a man saw an advert in the pet shop for a talking centipede for sale for £500. So he goes and buys it and takes it home in a small box. After half an hour, he opens the box and asks the centipede if he would like to go for a drink. The centipede doesn't answer. The man raises his voice and asks again, but still gets no reply from the centipede. Getting angry and thinking he has been done, he shouts the question again at the centipede. The centipede sticks his head out of the box and says "I heard you the first time, I was putting my bloody shoes on!!"