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Original poster

Would you reply to this text?

56 replies

Freshia381 · 11/05/2019 18:27

I messaged a friend yesterday to ask if her DD was free to play tomorrow. She replied promptly with ‘I’ve no idea lol!’ I haven’t replied but I’m stewing over the rudeness of it.

OP posts:
Sagradafamiliar · 11/05/2019 19:06

And yet your previous updates indicates she's not keen on your DDs' friendship continuing for a while but you've been missing all the cues.
Sorry. Some people are a bit crap. I'd leave it and they can still see each other at school.

Original poster
Freshia381 · 11/05/2019 19:13

Sagradafamiliar they don’t go to the same school.

I get very mixed messages though. There’s lots of ‘they get on so well’, ‘the friendship means so much’. I did have enough a couple of years ago and stopped contact, I heard nothing until it was DD’s birthday and she came round with a present and card. She wasn’t upset that I hadn’t been in touch but said along the lines of ‘when was the last time we saw eachother? It must be months?! (It was 6) We must catch up soon!’ The DD’s started pestering to play together and we slipped back into the old routine.

OP posts:
littledinosaurs · 11/05/2019 19:25

Fireman's response is golden.

Sagradafamiliar · 11/05/2019 19:26

School/wherever they know each other from.
Gosh that is very mixed, I don't think I know when my friend's kid's birthdays are unless mentioned so she'd put thought into that. God know then. I'd just reply, 'ok! Well let me know when she is and we'll arrange something'

JaneEyre07 · 11/05/2019 19:32

I'd leave the ball in her court.

And yes I think it's rude.

BackforGood · 11/05/2019 19:47

How's that rude ? Confused

Bit frustrating of course if you like to have your weekend planned out, but she's just admitting they've not got round to sorting what they are doing tomorrow.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 11/05/2019 19:59

I would describe her response as flippant and yes it would irritate me, I would take it as she (the mother) is not interested in arranging a play date, otherwise she could have just said she will ask her and get back to you. I would not bother to reply.

examtastic · 11/05/2019 20:10

I don't think it's rude either. Our DC and their friends are so busy that I can imagine several of the mums, or me, sending a message like that when things feel out of control.
It's probably a bit frustrating because you can't plan but I would respond in a similar way ...
if you're flexible say 'haha just let us know in the morning', or if not say something like, 'we're going to do X so let me know tonight or we'll see you at school on Monday '.

Charley50 · 11/05/2019 20:14

Maybe as your question was a bit vague, she thinks you're angling to go round to hers tomorrow, and she doesn't feel like entertaining your DD and maybe you? So she was vague in return to your vagueness.

Charley50 · 11/05/2019 20:15

Or today.

OneThreadOnly0101 · 11/05/2019 20:17

It's definitely rude, puzzled that anyone thinks it isn't Confused

Maybe it's mum who can't be bothered to see you, rather than child not wanting play date?

I don't have kids but I'm pretty sure I wasn't fully responsible for my own social calendar at 9. Some of these replies are odd.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 11/05/2019 20:18

I read this a different way. She is saying she has no idea and the lol is because she has no idea. I am sure she will get back to you when she knows

BlueMerchant · 11/05/2019 20:23

She's implying her daughter is Miss Popularity and out with other friends and can't ask her. She's saying it's likely her daughter will have other social engagements lol Hmm

EffYouSeeKaye · 11/05/2019 20:32

Rude and flippant.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 11/05/2019 20:41

She sounds like a proper arsehole LOL.

HomeHell · 11/05/2019 20:50

Rude and blunt reply. No excuse.

Regardless if how the daughter or mum arrange thier social life the reply is unnecessarily curt.

There are nicer ways to reply.

donquixotedelamancha · 11/05/2019 20:57

It's definitely rude, puzzled that anyone thinks it isn't

I'd have assumed it was a joke.

BeardedMum · 11/05/2019 21:05

Very rude

Awrite · 11/05/2019 21:07

Definitely rude.

Would it be arsey to reply 'Message received'? Yeah, it probably would.

How about - 'Right, I'll tell dd'?

KMoKMo · 11/05/2019 21:14

I don’t think I’d say it was rude but certainly very odd. Could she have been drinking?
Why don’t you ask her outright if her DD doesn’t want to continue the friendship?

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 11/05/2019 21:15

The message is very rude. She could have followed it up with "I need to check with my husband, I think he may have made plans", or "I'll let you know tomorrow", or a multitude of things. As it is, I hope you're not keeping the day free in case she deigns to accept. In fact if she does get in touch tomorrow to arrange a time, that's the point where it's time to either show some self-respect, or roll over and let her know she can do this again. The message suggests that her time is important but you'll just keep your weekend free on the off - chance that she fancies it on the day.

HeddaGarbled · 11/05/2019 21:19

I think she’s thinking: it’s Saturday evening, I’m just about to sit down and relax, oh lovely, it’s Sunday tomorrow, no plans so we can have a lazy family day, oh no, what’s this, someone’s trying to get me to commit to something, I’ll put her off.

DizzySue · 11/05/2019 21:20

What a rude response!

Is just ignore her and start winding the friendship down she has made it perfectly clear they don't really value your DD's friendship very much.

DpWm · 11/05/2019 21:21

I would have been hurt by that comment.

If someone messaged me "is dd free to play tomorrow" I would assume it was because your child wanted to play with mine tomorrow and i would want to facilitate that if I could.

If she were busy I'd say "sorry busy"

If she were free but I were anxious about exactly what "play" you had in mind, eg, what time? Are you expecting to come here? Am I going to have to pack a lunch? I'd reply with "not sure exactly we're not organised yet what did you have in mind?"

If I just didn't like you or your child I'd say "sorry busy" or maybe... "No idea lol".

Maybe this mum is just naturally dismissive of others. Sorry op I'd be annoyed too.

HeddaGarbled · 11/05/2019 21:21

Apologies, I’ve just realised you contacted her yesterday, not just now. Still, Sunday is a family day for a lot of busy people.