I am fucking furious and Hurt by this friend

[NcedForThis]

I’ve been going through a hard time with my mental health and have an appointment this week with the GP to discuss this and the possibility of some anti-depressants.

A few friends know this and have all, I thought, been very supportive and kind.

I’m a nanny, I haven’t allowed this to impact my job and haven’t made any decisions on whether or not to tell the parents I work for.

One friend (also a nanny who has done the odd babysitting gig for my bosses) bumped into them today and has told them everything.

Her reasoning is that as a parent herself, she would want to know if her nanny was on medication for something that could mean the nanny wouldn’t look after the children properly.

I found this out after receiving a text from MumBoss saying “we bumped into X today and she told us of all the issues you’re working through, let us know if we can do anything to support you. We’ll discuss it tomorrow.”.

This wasn’t her fucking business to tell, this had fucking nothing to do with her

I am so angry, hurt and humiliated and want nothing more then to tell everyone the shit I know about her. Which I won’t. But what the fuck do I do now. I’m so upset by this

That’s so shitty of her

I’d be looking for a new job, if I were you.

Just to clarify, I think it would have been kind of them to offer, but to insist that overtime is done by someone else implies they have doubts in your abilities. Which is not kind of them and undeserved. Who the heck gossips to everyone about someone else's medical problems though? What a bitch!

Absolute bitch, have nothing more to do with her. Your employer sounds nice, though, good luck with your future.

I'm really disappointed in your employer

Sounds like your employer is now discriminating against you. Sorry OP.

Would this not be covered by the Equalities Act? If they are paying you and you have you a contract etc wouldn't it come under discrimination against people with mentql health "issues"?

I am sorry OP. Stay calm and professional. And stick to procedure. What a bitch.

This is terrible of your "friend" what a bitch.

Don't forget that employers have a duty of care and they could equally be at fault if they aren't seen to take into consideration the health and well being of an employee.

By not asking the OP to do overtime it could be argued they are erring on the side of caution so as not to overwhelm someone who they are now aware has some personal issues to deal with.

This post could just as easily have been written as "Have some MH issues at the moment and bloody employers are still demanding I do overtime".

These issues are tricky.

Your "friend" is the one who is out of order here and should not have divulged confidential personal information to your employer without your consent. She is clearly not your friend at all.

Margo makes a good point.

Your employers should be giving you the choice of whether you want the over time or not, but I think they are trying not to add to your burden right now. I would see it as well intentioned.

There is also the chance - and please don't react badly to this - that your employers had noticed that you weren't quite on top form or seemed more stressed or tired than normal. They would not have known why. If I were your employer finding this out I would be relieved that it wasn't because you hated your job or were finding my children unbearably exhausting, while simultaneously being very concerned for you and wondering what I could do to help and support you.

I definitely don't htink you need to be looking for another job. If working overtime would actually help you - e.g. if money is a stress point - then by all means ask for those hours, but I think they're not asking you so you don't feel you have to do it.