Nc’d as dsis would definitely recognise me from my previous posting history.
Dsis and I have been best friends our whole life. We were born 11 months apart and were in the same class for primary and secondary. Even now we live 80 miles apart we message each other everyday and speak on the phone a couple of times a week. She’s the funniest, cleverest, just loveliest person I know.
But, nearly 2 years ago she had her first child and has turned into a completely different crazy person. I’m sure when I had my first dc I was a bit child centric for a while but this is a whole new level. Her dh and her ate puréed food for 6 months when her dd wouldn’t eat anything through baby led weaning as they wanted to all eat the same as a family. I got her dd a little dress when she was a couple of months old. Dsis opened it and immediately shoved it back in the bag in shock and said ‘I told you she won’t be wearing dresses.’ She may have told me at some point during one of her massive lists of what they will/ won’t be doing for dd but I genuinely didn’t pick up on it. When her dd was about 6 months old I said something like ‘don’t you look pretty in your stripy leggings’ and was told I wasn’t to use the word pretty, I should say ‘strong’ or ‘brave’. If we ever go to cafes dsis will bring out a picnic she’s made for her dd and herself, again because the family must all eat the same thing. Once I got my dc’s an ice cream when we were out and dsis constructed a wall out of a couple of muslins and sticks so her dd wouldn’t see them eat it. I was told if I wanted to buy them ice creams could I let her know in future so she could remove her dd.
There are so many more crazy examples that it would take days for me to list. I thought it would last a few months and then she’d realise she was being nuts and go back to being herself. But it’s been nearly two years and there’s no sign of my dsis coming back. I don’t want to mention that she might be being a teeny bit ott with her dd because I don’t want to upset her. But she doesn’t seem to be bothered that a lot of her parenting is clearly disapproving of what I’m doing and it makes me feel a bit shit.
In previous years we always used to set Skype up next to each other when we watched tv series so it was like we were in the same room. She won’t do that now as she doesn’t want to use screens unnecessarily (even though her dd would be in bed) as it sets a bad example. I was watching GoT the other night on my own and I actually started crying because I missed my dsis so much.
Is there any hope of her coming back? I know everything changes when you have kids but I’d like just one conversation with her that wasn’t about how she’s raising her child. Or do you think I just have to accept this is who she is now?