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Original poster

Driving lesson support thread

168 replies

FannyFeatures · 27/04/2019 12:24

Anyone else out there learning to drive?

I'm 33 and after years of not wanting/needing to drive I'm finally at the stage where it will actually make my life so much easier!

Currently managing quiet roads easily but struggling a bit with roundabouts but it's more confidence than anything else.

Theory test is booked for the middle of May too 🤯

OP posts:
VeniVidiViciTwice · 13/05/2019 15:58

I'm learning, have my test next week. It will be my third attempt and sadly still have zero confidence in myself.

Good luck with the theory, that wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be!

ShadowsInTheDarkness · 14/05/2019 09:00

Fanny I do drive with the DCs in the car yeah. DH explained that as I was learning it was very important they let mummy concentrate and that they could help me by being very quiet. That works most of the time and if they forget and start talking a sharp "SHH!" seems to work. I guess it depends how old yours are and whether they are old enough to stay quiet for long stretches? Mine are 6 & 8 so probably wouldnt work with littlies. I have started to be able to tune them out surprisingly quickly though which I guess is good practice. I'll likely almost always have them in the car when I've passed anyway!

We didnt go out yesterday as DH brought our ducklings home so we were all too busy going "awww". Will try again this eve!

Hi Binting I've had no lessons but will have just a few before the test so I know if I'm doing anything wildly wrong! Have you considered doing an intensive course? That might work out cheaper in the long run than more spread out lessons? Or do you have any friends/family members you could ask to buy a driving lesson in advance and that be instead of a birthday/Christmas present? Think that's how I'm going to fund the few lessons before my test as have a birthday at the end of the summer and family who always like to get gifts even if there's nothing I want!

Original poster
FannyFeatures · 14/05/2019 09:19

Mine are 6 and 13 but they're aim in life seems to be to kill each other and they bicker pretty much constantly, recently we've had to resort to me sitting in the back with youngest and eldest up front to septate them 🙄

Eldest decided before this that he was travel sick in the back but not the front...

OP posts:

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Driving & parking
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 14/05/2019 09:31

When I passed my test my older two were two and three and despite being a pain in the car with dh they were as good as gold with me, with the added bonus of the occasional 'Well done Mummy! Great driving!'

My first journey alone with them, however, was to bring them back from a party at soft play. Scary as hell for me (ring road, lots of busy roundabouts) but I made it safely.
When I got home dh asked how it went.
Dd (aged 3): 'Mummy kept crashing the car! She bumped into two motorbikes and their heads came off!'
She is such a stirrer Hmm

Willowtreecottage · 14/05/2019 09:45

I’d like to join please.
I can drive and hold a license from another country ( not transferable)
So l have to start all over again here!
From theory to test.
I’m out of practice and -47-Grin

Binting · 14/05/2019 10:58

Good idea Shadows. The older I've got the more nervous I have become of learning to drive so my plan was to have a few lessons (maybe 10) to see if it's something I would want to carry on with or not. Unfortunately I'm not in a position to pay upfront for an intensive course, but I could save up for one.

I have found a school that give 10 hours of lessons in a manual car (7 hours at beginning and 3hrs reserved for test) for £129 which might be a good idea, but I think I really want to learn in an automatic.

There is an intensive 40hr course in an automatic for £1,250 inc test fee (automatic lessons with this school are £23 - £25 normally). Does anyone know why the hourly rate for intensive lessons are higher? do they cram more into each hour? I'm not sure what's to stop me just getting 40 lessons at £23ph and having 4 or 6 hours a week?

Original poster
FannyFeatures · 14/05/2019 11:14

£129 for 10 hours is an absolute bargain!

I was terrified of gears and was looking for automatic but decided we can't really afford to replace our perfectly good manual car and it's near impossible to find an instructor who offers it below £30 an hour here so I thought I'd give it a go and honestly, it's just clicked. I was seriously overthinking it so if you could give manual a go at a lower price I'd try!

Not sure about everywhere but I know my instructor says that intensive lessons tend to be full days rather than small blocks, they potentially lose a full days worth of lessons at £5/6 per hour less than block bookings so they need to account for that.

OP posts:
Binting · 14/05/2019 11:54

Thanks Fanny - you're right it is a bargain! it's for complete beginners only.

That makes sense about the intensive courses being full days. I think I should maybe try a few lessons first, see if being older means I'm a nervous driver or a have a quiet confidence and go from there. I did have a couple of lessons in my 20's and just couldn't get the gear stuff and pedals right. I didn't stop because of that though - I told my instructor that I was moving to London and he said I might as well stop lessons as "it's a whole different ballgame down there...". Once in London of course there was no need to drive.

Binting · 14/05/2019 11:58

With the government being more focused on climate change and petrol and diesel cars in particular, I wonder if manual cars will be around much longer (although I don't see how we can just get rid of vehicles that use petrol and diesel?)

Not being a driver I'm not sure if that's a daft comment or not?

