Feeling a bit scared and alone

[Zofloramummy]

So tomorrow morning I’m going into hospital for planned surgery to remove my gallbladder.
I’m a lone parent and my dd has gone to stay with my parents. I’m making my own way to the hospital and having to stay overnight as there isn’t an adult to stay with me for 24 hrs.

I’m a 43 yr old healthy woman. Yet I find myself feeling quite unsettled. I will be fine. But I don’t 110% know I will be.

I’m also alone, I have no one to talk to. To share my fears. I have friends, and family but no one I am close enough to share my feelings with without upsetting them. I am feeling a bit sad tonight.
My parents and my dd love me. But right now my parents need to support my dd.

It doesn’t matter if no one answers this thread. I just needed to say, I’ll be ok, but right now I’m not ok. I’m having a cry on my own with a cat.

You will absolutely be okay. It is very normal to have pre op nerves. If it helps I went in to have a planned c-section with my youngest and was convinced I was going to die 😂 I had millions of panic attacks leading up to it and guess what? On the day I was fine. Once you are there and in your gown you will be calm and collected. Then after it you will laugh, like I did 😂😂😂 for a long time. Xxx

Hand hold from me! You'll be fine. Maybe try visualising everything going well and how good it'll feel to have it out of the way?

I know you are right. Rationally.

The last surgery I had was an emergency c section. And I managed fine despite losing a lot of blood.

I just looked at dd last night and thought omg what if something goes wrong? How would she cope? I can’t not be here for her. Which is a massive over reaction I know!!

Hand hold from me too. The nurses etc will look after you. I hope it goes really well and you are reunited with your daughter before you know it.

Oh love, you'll be fine, I promise you. I am 44 and had my gall bladder out on February 18th. I'm mum of a 4 year old with disabilities and a 3 year old.
I'm not going to lie, recovery is hard but you'll soon be better.
For the first 3 days I didn't get out of bed other than to use the toilet and then slowly I was able to do more and more. By week 3 I was driving again. The hardest part for me was not being able to pick up my babies!

On the plus side I was admitted as an emergency in January with Acute Cholecystitis (gallbladder infection due to stones) and since then have not been able to eat anything with more than 5g of fat.

So I’m fantasising about
Sausages
Cheese
Pizza
Crisps

Silver lining

It is absolutely normal to fear the unknown, especially when you have a young child! Operations are horrible but like you thought 'you cant not be here for her' use it to help your recovery 'I've got to get better so I can do this....' instead of thinking about the negative side try and think positive. This is coming from a woman who does not think positive 😂. Good luck for tomorrow. Xx

Thank you for replying, this is why love MN.

Just sending a handhold and a reassuring squeeze you'll be ok

@lolalolly thank you! I’m trying to focus on the positive but feel weirdly emotional. I think this is the first time I’ve had a medical issue since I’ve been a mum and it’s made me a bit

@1lifeforthe2ofus it’s really reassuring to hear from someone else whose had this crappy gallbladder problem! How long did it take you to get back to work? I work in a school and want to get back ASAP (I’m a senco TA).

Thanks @PH03b3

@flower777 I hope so! She has said she thinks I should have one night at home to recover before she comes back! She is 8 and able to do some things but not others. Most likely will want to be plastered to me as she’s a bit scared about the whole thing.

@Zofloramummy I'm a SAHM but 2 weeks after surgery I was walking around the zoo!

That’s good because we are members of our local zoo and over Easter we did 2/3 and my dd is very keen to finish off the last bit (and I’ve never seen that part) so that’ll be a good target!

@HoustonBess yes I’m absolutely focusing on the afterwards. No more pain, able to eat whatever I like, Cheese.
Did I mention Cheese?

Honestly though OMFG the pain of these little gallstones has been excruciating. Mostly I’m going to be glad that I can eat a meal and not worry that I’m going to be doubled over with pain and can’t breathe properly whilst vomiting bright yellow bile. Because that really hasn’t been a barrel of laughs

You’ll be absolutely fine. By Bank Holiday Monday you are going to feel sooo much better.

I am a single parent and had my gallbladder out last year. As long as you don't rush to do too much afterwards then you will be fine - I was fine doing everything except for a 2 mile walk to school a week after surgery, fool that I was. When you get home make it easy for yourself - sit on the sofa, watch tv, do gentle exercise as the doctor recommends and don't be afraid to phone the GP surgery for a home visit in the very unlikely event that you need to see them. It's worth getting your parents to buy some dressings as if your experience is like mine they send you home without enough spares - they sent me home with just the one I had on you can buy them in Boots/Sainsburys etc.

It’s weird because I’m quite happy being single but tonight I’m a bit emotional and teary. I’ll be going to the hospital alone. I won’t see my family until Saturday.

I think I want my mum!

I forgot the most important thing - get some Wallace and Gromit films lined up. 'More cheese Gromit?'

Good idea to cry with a cat- they are very absorbent.
You’ll get through this.

you will get through, and there are enough insomniacs and overseas folks on MN for a middle of the night handhold if you need it.
Would you be able to stay overnight at your parents house if you could come home the same day?

I stayed at home after mine, I lied to hospital

Thanks for the heads up about dressings, fortunately my dd’s School and my school (I’m secondary) are within 1/4 mile of home and each other.
I’m anticipating I’ll be off for 2 weeks, hopefully less.

Haha! @floraloctapus the last time I had elective surgery I self discharged so I could go home and watch the next episode of Friends! (In Uni many years ago ).

Parents live too far away and tbh knowing they are looking after dd is enough.

@cakeandchampagne I have 3 cats (accidentally!) only one is truly absorbent as she is a long hair. They are all very cuddly though so I’m sure they’ll cope. I can’t sleep without being pinned down by at least 3 of them!

2 of them! Even.

There a whole hierarchy going on. The girls can sleep on/next to me. Boy cat is allowed to sleep next to my feet. This is a cat defined not human hierarchy btw!