Can you tell me about your GIRLS with autism please?

[Whatevermission]

And also, what is the benefit of a diagnosis

DD is 8 and I am wondering;

Still tantrums like a 2 year old
Cannot compromise, has to be her way or see above
Has few friends
Very bossy/controlling
Lots of sensory issues earlier in life though; mostly ok
Likes tidy ordered room
Doesn't sit still/always banging stuff/fidgeting/clumsy
Doesn't listen/asks questions but doesn't wait for answer
Very academic
Very

I didn't realise how atypical my DD was until my younger children started school and their differences became clearer. It was only prompted by a friend commenting when DD was 8 that I started to consider ASD.

If you all don’t mind me asking- at what age did you start to think your girls may have autism or ADHD?

My daughter is only a baby, 10 months old. But she just won’t stop moving, can’t stay still and seems to have some sensory issues.

10 MONTHS!!!!,

I'm sorry but you have described a typical 10 month old baby.

I went to the GP to have DD referred to CAMHS. She was diagnosed with Autism age 9.

The most important thing her diagnosis gave at the point we received it was understanding. For the future it offers an explanation.

It was a long (3 years) process but certainly worth it so she could understand why she is different.

Coffee I know, it’s hard to explain I guess but she is much more difficult and different than any 10 month olds I know.I’m overthinking but I just worry. I know I shouldn’t compare to others.

PerfectPeony honestly I’m stunned anyone would even question this at 10 months, there is nothing at 10 months to indicate autism. Honestly.

@PerfectPeony2 Don't waste this precious time looking for something that probably isn't there.

I know it’s silly. Thanks - I have just found it hard so I guess I was wondering if there’s a reason for how she is.

Sorry to derail thread.

Dd 11 has autism and to name a few problems.
Very controlling
Lack of real friends
Struggles to keep and make friends
Meltdowns
Sleep issues
Extreme sensory with noise
Sensory issues with clothes
No awareness with road
Lack of appropriate behaviour in public
Always needs to be centre of attention
Cant see others pov
Language issues
Brushing hair issues
Washing hair and self issues
Very loud but expects others to be quiet

@perfect at 10 months DD wasnt particularly harder work than her peers but my friend's son was and he was diagnosed at 3. But I've lots of other friends who had babies who were like your DD and are NT. It's really hard when you're trying to figure out why your baby seems different to others. It might be ASD or something but she might just be being a baby. Try not to worry. As she gets older it'll be clearer.

I thought I would give you an adult female ASD perspective; I wasn't diagnosed until my 20s but I can see how I was as a child.

Sensory issues have stayed similar over the years - labels, scratchy bits, waistbands, tight sleeves - shudder!
Compulsive picker - skin on fingers, face, pulling patches of hair - the hair thing has stopped as I grew older and I no longer bite my nails
Fidgeting - yeah, no improvement
Highly academic, ideal pupil at school
But... No friends (University was the best for having friends)
Noise aversion
Poor priopreception, although I have improved over the years (I can now use a screwdriver and screws neatly!)
Weird ways of doing things - pattern habits (kind of OCD like, but it's not that)
Superb written communication but peculiar handwriting and verbally I can just lose it half way through a sentence
Obsessive interests - this will never go I'm afraid. Particular animals, railways, certain songs

This is too long now.

Following. My dd is has her assesment later this year but school are treating her "as if."

She uses ear defenders in school ehich have really really helped her anxiety. She was struggling with noisy classrooms and focus (teachers said she was perfect but she'd come home and cry for an hour.)

We also have "social stories" for any non timetabled day. A v simplified outline of the day with pictures. A Ta often goes through any changes before they happen too. A change in teacher will set her off..

Im hoping a diagnosis might ease transition to secondary. Shes ever so bright and my current worries are around getting her to the 11+ assesment without her struggling (test is fine/being alone in new environment less so...) and also gow she will cope at secondary and all the changes :(

Hello OP this is a really interesting thread as there is so much about boys with autism and less so with girls who often mask their difficulties.
My DD is nearly 5 and has HF autism and her characteristics are as follows:
Sensory issues
Limited diet consisting of only beige foods
Very controlling of her environment
Very self directed and struggles to focus and follow instructions.
Struggles to make friends although she appears to want them she has difficulties with boundaries and is too over bearing.
Very clever.
Has melt downs if she is not told in advance of things/ changes of plans.
Has to be right and will argue until agreed with if she believes she is correct.
Makes attachments with adults
Obsessive interests and likes to read the same books over and over/ watch the same programmes.
Struggles with eye contact in some situations.
Very loving and affectionate if she trusts you. Very attached to her family.

