What traits make a good friend?

[Frogface123]

I just thought I'd ask that really. I'm not great friend material at the moment, and haven't been for about 15 years unfortunately! I'm getting quite lonely now really which is no ones fault but my own, so I'd like to try and reinvent myself as some one with more attributes that might help me make friends.

Thank you in advance!

Someone who’s enormously interesting to talk to is my main criteria. And a wide reader.

Someone who shows an interest in what is going on in my life. I have one friend who always just tells me what she is doing but never asks me, doesn’t like my posts on Facebook (even though likes strangers). I sometimes wonder why I am friends with her but in person she’s lovely and we have been friends for a long time.

Any way yes having an interest and remembering what’s going in their life etc

Why do you think you’re not a good friend?

Why do you think you’re not good friend material?

We’re all different and I have friends with different qualities , but they would all have to have kindness and I would expect them to have my back as a given.

Shared sense of humour, ability to chat easily without discomfort, ability to feel relaxed around one another without feeling like you have to entertain or not be yourself.

Someone who listens but also likes to chat and is open about stuff. Obviously it takes a while to gain that openness. Your best bet is just to be interested in people , listen to their story, be friendly in a natural way and gradually friendship will evolve.
Try not to stress it as not becomes unnatural.

Thanks very much, I really appreciate all your comments and will take everything on board.

In answer to why I’m not a good friend; I have become reclusive in the past when I’ve gotten stressed out, so I’ve never had many good friends as understandably they shouldn’t and didn’t wait around for me to come out of my shell again.
I say silly things in conversation accidentally so I imagine I sound quite quirky and odd, and I don’t get out and about much so I don’t really have much to talk about that would be interesting to anyone else.
I can be too open now in conversation sometimes and then I can come across as negative at points which isn’t fair on anyone I’m making conversation with!
Just a chronically boring and negative person really unfortunately!

Thanks again, it’s really helpful to hear all your thoughts.