/2019 20:45

We are trying to buy a house (offer accepted stage). Just discovered that adjacent (20 acre) plot is putting in for planning permission for a sports and leisure facility. The 'sports' section is fairly specialised, but essentially a quiet sport, but the leisure facility, amongst other things, wants to serve as a wedding venue. We know a number of the current local residents, all of whom are opposed to the development. We were sent a copy of the plans by the developers and have obviously Facebook stalked them where we discovered that one of them has a child that will be in the same class our child in Sept - name, school and age on open business fb account (new school for our DC). I was going to reply along the lines of "thats an ambitious project. Mostly we are ok with it but we have concerns re x and y. By the way, our kids will be in the same class at X school next year". DH says not to as it will freak him out, I think if he is stupid enough to put all his DC details on an open fb account going to get stroppy re planning permission he might as well know from the start that he's going to see us regularly for many years to come, and not just as a neighbour. Thoughts?

OP posts:
mrswarthog · 17/05/2019 20:49

You'll come across as at best weird and stalking, at worst threatening. If someone commented that they didn't like something you were doing at work, then mentioned having access to your children how would you feel?

seven201 · 17/05/2019 20:49

I wouldn't include the kids in the same class thing. That would put me on the defensive as no one should admit to Facebook stalking!

BlackcurrantJamontoast · 17/05/2019 20:49

What would the point of that be?
Either buy and accept
Withdraw
Buy and join the opposition group

pilates · 17/05/2019 20:55

Pointless and weird

thisisacrazyidea · 17/05/2019 20:55

then mentioned having access to your children how would you feel?
I'd have a think about how I'd put my children at risk and remove the pages.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 17/05/2019 20:56

Sorry, who have you Facebook stalked? The developer? One of many developers?

Stalk seems an apt word. Don't mention the guys child. It feels like a veiled threat Shock

DramaRamaLlama · 17/05/2019 20:58

Yes you're right thisisacrazyidea

Haggisfish · 17/05/2019 20:58

Good lord. You are too odd.
Either buy and accept.
Withdraw.
But and join protest group without weird vaguely threatening shit!

thisisacrazyidea · 17/05/2019 20:59

crunchy 2 developers. did a google/lnkdin/fb search on both (doesn't everyone do this??). one has a kid at the same school our DC are going to.

OP posts:
Happyspud · 17/05/2019 21:01

Keep the children out of it. Inappropriate to mention them at all.

greatbigwho · 17/05/2019 21:01

Mentioning that makes you look like at best a stalker, and honestly, quite threatening. I'd probably be seeking advice if I received a comment like that

thisisacrazyidea · 17/05/2019 21:01

drama LOL. The name was in reference to something else!!! but i see your point.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 17/05/2019 21:01

Why would it even occur to you to do this?!

KittyMcKitty · 17/05/2019 21:03

It sounds really odd and genuinely like you are threatening them!

WorraLiberty · 17/05/2019 21:03

Why would he give a shit about your kids going to the same school and seeing your regularly, as a school parent? Confused

KittyMcKitty · 17/05/2019 21:05

Tbh it would also be a sure fire way to make you (and your children) into social outcasts at school - no ones going to be mad keen on asking the child with the stalky threatening mum round to play!

Obviouspretzel · 17/05/2019 21:06

Most people do stalk people on social media, yes, but I think the point is that you don't want them to actually know you've done it! So weird to mention their kid.

AtrociousCircumstance · 17/05/2019 21:07

He won’t care.

It would be strange and a blatant attempt to be manipulative.

I wouldn’t buy the house if I were you!

implantsandaDyson · 17/05/2019 21:08

That's really odd that you'd think it was ok to mention his kids. I thought most people would know not to muddy the waters between a parents profession and the education of their kids.

Pipandmum · 17/05/2019 21:08

There are proper channels to go through if you object to the development. It is too personal and aggressive to post on their Facebook page, public or not. You (may) be new to the neighbourhood and know nothing about this family. Are you really going to start your relationship in this way? How would you feel if someone posted on your page in this manner?
If you have legitimate objections then do it in the proper way - maybe there’s a public meeting about it? You’re not even owners yet.

thisisacrazyidea · 17/05/2019 21:20

Why would it even occur to you to do this?! I used to think this too, but there are many many reasons why you should check out other people.

Anyway, you've all answered my question. No to mentioning the kids. Thank you!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 17/05/2019 21:21

"Barbara, come and look at this. The couple who are trying to buy the place next door, aren't keen on us using our property as a wedding venue".

"Oh that's a shame Bob. Still, they'll have to go through the proper channels if they object".

"But Barbara, they've posted on Facebook that their kid is going to be in our kid's class at school!"

"Oh bollocks Bob! ABANDON PROJECT NOW!!"

hotcrossbun4321 · 17/05/2019 21:23

Very odd. If it were me I would withdraw, living next to a wedding venue or sports ground would drive me potty. Certainly wouldn't be sending threatening posts

mollysshadow · 17/05/2019 21:25

Batshit

PuppetShowInTheSoundofMusic · 17/05/2019 21:36

Isn't the obvious answer to pull out of the house buying and buy somewhere that won't have a wedding venue next door?

A businessman focussed on profit really won't give a shit if your kids are in the same year as his. I don't understand why you'd even mention it.