Would you reply to this text?

[Freshia381]

I messaged a friend yesterday to ask if her DD was free to play tomorrow. She replied promptly with ‘I’ve no idea lol!’ I haven’t replied but I’m stewing over the rudeness of it.

how old is the daughter? if she's young then yes it's rude and don't bother replying.

She’s 9.

She's saying the DD now picks her own friends and doesn't do set up play dates anymore

Cor that's rude and I'd be most put out by that response.

FreshAprilStart so why not just say ‘thanks, I’ll ask her’?

Babymamaroon would you reply or let it go?

I don't see that as rude. I get it's not what you wanted to hear, but I think she's telling him her daughter now decides these things herself.shes nine not five.

Is there more to this, Op? Have you tried setting up play dates before and the friends DD has been reluctant so this is your friends way of saying 'stop asking'?

Just seems a strange and abrupt response without a backstory

I'd prob rethink my entire approach to interpersonal relationships then have a panic attack but mb just me.

I'm with you @Freshia381 that is rude

She probably just meant she doesn’t know what she’s doing tomorrow yet. But of course she could have just said that.

In reply to the question to me, it looks like she is trying to avoid saying my DD doesn't want to play with your child.

It happens. Usually about this age. I'd let it go and just kept your adult friendship going.

Not sure how its rude?? If you messaged me id probably have replied along those lines. At 9 my DD was arranging her own playdates.... I just confirmed with the parent.

No I wouldn't reply or try to arrange any other meet ups. It's a rude message but I'd take it to mean that she doesn't want to make arrangements. Encourage your dd to make other friendships and start to arrange her own social life.

s there more to this, Op? Have you tried setting up play dates before and the friends DD has been reluctant so this is your friends way of saying 'stop asking'?

She’s incredibly flakey, very hard to pin down, gives vague replies, always late for things. Our DD’s absolutely love playing together, hers has to be dragged out of here most of the time. When she’s here she always asks when can she come again, can my DD sleep over at hers etc etc We have to arrange these get togethers cause we live a fair distance from eachother.

I pursue it for the children.

her daughter now decides these thingsherself.shesnine not five.

At 9 I would expect the dd to decide if she wanted to accept the invitation or not but would still need go be sanctioned by parents. There may well be plans parents make that their 9 year old is not aware of.

I think the reply was rude OP.

It wasn’t rude rude but it was dismissive from a casual acquaintance.

She could have written

“I don’t know lol! I’ll ask her to message your daughter. “

These girls are 9, they can only contact eachother through us. They don’t have phones.

Id let that one go OP.

She's blowing you off for whatever reason and I would take the hint.

Ah. Seen your update. So is it more the perpetual flakiness of the mother and vague replies and this is the tipping point?

If the girls really like each other then vent here then suck it up with the parent and ask again until you get a reply.

You can't change flakey.

a parent of a 9 year old would normally still like to know where her child is going and and who she will be with. This is absolutely normal and for safety reasons essential with a 9 year old, especially if she's going somewhere not in the same street.

This does not mean that the child doesn't decide whether she wants to play or not. It means as a responsible parent you need to know where your young children are.

OP there really are some posters on here who either do not have children of their own or are wilfully misunderstanding your issue.

This other mum is just being awkward for whatever reason. Don't bother asking her again.

No I wouldn't reply, that's very rude especially if you say they don't have phones to make arrangements themselves 🤔

With that update then I would follow it up with

“It’s not me that’s asking. It’s DAUGHTERS NAME.”

Extremely rude. Fucking hell, some Mumsnetters will say anything to be contrary.

I think I’ve just got to suck it up, again! Another year or so and they will have phones and be able to make their own arrangements. If I stop now the friendship will more than likely end and I don’t want that to happen. DD does have lots of other friendships but this one is special. They never bicker, never fall out, they just laugh and play, the time flies and they have a blast. It’s rare to find.