Original poster
FannyFeatures · 14/05/2019 15:45

Passed my theory :o

Now to focus on getting the actual moving and manoeuvring of the car right haha

OP posts:
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 14/05/2019 17:40

Congratulations, Fannyfeatures!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 14/05/2019 17:43

Binting, I think manual are more efficient than automatic - though not by as much as they used to be, as automatics have improved greatly.

Binting · 14/05/2019 20:12

Well done Fanny!

BackInTime · 14/05/2019 20:56

Another full license holder who gave up due to nerves and lack of confidence after passing my test 13 years ago. Now giving it another go. So encouraging to hear all your experiences and glad that I am not the only nervous wreck behind the wheel.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 15/05/2019 09:34

People who have already passed and need to get comfortable with driving, do you have a target you are working towards?

My initial one is to drive (on my own) to my friend's house. She only lives a few miles away but I would have to go on the dual carriageway.
After that, I am going away in late June and I want to drive myself. It's 4 hours away though... And there's no point if I am so scared I spend the whole trip worrying about driving back. So I will have to do quite a bit before then.

GripsRus · 15/05/2019 10:48

Excellent, Fanny! Star

Countess, I do have a target. I have several actually, baby steps and all that. My first target is to be able to calm the fuck down enough to drive to the nearest big roundabout, approx 3.5 miles away, travel all the way round and straight back home without getting flustered.

My next step is to be able to calmly drive to DC's High school, in case I ever need to. It's slightly closer than the roundabout but a different route. There's lots more roads, some really narrow, includes a short distance on dual carriageway, but it's always a super busy route so it's more of a challenge.

There's a few other places as well.

Finally, if I manage to get a grip and all goes smoothly, then I hope to take a short trip on the motorway, as I have never actually driven on one. Still a way off yet.

BackInTime · 15/05/2019 16:32

@Countess

Main aim is to feel confident and not just drive around in blind terror all the time. Had a really bad day yesterday with DH which has knocked me back a bit. He seems to think because I have a full licence I should be able to drive Confused

Anyone else feel ashamed of not driving or being made to feel embarrassed about it by others?

GripsRus · 15/05/2019 16:49

Absolutely Back, fortunately H appears to be understanding. Although I suspect that in reality he just doesn't want to share the car, which of course he'll have to when I can pull my shit together. Grin

However, everyone, and I mean everyone, seems unable to grasp that I'm struggling. DM even went as far as to lecture me about it, including "it's your own fault for leaving it so long" and "What on earth are you scared of? I have NEVER been nervous, EVER."

Oh well, good for you. Hmm

Honestly, I have never felt so ridiculous and the incredulous negativity from folk seems to make it worse, so I try to avoid the subject. Thing is, we're getting a new car in a few days, which seems to have amplified everyone's sudden input.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 15/05/2019 16:50

GripsRus, that sounds like an excellent set of targets. Have you done the drives with someone else and just need to do them on your own?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 15/05/2019 16:52

I have never had anyone deliberately make me feel bad but yes I am embarrassed.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 15/05/2019 16:59

Can totally relate to blind terror. It is what I felt all the time when I was driving on my own after passing my test. Since restarting last week I haven't felt anything like it but I haven't been out alone.
I am really glad I went for the refresher lessons/ taking things slowly approach. I am absolutely determined not to be pushed into doing anything before I am ready this time. There will be no blind terror. I will have to go somewhere on my own soon but will think it through first and do a short easy drive that I have already done with dh or in a lesson.

BackInTime · 15/05/2019 17:08

I think that maybe those who learned quite a while ago maybe forget what it was like. Also the roads were probably not as busy or complicated as today, certainly where I live is more built up and roads are more complicated than when I first had lessons. Even going to the quieter roads that I used to practice with DH are now an obstacle course of roundabouts, cyclists, motorbikes, pedestrians, kids on scooters and buses.

BackInTime · 15/05/2019 17:12

@TheCountess Good advice re taking things slowly.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 16/05/2019 09:00

I agree, Backintime.
I live in North Yorkshire where there is relatively light traffic most of the time and it is so much easier than places where it's heavy.
The roads around town involve more and more stuff to notice all the time: traffic calming, frequent speed limit changes, as well as being simply much more busy.
This makes it easier to drive safely but it means an awful lot to take in. We have several advantages in safety terms from drivers in the past (better brakes, not so many children playing football in the road) but we are expected to reach a higher standard. This is fine and it is why the number of pedestrians killed has gone down so much, but it does make passing your test more of a challenge.

GripsRus · 16/05/2019 15:51

No I haven't managed the journeys at all yet countess. Only part way, then turned back.

The thing is, I've always felt more anxious when travelling with someone. Although, after I passed my test, I still shit myself the few times I drove alone but it was nothing in comparison to having a passenger.

At the minute I've been driving with someone. Idk if I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and practice on my own, then build up to passengers once I've got my confidence.

You're both right though re the roads. A lot of the roads around here have been altered since I last drove. Added lanes, traffic lights etc. And yes, they do appear to be a hell of a lot busier.