I'm so ashamed about what I'm about to say

[soashamedmum]

I'm fully prepared to be flamed by what I'm going to say as I know there are plenty of people that would do anything for a child but can't have them. I was one of them. Now any time away from them feels like a relief. Being a mum shouldn't feel like that and i hate myself for feeling like that so why do I?

I've got 3 very young children whose needs are all so different but I struggle to meet them all no matter how hard I try.

They all, especially the older 2, are so trying and testing. They do not listen. They fight. They ignore me no matter what I say. I make things fun for them and turn things into a game but any tactics I try fail. I then end up having to shout at them to do things and say things like "why can you not just listen. I've asked you so many times and now you're making mummy shout". I know that's totally inappropriate and I shouldn't say those things but I just get so angry by the
End of the day that I end up saying things I shouldn't. I always feel so guilty and angry at myself for getting to this point.

I don't know, maybe it's me that's not patient enough. May be I'm doing something wrong and restricting them too much. Or maybe I'm just a shit mum. And no matter how much I want to be a good mum to my kids, I just can't be. It's just so overwhelming.

For context I do get some support from my mum and my DH when they can but I'm alone with them for the majority of the day.

My kids are my world and I love them to bits. And when I am away from them I do miss them.

I feel like the worst mum whose kids are uncontrollable. They don't know how to sit and play nicely. Instead they are just running around throwing toys making a mess with toys they don't play with.

How do people find the time to manage every day things and play with their kids?

I just feel like I'm constantly feeding and cleaning their mess up all day and get nothing else done.

Sorry it's all a ramble. I'm just so tired and I can't think properly right now. I don't know what to do to make things better and I don't even know why I'm posting really other than to rant

I love my children dearly but do I always like them? No!!
The "perfect" family doesn't exist because we all have kids who are sometimes pickles, my 3 are older than yours but they are forever fighting, and say the most horrid things to each other.
Don't beat yourself up because we have all felt the same at one point, sounds like you need a break.
Big hugs xx

“Sockless fugitive”

That’s made me laugh @MitziK but in seriousness you e written what I suspected is the only way to survive with a brace of under 5s.

@soundslikeaduck how the blazes did you manage swimming/playground with three so little? Even with my two last weekend in the playground was a nightmare with my 3yo having lost her teddy and 18mo climbing the wrong way up slides and then falling off

Ffs that was meant for a different thread 🤣 sorry

I couldn’t not post after reading OP. Try to be easier on yourself- you are doing an amazing job that anyone would find hard!
I felt like this constantly but it does get easier.
Just some small pieces of advice that may/may not be helpful:

1. Take help and ask for help whenever you can- talk to your husband and family about how much you love your children but how hard you are finding it- it really does help to talk and doesn’t make you a failure.
2. Schedule some time to have “me” time- something to look forward to weekly- even for 30mins to an hour.
3. Find out about homestart in your area.
4. Make a timetable- always helped me and put the day in- even if you don’t stick to it, it can give you ideas when frazzled(it may just be 10mins book time, 10 mins play by yourselves, 10 mins TV etc)
5. Try to get out if possible- do you have a double buggy/buggy board for the 3 yr old- a slow walk and some fresh air calms everyone.
6. Don’t feel like you have to step in for every argument/ bicker - sometimes they need to sort it out themselves if you can try to switch off (as long as no one is being hurt!)
7. Get a playpen- everyone can have some “alone” time in it, playing with toys and books- or the 2 and 1 year old can go into it while the 3 year old has alone time.
8. No pens! Unless they are supervised at a table.
9. Don’t worry about the mess in the house!

10. Try to get out to free baby/toddler classes- talking to other parents, you will realise you are not alone. Things will get better and you will realise that you have done a great job as they get older, you will wonder why you beat yourself up about it and be able to look back and laugh about some of the things that drove you mad!

If you all can do it then so can I!
Thanks so much for the encouragement you all have been showing.

I think also because it is such a faff to get out the house with them all I just lose the will to go out and end up staying in

Yes, there is the two hours of getting ready for a ten minute walk ... It's worth it. Have you got a garden? Park nearby? Now summers coming it will be easier not being cooped up indoors!

I think yours is the situation the phrase 'Everyone fed; no one dead' was coined for.