She also spends a large part of her play re-enacting things she has done during the day with her hundreds of soft toys.
She also notices every little detail about a person and is very good at copying/ mimicking what her peers/class mates are doing

They really are so so different arent they in how they display it though.

I don't have a girl but my Ds is 14 and currently being assessed for autism. He has masked for years a lot like many girls do. He has gone undiagnosed and this has caused multiple issues in his teenage years, I so wish we had pursued an assessment earlier. From our experiences now I would say an earlier diagnosis would be really beneficial.

Thank you apparentlychilled for your thoughtful response. I definitely wouldn’t describe her as a ‘normal’ baby and I don’t know any one else with the same problems as us so that’s interesting.

This is all fascinating. I have my first conversation with the school educational psychologist today. Dd is 14 and has always been very challenging at home, but has done well at school.

However, she's just moved schools and the wheels have totally come off her wagon!

My teenage dd was diagnosed 3 years ago. She has terrible separation anxiety, very restricted beige diet, very rigid in her expectations which makes her siblings see her as controlling. Not at school as bullied by pupils as well as teachers!! So we’re now picking up the pieces of that more than 4 years on. Obsessive about certain subjects, will struggle with two way conversations, will only wear the same clothes over and over again (thank goodness for the quick programme on our washing machine) and doesn’t pick up on social cues. I can see signs of depression in her as she gets older. She sees a psychologist who is wonderful with her but no-one can make things better for her, there is no magic wand, no quick fix. ☹️

@PerfectPeony2 Seriously? She moves about a lot - that's what they do. She seems to have sensory issues - that's how they learn.

Honestly I think you need to see your GP about this because constantly looking for a problem In a 10 month old baby isn't normal.

I don’t think that noticing that your baby is different is necessarily constantly looking for a problem. (Unless I’ve missed some massive backstory?)

Peony, my eldest DD (6) exhibited behaviour like that as a baby. Never stayed still, slept very little, tantrums over minor sensory issues etc. She has always been very bright but very hard work. My mum told me I should get help from someone as she was ‘a very difficult child’ when she was a toddler. Now she is older she has calmed down a lot although does exhibit some of the behaviour on this thread. I don’t know if she has autism. On balance I don’t think so but I will keep an eye on her.

Reading Dr. Sears’ articles on high needs babies helped me with her quite a lot and she chilled out a bit once she got siblings. Good luck!

No I don’t need to see my GP. I saw this thread and wanted to ask a genuine question. Absolutely nothing wrong with that and I’m sure many people who have had a difficult baby have wondered this at some point and can relate. Mumsnet is for asking parenting questions after all.

And thank you gunpwder. Not sure what I did to annoy coffee so much.

My dd is totally opposite, she's nearly 16 things didn't become apparent until she was around 14

Never had tantrums, she gets emotional and that exhaust her, and looking back we put a lot down to her being overtired

Sensory issues for ever but have got worse the older she gets

Not academic at all, has SENS

Very anxious always has been this has got worse when she became a teenager

No clumsiness or anything, she has amazing motor skills and very talented gymnasts, dancer at sports etc

12 year old dd here, diagnosed last summer.

-As a young child, she had terrible tantrums/meltdowns, I couldn't understand why she hadn't outgrown these. Couldn't control her emotions

-Needed a lot of physical affection/input, would come back for another quick cuddle...and another....and another

-Would get anxious if I was out of sight for a few seconds in a shop etc

-Had a set of phrases she would say before going to sleep and she needed me to answer in a certain way

-Had trouble understanding jokes

It all came to a head about 2 years ago (coinciding with the start of puberty) when she developed quite severe misophonia, so much so she often doesn't eat in the same room as the rest of the family. Dh suspected ASD and we had a private assessment a year ago. I think a diagnosis can be helpful as it helps US to understand her issues. I know so much more about ASD now. However, dd is very upset/angry about the diagnosis and whilst she does know about it, she's in denial and we haven't discussed it with her since the diagnosis. Just hoping she will come to accept it in time.