If I had a penny for every time....

[Hadenoughofitall441]

Someone said I’ve just printed it after handing you a note. Working in retail for 14 years that’s literally all I hear. I think I’d be able to retire comfortably by now. I always quip back but it’s just like ‘as if I haven’t heard that one before’

Come on let’s keep it going and see how many people can relate....

Another retail one.
Customer-"Oh what a shame, the weather's gorgeous out there and you're stuck in here working, what a shame."
Me muttering-"Is it, I hadn't fucking noticed." 😤

If I had a penny for every time my dogs farted I would be a very rich woman.

I feel really silly but I don't think I understand the OP 😭😭

Ignore me, I read it as a note, handwritten on a piece of paper, not cash 😭 I've never heard anyone say that before though!

Customer 'joking' that they'd just made/printed the money. It's an oldie but not a goodie.

I worked in a cafe when I was 13.
'Do you take sugar?'
'No, You're sweet enough for me' 🤮

5 pence for a carrier bag?
Yes, since 2014. 🙄

I work in a supermarket on checkouts and self serve, I've lost count of the amount of times I hear "oh it didn't scan? It must be free!"

🙄 hilarious!

Dropping coins as they're paying

"Oh! I'm throwing money away!"

Have you got change of a £20?
It's 20 quid not a gazillion pound note.

I used to work in an old fashioned sweet shop when I was a teenager.

"I feel like a kid in a sweet shop"

I don’t get the I’ve just printed it so much but definitely the joke that it must be free if it doesn’t scan first time

That'll be £17.63
Sorry, I've only got £14.22.
No worries, I'll put it in out of my minimum wage. 🤪

In a high street bank, every other customer asks 'You're not going to close are you?', like I make the decision or that they tell us but then keep it a secret from the customers.

My favourite response is 'I'm not allowed to say!'.

@Shadow01, think printed paper notes.

Just printed this one this morning. The ink should be dry.

They're pretending they're forgers, printing their own money.

It's wrong to have two women here this time of night.

Stop coming in then.we are only here because people come in

Massive sign displaying opening hours on the front door. Shop opens at 8am.
Cue the rattling on the door by people at 7.38 mouthing "are you open yet?"

@Gingernaut I know what it means I meant that customers have got bored of trying that one

Anything else I can help with?
Yes.. Do you have this coming Wednesday lottery numbers?
Fuck off. If i did i wouldn't be serving you now!

Agree with the 'oh it's lovely outside' when you are stuck inside serving someone

Also the sugar 'I'm sweet enough'

I used to have a customer every week who would place his order and finish it with 'And a pound out the till please' You HAD to respond, ignore it and he would go on and on labouring the point. This went on for years until I snapped, grabbed my purse, took out £1, slapped it on the counter, told him for the millionth time he couldn't have £1 out the till as I would lose my job if the till didn't balance, but as he was so obviously desperate he could have £1 out of my purse from my wages.

Believe it or not the old git took it!!

Believe it or not the old git took it!!

I had a namebadge saying 'temporary staff' when I did a few months Christmas cover in Woolies. If I heard "temporary staff, that's a funny name" once I heard it a million fucking times.

“He’s always had blood pressure, nurse”

Well yes. He’d be dead otherwise.

@thisistheendgame
I used to work in woolies and they took so long getting me a name badge I used a different one everyday from the big pot of badges. I used to get people saying, ‘well you don’t look like a simone’ ‘or you don’t look like a Claire’ it was on the tip of my tongue to say ‘well you don’t look like a dick, so there we go’
Funnily enough there’s a programme called superstore and one of the characters in there uses a different name badge every episode 😂😂 I’m a trendsetter 😂