I have just had a conversation with my husband that finished with...

[VoteJadot]

... him simulating wanking a frog. I haven't laughed so hard in years. What's made you laugh today?

I've got as far as @PristineCondition and I'm ruined.

This could be my DH. He has full blown conversations with the cat. Mainly moaning about his lack of consideration as a room mate in our home.

The Mumsnet thread about the shittest meals you've ever served. Think it was over on Chat. One person had run out of clean plates, and served her son's chicken nuggets on a frisbee

Is it the women who has the page called knee deep in life @aposter. She's hilarious

One of my team just tagged me in this. It's a difficult time at work at the moment and this kind of stuff keeps me going.

Me and my work friends have begun a trend of writing silly limericks about each other, it’s spread and I’ve done them for my DP and all his mates too. They’re all ridiculous and we all end up crying with laughter over them.

My boss was having a go and asked what rhymes with ‘pirate’ I helpfully exclaimed ‘sky light!’ She actually snorted while she was laughing
(The rest of my limericks rhyme better than that by the way )

DS1 lost a tooth down the plug hole and was inconsolable. We convinced him to write a note to the tooth fairy to explain. We fished it out at midnight from under the pillow, it began "dear creepy creep who sneaks into my bedroom and buys teeth" 🦷

My husband told me he’d added cumin to his porridge this morning instead of cinnamon because he always puts the cinnamon at the end of the spice shelf and I’d used a few spices yesterday so I had innocently muddled them up. He had to chuck it away and start again! I am now plotting to mistakenly leave the hot chilli powder at the end

Parents evening. Dd only 12 doing really so well in everything bar one non academic subject. I booked us in to see the teacher of that subject in error. An odd intense chap who berated us as apparently dds grades are worse than last year partly due to a performance fail because dds partner had stage fright. I thought he was joking and burst out laughing but he was deadly serious. Dd and I managed to hold it together until we had left the room.

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday Cumin on porridge is delicious!

DH complaining that I want a blanket on the even though I end up hot and sweaty, then ad lobbing his rant into a blues song that started “ma woman’s got too many blankets, I can’t sleep cos she’s too damn hot”

I had to stifle a laugh today, woman calling her daughter -

Chalice, come here and help me.

My normally very girly 12yo DD warned me yesterday ... “sorry that fart will stink, I really had to force it out”

'Take me to paradise, baby'! Has just about finished me off 🤣 is it only me who really wants to know why the op's hubby was miming wanking a frog off? Can you even wank a frog off? I'm curious.

We realised one of the dogs hides her face in the sofa cushions if anyone says ‘Brexit’ .

(My job is Brexit related. We’re not mad obsessives )

I explained to my curious 8yo what flipping the bird meant (and when it's not appropriate). She's spent the past few hours doing to to me after everything I ask her to do, the collapsing into fit of giggles (which send me off too).

Trying to get my wheelchair bound son through the door at LensCrafters to pick up new specs and struggling and an employee came running over to help assist us but I had to throw in "Yep I really need new specs!!!" Bwahaha

I'm still laughing at the cat who needs to get its shit together.

My (bald) father to DD (3):
Do you know what happened to my hair?

DD (very serious): Did it blow away, Grandad?

My father (equally solemn): Yes, it was a very windy day.

DD: will it grow back?

My father: No, I'll be bald forever now.

DD (clutching own hair, with look of horror): Oh no!! I don't want to go to the park today, what if it's windy and my hair blows off??!

I asked my grandson if he wanted me to take him to his swimming lesson this week, he replied “I’ll let you know Nan, I might be be busy, I think I have a meeting” He’s 3!

My friend's 5 year old daughter criticising a little boy's t shirt and saying "ugh, his t shirt offends my eyes" 😂

A friend sent me a photo of the new Peugeot Rifter along with incredulous laughing emojis at the name “rifter”. She had decided it sounded Australian slang for a fart, and could picture the Fosters ad style conversation about “a stonking rifter stinking more than a wallaby’s arsehole”

@AdoraBell

Chalice is a genuine name.

My best friend and I were moaning this morning about our crappy sex lives. She has a DH and I have a DP.
Neither of them seem very interested in sex!

She then added this gem- " he's well hung though, I would say it's as big as a box of Pringles! " we both fell about laughing

You cant keep doing this shit mate, you need to pack it in.

I saw on FB today a video of a prank. A guy told his gf there was a frog in the toilet...she goes in the bathroom to see...

I decided to play the same prank on all 3 of my kids. It was hilarious, I recommend it. This is what they see when they go in the bathroom: