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Original poster

Would this freak you out and WWYD?

58 replies

thisisacrazyidea · 17/05/2019 20:45

We are trying to buy a house (offer accepted stage). Just discovered that adjacent (20 acre) plot is putting in for planning permission for a sports and leisure facility. The 'sports' section is fairly specialised, but essentially a quiet sport, but the leisure facility, amongst other things, wants to serve as a wedding venue. We know a number of the current local residents, all of whom are opposed to the development. We were sent a copy of the plans by the developers and have obviously Facebook stalked them where we discovered that one of them has a child that will be in the same class our child in Sept - name, school and age on open business fb account (new school for our DC). I was going to reply along the lines of "thats an ambitious project. Mostly we are ok with it but we have concerns re x and y. By the way, our kids will be in the same class at X school next year". DH says not to as it will freak him out, I think if he is stupid enough to put all his DC details on an open fb account going to get stroppy re planning permission he might as well know from the start that he's going to see us regularly for many years to come, and not just as a neighbour. Thoughts?

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 17/05/2019 21:37

Withdraw your offer. Sending any message referencing the children is a bit off (to say the least).

GabsAlot · 17/05/2019 21:38

Erm just pull our of the sale? Do you think they woldnt build a business because youre kids go to school together

SirVixofVixHall · 17/05/2019 21:39

Don’t do that. It will come over like a veiled threat, and will probably cause more problems.
If you want to object then join the community objections and follow process.
I assume this is golf ? The wedding venue bit, will it be close to your house ?

Springwalk · 17/05/2019 21:47

I would pull out of the house

Cherrysoup · 17/05/2019 21:51

I’d withdraw. We viewed a lovely house but the owner mentioned the community hall which was hidden behind some trees and the Saturday discos. We walked. I couldn’t cope.

TrickyKid · 17/05/2019 21:59

If you're going to comment do it in the planning application online. I really don't get why you'd mention your kids going to school together it's not relevant in any way.

Al2O3 · 17/05/2019 22:02

Most people do stalk people on social media, yes, .....

No they don't. Weirdo. Most people are not on social media. You could have meant - most people on social media do stalk people. Either way you are a White Knight for all that is negative about social media.

LuckyLou7 · 17/05/2019 22:15

Just withdraw from the house sale. Living next door to a golf club is fine, living next door to a wedding venue could potentially be hell on earth. Loud music, loud talking, drunken arguments or is that just the most recent wedding I attended

VladmirsPoutine · 17/05/2019 22:18

There's batshit and then there's galaxy level batshit and then there's this.

Original poster
thisisacrazyidea · 17/05/2019 22:20

vlad. I asked for an opinion. I've been given it, and as previously posted, taken it on board. Is Friday night when all the completely nasty MNers come out (there are a fair few on other posts tonight)?

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 17/05/2019 22:21

I agree with all that mentioning the child would be utterly weird and actually (not just social media nosily) stalkerish.

You sound as though you want to 'teach them a lesson' for their lax over-sharing on Fb. You would achieve this by demonstrating that it allows nutters to stalk them.

If you dislike aspects of the development you need to object, stating your reasons. There is no 'it's fine except...' response available. You object, or you don't.

You need to decide whether you want to buy the house, given the probable development, or not.

VladmirsPoutine · 17/05/2019 22:23

It was an opinion, not a dig. I think social media stalking is actually par for the course in all areas of life, but then to add the part about dcs is just too much.

Original poster
thisisacrazyidea · 17/05/2019 22:28

vlad, it felt like a dig, and I'm just feeling sad that we might have to pull out of our dream home because of it. I just think its weird when you meet people IRL and have to ask a load of get to know you questions that you already know the answer to because you've seen it all on SM. Was never meant as a veiled threat, more of a 'we are going to see a lot of each other, so lets make this work'.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 17/05/2019 22:41

I see. Social media has a lot to answer for, but even though we all do it I think it's one of those things very much best left unsaid. That aside, I gather it's not a done deal on their side. The development based on what you've said doesn't sound like it's going to be a raucous nightclub so all might not be lost especially if it's your dream home.

lottiegarbanzo · 17/05/2019 22:42

What makes you think you'll see a lot of each other? Develop parent(s) probably work long hours and use after-school clubs.

lottiegarbanzo · 17/05/2019 22:42

That's 'developer parent(s)'

Obviouspretzel · 17/05/2019 22:43

@Al2O3 in the UK, the majority of people are on social media. And yes, of course I did mean that most people who are on social media stalk people on social media. I could hardly mean the ones who aren't on social media.

I'm not a white knight for anything. I'm not saying it's a positive thing. What I am saying is that it is very common for people to look up other people they come across in real life on social media. It's pretty obvious.

lottiegarbanzo · 17/05/2019 22:44

On the general social media point, of course it's fine to refer to things posted by people you already know. Researching people in advance is nosy, possibly intrusive and not everybody does it.

SunniDay · 17/05/2019 22:47

Hi OP,

You mention your offer on the house is agreed but you have "just found out" about the development. If you decide you want to go ahead you should consider renegotiating your offer. This house is currently worth less than the same house without the proposed development. Does the asking price take into account the development? You can offer (or adjust your offer) what the house is worth to you with the development or buy elsewhere. If the sellers aren't realistic about what the house is worth with the development then walk away.

I think you are in a strong position to negotiate as the sellers will have this problem with all buyers - assuming they need to sell rather than just hang on to it or rent it out if they can't get the price they want.

Agree any objections should be through the proper channels but base your decision to buy on the worse case scenario - do you still want to live there if it is a venue with late night functions? Will the parking be adequate for the functions and sports or will it be a problem. Is it still your dream house (with venue)? Are the vendors selling because they don't want to live next to the development/because they think the development will reduce their house value? I'm sure they knew about the development but accepted your offer based on you not knowing about it. You weren't party to all the information you needed to assess the value of the house.

ReanimatedSGB · 17/05/2019 22:47

Yup, creepy, inappropriate and could come across as threatening enough for them to call the police. (You don't appear to mean it as a threat but 'I know where your kid goes to school' could very easily be interpreted as one.)

ReanimatedSGB · 17/05/2019 22:49

Also, why not look for a house on a deserted island or something. You do sound like the potential whinyarse neighbours from hell.

Missingstreetlife · 17/05/2019 22:56

If they have planning permission walk on by

Ivestoppedreadingthenews · 17/05/2019 22:58

That's creepy OP. Just because s/he is unwise with fb security doesn't mean you should capitalise on it. It could almost be read as a threat! At best it's very weird.

UnderTheSeaWithMe · 17/05/2019 23:08

thisisacrazyidea
Anyone else spot the username. 😂 Oh the irony

thethethethethe · 17/05/2019 23:10

Was never meant as a veiled threat, more of a 'we are going to see a lot of each other, so lets make this work'.
That's what other people mean when they use the word threat.
Are you seriously suggesting that they should drop the development plan because a child from a nearby house will go to their child's school? It's so barking mad, I'm finding it hard to get my mind around your thought process. Not nice though, that's for sure.