Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

School gate fights between parents

82 replies

Hattifnatt88 · 21/04/2019 09:52

I've been speaking to some friends of mine in a facebook group with people around England. (not just "online friends").

It seems quite a lot of them have seen actual physical fights and arguments between mothers? In one case, the police were called!

Is this common place? I'm new to this, and not seen it in my son's school.

OP posts:
TreadingThePrimrosePath · 21/04/2019 10:01

No it’s not common and tends to be very localised.
In 35 years of teaching primary, I’ve seen half a dozen physical fights. Far more screeching and name-calling, but again, localised to specific schools. So some have them fairly regularly, others never.

TanMateix · 21/04/2019 10:03

It depends on the school’s demographics, I would say. Absolutely unthinkable in some schools pretty commonplace in others.

wittyusermane · 21/04/2019 10:04

I have never seen this Confused

intensiveeveline · 21/04/2019 10:05

Nothing like parents setting a good example Shock

Kedgeree · 21/04/2019 10:09

Don't know about mothers at the school gates, but years ago when DS1 was at a small, expensive prep school the dads organised a stag charity fundraising boxing night. Black tie dinner, speaker, the works. Drink was taken and a brawl ensued involving pretty much all the men in attendance. It was shrugged off as "one of those things". Hmm

BarbRoyle · 21/04/2019 10:09

Daily Fail article in the making??

Russell19 · 21/04/2019 10:11

I have seen it happen once at the classroom doors as children were leaving my classroom. I got all the children back inside and shut the door. It was common at this school. I left after 6 months.

RumCustard · 21/04/2019 10:12

It's not common, but it's not unheard of! It is quite possibly an issue between the children that the parents who can't negotiate calmly then take over and make it ten times worse.

Persimmonn · 21/04/2019 10:16

I’ve never seen it myself but have been told of fisticuffs at the school gates at other schools nearby. At another school I was told by an ex staff member that they had police men at the gates every morning for a few months due to drug problems and fights. A number of parents were banned from school grounds. The school is about 1 mile from us, but it’s a less affluent area.

Our school is very passive aggressive; people stew over things, make smiley remarks to show disapproval and bitch behind people’s backs but it’s all smiles, butterflies and daisies at the gates 😂😆

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 21/04/2019 10:20

In my experience parents of younger dc tend to be over involved in their dc’s lives within school.
I’ve had parents volunteer in my class to observe the children and decide who’s ‘good’ etc I’ve also caught a parent checking the dc’s tray to see what reading group other children are on.
As a result of this I stopped allowing parents to volunteer in their own child’s class- it’s quite amazing that practically everyone stopped volunteering.
It’s really quite alarming to observe quite reasonable people behave terribly as a result of parental anxiety.

I’d quite like it if all parents dropped off at the gate and didn’t enter the school at all 🤷‍♀️

BrokenWing · 21/04/2019 10:21

Ds's school has a very mixed intake. Never seen parents in a physical or verbal fight at school.

formerbabe · 21/04/2019 10:23

Never seen this. Would definitely make the school run more interesting I s'pose.

Ilovelala · 21/04/2019 10:25

I have seen one fist fight and one aggressive argument, the school was not great and I moved her to a better one the following week. I don't think it's common though.

Honeytothebee · 21/04/2019 10:26

Never seen it at my daughters school, however the school down the Road I have. Many times I have walked home and all you can hear is arguing, swearing and all sorts. Usually about who has slept with who!! (typical estate school) Hmm

RebeccaWrongDaily · 21/04/2019 10:27

Yes, mainly about cars/parking.

I was at a school families meal last night (think BBQ of people who are parents of kids at same school, so not 'friends') the stuff that has been going on between the kids and then the parents (all of which I have missed) has been unreal.

Fighting, Going to each others homes to 'sort things out', Dad's squaring up to each other, going into the head about perceived slights - and whatsapp groups seem to be an abyss of wrong, with parents kicking off right left and centre. It's unbelievable.

Bellybootcut · 21/04/2019 10:28

Not seen a fight but a few years ago an elderly chap who was fed up to the back teeth of a school parent parking her pick up truck halfway across his drive turned his hose pipe on her! It ended up with him being prosecuted. He had asked her nicely a few times but she always gave him a gobful. Felt a bit sorry for him actually.

WorraLiberty · 21/04/2019 10:28

I've seen 4 locally, over about 25 years and heard of another 2 that I didn't witness.

Why would you think it might be common place though?

chipsnmayo · 21/04/2019 10:49

I don't think its that common and my DD went to school in a pretty poor area (lots of parents on the benefits etc)

However I have seen it, no major catfights but a few strong heated arguments over the years. Most significant one was over a school play! Back stage behind the curtains two mothers arguing over their DD's roles...(I cant remember exactly what happened - over a decade ago).

chipsnmayo · 21/04/2019 10:51

(typical estate school)

Snobbery at its finest.

Yeah my DD may have gone to an estate school but at least there were not any stuck up parents.

AppleKatie · 21/04/2019 10:53

I don’t think it’s a ‘mother’s at the school gate’ thing. —fuck off DM—

Just wherever you get large groups of human beings you occasionally get physical fights. Some demographics make it statistically more likely than others.

Ewitsahooman · 21/04/2019 10:53

typical estate school

How to spot the snob...

Catchingbentcoppers · 21/04/2019 10:55

(typical estate school)

Sorry, but that's absolute bollocks. My DS went to a small 'middle class' village school and the Head actually sent a letter home to parents saying that the behaviour of some parents was being monitored and any more issues would result in any parents involved not being allowed on the school premises. This was after a particularly unpleasant incident in the playground - between two parents. Unbelievable.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 21/04/2019 10:56

Not school gate fights, but I have witnessed parking bust ups. There was one right outside the school gates once at pick-up time - pretty unpleasant. (In a naice area no less)

Original poster
Hattifnatt88 · 21/04/2019 10:57

From the comments on here it does seem not so unusual! By the way I'm not Daily Mail Blush

Just being curious!

OP posts:
HurryUpThisSmileIsKillingMe · 21/04/2019 11:16

Also think utter bollocks re estate school comment. Seen this twice. Once in lovely leafy middle class Surrey while picking my two up. Local state primary. Proper fisticuffs between two vair proper mummies. Police called.

Second time, picking DNs up from prep school in 'naice' zone 4 area. Two mummies again, nothing to do with issues between children but over a man. I was only non-staff witness. Had to give a statement. Neither woman wanted to take it further but school were fuming. It was the scariest brawl I've ever seen.