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Original poster

Saw a friend's 13yr old dealing weed, what to do? Nothing, I guess?

81 replies

SolitudeAtAltitude · 22/04/2019 16:50

Am I just a silly pearl clutcher? Bit unsure. I need advice.

Saw a friend (acquaintance) son (13, yr 9) in the local city park today, lots of teens were hanging around in groups. Lots of little groups passing around (what looked like) a spliff. Some kids lolling about, one girl lying face down in the mud, crying. I went up to her and asked if she was ok but her friends scooted over and pulled her away.

So this kid I know was going around with a little cross body bag, making some kind of transaction, after which the little group would light a (what looked like a) spliff. Could they just be pretending?

It was like a cbbc version of the Wire Shock Or do they just pretend at this age? 13 seems so young.

I know this kid's mum, but not very well. He's at my DS school.

Just wondering if I should do anything? I was a bit shocked as all these kids are only 13-14

Was thinking of telling the school, but it's not a school issue, is it?

Worried about this kid and who supplied him, what sort of people he's dealing with. He's from a very smart MC family...

Sort of stumped.

Anyone got any experience of this kind of thing? Also saw a friends' daughter smoking weed and acting very spaced out (lolling about, crying, falling about, she looked all over the place, weirdly she did not recognise me when I walked by) she's 14.

My instinct tells me not to tell the parents as they would hate me. And they might even accuse me of lying or not believe me.

Right? Confused is this just normal teen stuff now?

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 22/04/2019 18:50

@Fazackerley - I'd say it 5 kids out of a class of 25, who regularly take drugs. Not the majority, but enough for it to be normalised.

My 15yo is in Y11, and there being a spliff at 16th birthday parties is normal, apparently.

LynetteScavo · 22/04/2019 18:51

Diwali = speak Confused

Original poster
SolitudeAtAltitude · 22/04/2019 19:00

Thanks pepperpot99 I think you are right

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 22/04/2019 19:01

Sadly, where I live drugs have been normalised.

Happily, being gay has been normalised.

I estimate there are more Y9s who have taken an illegal drug than are gay.

I've seen a dramatic shift in the past few years in this area, and we've always had a reputation for drugs.

Bingowingslikeashieldofsteel · 22/04/2019 19:19

Speak to the police - it could well help as part of their County Lines investigations which this could well be part of. Young 'clean' kids are often used to finalise deals (ie sell to peers) or to traffick drugs on behalf of organised gangs. If they're caught then there's nothing on them to link them to the gangs and they're considered collateral damage.

Call 101 and report what you saw and any names you know. Alternatively do contact the school if you don't want to do that - they will pass information on to the police if necessary and it could well form part of a bigger picture for them.

Unfortunately 13 year olds (and younger) in my direct experience do take, buy and sell drugs. It's shit.

Persimmonn · 22/04/2019 19:22

I can’t believe you’re even asking this. If you don’t want to tell the parents, then tell the school. You need to tell someone, this will ruin their lives.

Fazackerley · 22/04/2019 19:25

None of the pps have said anything that makes me think taking drugs is normal in year 8.

FiremanKing · 22/04/2019 19:27

I would not like him influencing other children his age.

Children of that age might not approach or speak to an adult or much older teen but they might go one of their peers.

I’d tell the police and social services as he might be at risk from other older drug dealers.

youarenotkiddingme · 22/04/2019 19:30

It's now normal for 13 yo to smoke

It honestly isn't.

The only parents of teens I've ever heard say this are parents of teens who smoke it.

Imo norm would be over 50% of any school school year for each year group. In most schools that's over 500 pupils in total smoking weed!

I think the answer lies in how you think parents will react.

I agree to report to school if parents won't want to hear or react badly. At least then you've given someone who has safeguarding duties and some loco parentis the information and you've done what you can.

Neolara · 22/04/2019 19:44

Definitely report to school as a safeguarding issue. The whole county lines stuff is horrific. Gangs target young, vulnerable kids and get them selling drugs. It'sinked to knife crime, prostitution and all sorts of really horrible stuff. Just Google cuckooing. No one in their right minds would want their kids mixed up in this. It can be really, properly dangerous.

