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Original poster

Need to pull myself together for the children

676 replies

Simonfromharlow · 20/04/2019 13:55

My husband left me 10 days ago. I feel so down. I'm being a shit mum to my kids as I can't pull myself together. This is so hard. I don't know how to cope.

OP posts:
Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 16/05/2019 22:45

Thank you for taking the time to respond!

OP posts:
EffYouSeeKaye · 17/05/2019 06:10

Ooh that sounds positive! Best of luck for Saturday! Sorry to sound trite but you are absolutely smashing this - every step forward you take is making him look more and more like the loser he is. Don’t worry about missing him, I think you’ll be thanking him for setting you free soon enough. Flowers

Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 17/05/2019 08:19

😊😘

OP posts:
Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 17/05/2019 08:29

I'm still feeling a bit sad today but it's that time of the month plus I'm tired and then which makes all my feelings about 100 times amplified. It's also his weekend with the kids and he's picking them up tonight. it really irks me how excited they are. I don't begrudge them the excitement but I do begrudge Him their excitement if you know what I mean.

I've got a date with a bottle of Prosecco and a film in bed tonight!

OP posts:
Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 17/05/2019 08:30

I lost so much weight which is a great side effect of this. As was much needed. I'm eating properly now and it's still coming off. I'm lightest I've been in years and gone down 2 stone numbers!

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MarniLou · 17/05/2019 08:53

If losing weight is a bonus, then embrace it! Time for some new, classy, fabulous clothing. to wear when he pick up/drops off the kids.
Enjoy looking after you!

milksoffagain · 17/05/2019 12:13

I'm afraid you will go through those really-missing-him times but every time you do you're closer to the other side. It's a grieving process and if you avoid it... well, you can't avoid it, it will come back to bite you on the bottom one way or another. What is it they say? when going through hell, keep going! The person you are grieving for is gone in every sense; my kids talk about Old Dad and New Dad, and Old Dad is the one we all miss. New Dad they describe as an Asshole. Sad for him, but much sadder for them. However badly you might feel at any time, it is ONLY TEMPORARY.

Cant believe how well you're doing!! Forging ahead with the job interviews! (I was still a soggy mess at your stage) . You're amazing!

And theres a lot to be said for the breakup diet isn't there?! I kept trailing off to WW meetings but felt like a complete fraud as they gasped and oohed and ahhed that I had lost half a stone in a week... as would any one of them who'd also lost their marbles and thought that remembering to eat a banana and 6 almonds (only) per day was 'looking after themselves'!!!!! Husband looked at me some time later and said "I hope you didn't lose all that weight for me?" whilst looking rather appalled at the thought! Err, NO, actually its for me. They think everything is about them!!!

Thinking of you x

Paddy1234 · 17/05/2019 13:47

Nothing wrong with the break up diet - there has to be some bonus! Mind you keep an eye and try and feed your body as you still need energy
❤️

Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 17/05/2019 13:51

I am eating much better now don't worry!! Initially I went days barely eating! But I want to keep the weight off so I'm just making sure to eat healthy and not snack! I think seeing the initial big drop really spurred me on!!

For my interview I wore a blouse I'd shoved to the back of my wardrobe as I couldn't do it up at the bottom! Now it's baggy!!

I'm feeling a little better now than I was this morning. Would like the sunshine back though! Haha

I'm really looking forward to having my bed to myself tonight (usually joined by one or both of the kids in the night) and having a lie in tomorrow! I'm forcing myself to grab onto the positive aspects of the situation!

OP posts:
Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 17/05/2019 17:19

I got offered the job from today's interview and took it!!!

OP posts:
milksoffagain · 17/05/2019 17:53

Well done!!!!!!!!

Paddy1234 · 17/05/2019 18:04

Yeah! Well done you ❤️
Have a nice glass of wine tonight X

Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 17/05/2019 18:16

Thank you!! Ex h has the kids so I'm going to stay with my friend and have a drink!

OP posts:
Paddy1234 · 17/05/2019 19:19

More than one I hope - I love this thread hearing how you get on, on a daily basis. I can't believe how much you have achieved ❤️

EffYouSeeKaye · 17/05/2019 19:52

Fantastic!! Happy Friday to you! 🥂

Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 18/05/2019 08:09

Hate when he comes to collect the children and I see him. Stirs up all the feelings.

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stucknoue · 18/05/2019 08:22

Great news. Wish just one of the jobs I applied for would even acknowledge my applicationConfused hope handover goes ok

Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 18/05/2019 08:24

He took them last night but I've spent all night and this morning over thinking

I hate when they don't even acknowledge your application!!! So disheartening!

OP posts:
dellacucina · 18/05/2019 08:30

Just wanted to tell you you're doing great OP Flowers

Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 18/05/2019 09:09

How do I ignore the little voice saying he might come back, he might come back. I don't want him to come back and he doesn't want to come back. but can't stop that little nagging voice

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Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 18/05/2019 13:04

I'm feeling really down today. Keep randomly bursting into tears. Having a little lay in my bed. My safe space. Always got in bed if had any problems. Ever since I was little.

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sausage1968 · 18/05/2019 13:36

me too Simon ...you are doing amazingly well you should be proud of yourself ...my husband of 28 years told me he is no longer happy at the end of Feb and moved into his mum's...I have that same voice ...he'll realise and come back...it's heart breaking 😘 x

Original poster
Simonfromharlow · 18/05/2019 13:48

I wish I could just tell it to shut up or switch it off

OP posts:
sausage1968 · 18/05/2019 14:32

hopefully in time we will. .big hugs

EffYouSeeKaye · 18/05/2019 14:50

Ah that little voice :(

It will go. It just takes time. ❤️

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