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Original poster

Your views on this inheritance situation, please

85 replies

inheritancewoes · 29/04/2019 15:52

I've name-changed as some friends in real life know my usual username. I do welcome all views on this because I feel I have lost perspective on it slightly and am feeling really hurt and upset, far more than I thought I would.

A few months ago my grandmother told me that she wanted to sell her holiday cottage as she rarely uses it now and give the proceeds of the sale to me and my cousin (we are both only children, no other grandchildren for her to consider, she did not want to share the money between our parents as they will be receiving the bulk of her estate when she dies). The cottage is in a very nice part of the country popular with tourists and worth about £400k. I told her that the money is hers and she should spend it on herself, she insisted that she has enough money (I believe she is quite comfortably off) and she wanted to gift it to me and my cousin with the expectation that she will survive another seven years and we won't have to pay IHT,

I didn't hear anything more about the plan for several months and thought that she might have changed her mind but, again, in February, she brought it up and said that she might sell it but it might be easier to transfer it to me and my cousin, would I be interested in taking it on? I said that it was very generous but, as it is a long way from where I live and I don't want the responsibility of running it as a holiday let, it would be better if she sold it, imo. She asked the same question to my cousin who was also visiting her - I don't see my cousin that often - and she said that she'd like to take it on. Fair enough.

I assumed that my cousin would be buying me out but I have since found out that the entire cottage has been transferred to my cousin and no mention has been made of her buying "my" share. I accept that this is partially my fault as I should have clarified what would happen if one of us wanted to take over the cottage and the other didn't but I can't help feeling hurt that I have been completely written out of this. (I also accept that this is my grandmother's property and she is free to do as she pleases with it but that doesn't diminish the feeling of disappointment.)

In case this is relevant, both my cousin and I are settled with our own homes and children. I am an average earner, my cousin has qualified in a very niche sector and is a high earner. I love my grandmother and don't want to fall out about this gift but it is eating away at me that she has shown such favouritism. Opinions please on how I can broach this with my grandmother without sounding accusatory and/or grasping or whether I should just shut up and put up?

OP posts:
Beachbodynowayready · 29/04/2019 15:55

Imo you looked a gift horse in the mouth.

LJS79 · 29/04/2019 15:55

How did you find out?

MorelikeCalzone · 29/04/2019 15:56

Such a tricky one.. have you spoken to your cousin about it?

PurplePiePete · 29/04/2019 15:58

ouch. You said you didn't want the money and you didn't want the house and she's taken you at your word. I guess she'll even things out in the will.

cushioncovers · 29/04/2019 16:01

Mmm you basically talked yourself out of receiving a share of the cottage by repeatedly suggesting to your grandmother that she should do something else with it every time she mentioned it. Not sure why you would of done that. 🤷🏻‍♀️You and your cousin could of shared responsibility for managing the cottage. You either need to ask your grandmother outright or accept that you've lost out on your half.

kaytee87 · 29/04/2019 16:01

You said you didn't want it and your grandmother took you at your word.

Original poster
inheritancewoes · 29/04/2019 16:05

I suppose I didn't want to come across as wanting to grab my GM's money so I was always careful to say that it was her money and she was equally insistent that she wanted to me and my cousin to have it. I found out because my GM told me when I visited recently that it had all gone through. I hadn't heard anything since she asked whether either of us wanted it and just assumed she was getting valuations and so on (which is what she initially said she would do when she was considering selling it). It was a real shock that it had all been done so quickly.

OP posts:
Original poster
inheritancewoes · 29/04/2019 16:06

Btw, reading back I've left it unclear: I did say at the time that I thought it would be better if she sold and split the money.

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 29/04/2019 16:07

You need to ask her op.

InDubiousBattle · 29/04/2019 16:07

I love my grandmother and don't want to fall out about this gift. I think this is the best attitude to take, don't fall out. I think you probably talked yourself out of the gift by saying she could keep the money, you didn't want the responsibility of the holiday let etc. Your cousin might have been really, really keen whilst you sounded lukewarm. Either way, 'tis done so no point in getting worked up about it now. Your grandmother might have made an adjustment in the rest of her estate for you.

cushioncovers · 29/04/2019 16:07

So has she sold it or has she handed it over to your cousin to run as a holiday let?