BurnedToast · 22/04/2019 19:49

Tell the school, they treat this as a safeguarding issue.

I am a bit flabbergasted you need to ask to be honest. And even more shocked at some of the replies. Of course its a school issue, of course it should be reported and no its not normal for a 13 year old to be smoking a drug. What planet are some of you on?!?!

Jamhandprints · 22/04/2019 19:56

Yes, of course you should tell someone that their children are harming others and themselves. Tell the school and the parents. I'd want to know if it was mine. If they don't want to know that's on them.

beebreath · 22/04/2019 20:01

This child is at risk of criminal exploitation. In fact is already being exploited - he's not growing the cannabis himself is he !

Google your local police force and 'County Lines '. Should be a number you can call or if not make a referral yourself to children's services. No issue either to speak with school.

Original poster
SolitudeAtAltitude · 22/04/2019 20:05

Burnedtoast and Neolara, but it happened outside school, so not really a school issue, right?

Poor teachers have enough on their plates, I reckon

OP posts:
Original poster
SolitudeAtAltitude · 22/04/2019 20:07

Beebreath (my not so favourite yoga breathing exercise Grin) yes that line of thinking made me question my initial leave-well-be attitude...

OP posts:
Punxsutawney · 22/04/2019 20:10

My Ds attends a well respected state grammar school. 13 children were permanently excluded last term for having or smoking cannabis on the school site. The age range is from year 13 down to year 9. His school says they don't have a drug problem, I disagree.

Fazackerley · 22/04/2019 20:14

Yes I think we know that some teenagers do take drugs but it isn't NORMAL!

ArabellaDoreenFig · 22/04/2019 20:16

SolitudeAtAltitude
There is a person in school whose role involves dealing with safeguarding reports (Designated Safeguarding Lead) it is part of their job to deal with situations like this, please don’t think the school won’t be interested- safeguarding failures have taught us that it’s vital that agencies (ie parents, schools, NHS, SS etc) work together and the key to that is sharing information- in short, if no one knows then no one can help.

beebreath · 22/04/2019 20:22

So if someone thought a 13 yr old was being sexually exploited / abused then there would be little debate about reporting it.

Here we have a 13 yr old who is involved in criminal activity and most likely on the start of a journey of being criminal exploited. Both are major safeguarding concerns which should be reported to

Police or
School or
Local children's services / MASH

Neolara · 22/04/2019 20:29

Doesn't matter if you saw it happen outside of school. The child is at risk and needs to be protected. School can refer onto appropriate services. Also, it's highly likely that the kid is dealing inside as well as outside school.

Gibble1 · 22/04/2019 20:30

This type of scenario was brought up in my recent safeguarding update. As PPs have said, google “County Lines”.
Young (often white as they are less likely to arouse suspicion) people are set up with burner phones and drugs. Once they have been selling them for a little while, they will be robbed so they then owe thousands of pounds to the dealer and are tied to them for ever (or a significant amount of time anyway).
Report this to the police or to the school safeguarding lead at your very first opportunity to try and save this child before he is trapped.

Kez200 · 22/04/2019 20:35

Advise the school. Then leave it.

I dont think smoking it at 13 is normal either however, this isnt smoking, its dealing. A much bigger issue as there will be someone supplying this youngster and that is a BIG issue.

Kez200 · 22/04/2019 20:39

Its not so much that its a "school issue" in that he was on the premises. More that it needs reporting to those with the right abilities, training and access to reporting methods. School is one of those. Police another.

wigglesniggles · 22/04/2019 20:40

It's hard but I think you have to put aside the fact you know what the parents are like, and just report what you saw. It looked like there was some dealing going on and one of them looked out of it. At the very least tell the local youth service.

Lovestruk · 22/04/2019 20:47

Hi SolitudeAtAltitude I'd be more concerned about the the girl lying face down Sad as for the parents are you afraid of them? I know when I was a kid we were little bastards and i imagine there's some knocking around these days. I don't really know who you would call, where do you live?

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