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Original poster

Saw a friend's 13yr old dealing weed, what to do? Nothing, I guess?

81 replies

SolitudeAtAltitude · 22/04/2019 16:50

Am I just a silly pearl clutcher? Bit unsure. I need advice.

Saw a friend (acquaintance) son (13, yr 9) in the local city park today, lots of teens were hanging around in groups. Lots of little groups passing around (what looked like) a spliff. Some kids lolling about, one girl lying face down in the mud, crying. I went up to her and asked if she was ok but her friends scooted over and pulled her away.

So this kid I know was going around with a little cross body bag, making some kind of transaction, after which the little group would light a (what looked like a) spliff. Could they just be pretending?

It was like a cbbc version of the Wire Shock Or do they just pretend at this age? 13 seems so young.

I know this kid's mum, but not very well. He's at my DS school.

Just wondering if I should do anything? I was a bit shocked as all these kids are only 13-14

Was thinking of telling the school, but it's not a school issue, is it?

Worried about this kid and who supplied him, what sort of people he's dealing with. He's from a very smart MC family...

Sort of stumped.

Anyone got any experience of this kind of thing? Also saw a friends' daughter smoking weed and acting very spaced out (lolling about, crying, falling about, she looked all over the place, weirdly she did not recognise me when I walked by) she's 14.

My instinct tells me not to tell the parents as they would hate me. And they might even accuse me of lying or not believe me.

Right? Confused is this just normal teen stuff now?

OP posts:
00100001 · 22/04/2019 16:53

Tell the school.

sleepismysuperpower1 · 22/04/2019 16:53

I would tell the parents- if not about the dealer then definitely about the girl you saw who had taken it. I would want to know

Oblomov19 · 22/04/2019 16:54

Tell the parent. It's not a school issue.

Brashtweedyimpertinence · 22/04/2019 16:54

Would you want to know if it was your 13 yo?

Easterbunnynearlyhere · 22/04/2019 16:55

I reported my own ds for dealing drugs.
He thanked me a year later.

Original poster
SolitudeAtAltitude · 22/04/2019 16:59

The parent is a bit scary

A larger than life, big personality alpha mum. I imagine she might not believe me (or worse, accusing me of false accusations).

The parent of the girl sort of knows, she is depressed and not in a good place, this would upset her massively.

Ah fuck Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
SolitudeAtAltitude · 22/04/2019 17:00

I know both the mums well enough to have their number, iyswim

OP posts:
Original poster
SolitudeAtAltitude · 22/04/2019 17:01

Easterbunnynearlyhere, reported where, police? How did that work out?

OP posts:
ShesABelter · 22/04/2019 17:02

I have a 14 year old and would absolutely want to know this.

00100001 · 22/04/2019 17:03

So.... Tell the school.

If they buy is troubled,they will know a lot more about what is going in, and you are giving another piece of the puzzle.

Just tell the school if you're at all worried.

TerryWogansWilly · 22/04/2019 17:04

You absolutely need to the girl's mum fir her sake. It may make the mother sad but she can't deal effectively if she doesnt know what she is dealing with.

As for the idiot selling drugs I'd go to school or call the non emergency police number ask what they recommend. She doesn't sound the sort of person who will take on board what you have to say. Or speak to school they will be interested.

Penguinpandarabbit · 22/04/2019 17:04

I would report via school and school should refer on if needed.

sleepismysuperpower1 · 22/04/2019 17:05

you could contact release, who is a charity that deal with drug related questions. they will be able to advise you what to do as they have had this situation arise before. their number is 0845 4500 215.

LittleBearPad · 22/04/2019 17:05

Yes you tell the parents.

zombee · 22/04/2019 17:06

Don't tell the school. I understand why people would say to, but smoking weed is such a normal thing to do at 13 and by telling the school you're risking messing up their school career. They could be expelled and not accepted into any other good school and instead sent to learning centres where really poorly behaved children are.
And yes they should have thought of the consequences blah blah blah but like I said it's now normal for 13 year olds to smoke.
Tell your friend/acquaintance if necessary because of the girl having a bad reaction but I think some reactions are so ott

TerryWogansWilly · 22/04/2019 17:09

^instead sent to learning centres where really poorly behaved children are.
And yes they should have thought of the^
Dealing drugs is really poor behaviour. Even when naice middle class kids do it.

TeenTimesTwo · 22/04/2019 17:09

it's now normal for 13 year olds to smoke

I really don't think it is.

AuntMarch · 22/04/2019 17:10

If children are being targeted by drug dealers it's a safe guarding issue and I would make the school aware of your concerns.

It really would be a judgement call depending on the parents as to whether I would tell them. I've known of kids who sell weed to their friends and it's their parents they get it from in the first place. I've also known of kids whose parents take punishment to the extreme... I wouldn't tell either of those families!

LittleBearPad · 22/04/2019 17:10

but like I said it's now normal for 13 year olds to smoke.

It really isn’t.

MrsBlondie · 22/04/2019 17:13

Its not normal for 13 year olds to smoke weed.

Said as a mother of a 13 year old. Id want to know too.

AuntMarch · 22/04/2019 17:13

Also, class doesn't come into it with drugs. It's just more noticeable that at the bottom of the chain of command, the people you see doing the street dealing, are more of a "stereotype". It's the vulnerable people - kids, addicts, people living in poverty - that end up taking the risks to fund their own supply while the more "middle class" appearing people take the profit.

Aragog · 22/04/2019 17:13

I would definitely want to know.
And at least telling a parent they've the chance to do something about it.

We've just heard that they've had a teen in DD's old school have had an issue with Tim his last term. Sixth former passing weed to younger kids in year 9/10. Dd used to know the sixth former really well - they were really good friends until a couple of years ago. She's just been excluded from the school in the middle of year 12 as a result of being caught. She's apparently waiting to hear if the police will take it further, as they were called into school.

Maybe if someone had seen it earlier and warned her parents, they could have dealt with it before it got to this stage.

00100001 · 22/04/2019 17:14

zombee

What world do you live in where it's normal for 13 year olds to smoke and do drugs??

Original poster
SolitudeAtAltitude · 22/04/2019 17:14

Thanks for the feedback and thoughts guys, I see there isn't a clear answer.

It is not really a school issue as it happened outside school hours and outside the school.

It struck me that nobody was drinking alcohol (too hard to get now?) so I was wondering if this is now what young teens do instead, and that I am just out of touch!

OP posts:
bringbacksideburns · 22/04/2019 17:15

Was the friend's child with the drug dealer? Or was this a separate time?

I'd tell the friend. Mention what the boy was doing and let her deal with it.
It sounds like it could be Spice.