LIZS · 29/04/2019 16:10

If gm dies within 7 years its value will revert to the estate for iht purposes. Might she have other assets of similar value she could have designated for you separately?

cushioncovers · 29/04/2019 16:11

Just reread your original post and it seems that your grandmother has transferred the whole cottage over to your cousin.

Original poster
inheritancewoes · 29/04/2019 16:11

Once I had established that she was definitely going to get rid of the cottage herself, I said I'd prefer the money. She has transferred the ownership to my cousin and, as far as I know, there has been no money involved.

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 29/04/2019 16:13

You need to ask your grandmother

PurplePiePete · 29/04/2019 16:13

maybe she still owns it but is letting cousin earn ££ by running it as a holiday let? (land registry will tell you in a few months whether it's actually been transferred)

fecketyfeck21 · 29/04/2019 16:14

there's no certainty that gm would live another 7 years just like anyone else of any age. things could turn round completely.

yearinyearout · 29/04/2019 16:14

I don't have any advice but I can see why you're feeling put out. I think in order to move on and not let it eat away at me I would have to discuss it with her further. Tell her that you didn't realise that taking it on as a going concern was the only option available and see what she says. As other posters have said she may have bequeathed other money to you in her will, but that doesn't help you now unfortunately.

Original poster
inheritancewoes · 29/04/2019 16:15

Afaik, she has no other similar assets other than her own home which she intends to divide between her three children when she dies (DM, DU - cousin's father - and DA who never had children). She is still fit and healthy and has every expectation of living for a long time but, if her health deteriorates, of course her home might be needed to pay care home fees anyway.

OP posts:
NorthEndGal · 29/04/2019 16:18

You need to speak to your grandmother, and be honest about how you feel. From what you have said so far, I can see why she thought you weren't interested

Kedgeree · 29/04/2019 16:20

Oh dear, I don't see how this could be any trickier tbh. I can't imagine how you would open the conversation with your DGM about it. It looks like she's interpreted your conversations as you saying you don't want the property and perhaps she didn't want to sell it so felt her only option was to gift it to your cousin. I think you've shot yourself in the foot here.
Can you ask your cousin exactly how it came about that she alone has the property and what she was told about the thinking behind the transaction?

Iloveacurry · 29/04/2019 16:24

I’d ask her outright. Seems unfair. She should of sold it splitting the monies with you and your cousin, or transferred it to both of you, as that’s what she said she was going to do ...

kitkat6 · 29/04/2019 16:31

Legally it is very simple, the property has been gifted to your cousin and as you declined the gift to be partially yours. The only exception to this is if you believe she does not have the full mental capacity to make these decisions in which the decision could be challenged.

If you are not sure what has happened the most tactile way round this could be to have a conversation with your DGM about Lasting Powers of Attorney if she still owns the holiday cottage and were to have any problems with capacity in the future (accident or illness) then your cousin would not legally be allowed to make any decisions on her behalf without one.

She may be looking to minimise her estate incase of care fees which is why she was looking to gift the cottage.

It would be classed as a Potentially Exempt Transfer (PET) so as you rightly say free of IHT after 7 years.

kaytee87 · 29/04/2019 16:33

Your grandmother probably didn't want the hassle and expense of selling the property.
She's probably also aware that it will likely gain value and be a greater gift by transferring it over.

HeddaGarbled · 29/04/2019 16:34

If she loved her holiday home, it may have been hard for her to let it go. This way, she gets to keep it in the family and can picture family getting enjoyment from it, possible even getting the opportunity to visit herself occasionally.

Plus the thought of emptying it to sell it may have been daunting, both logistically and emotionally.

I agree with PPs, I’m afraid - you talked yourself out of this one.

I don’t think anyone’s done anything wrong but I can understand how you feel.