Sex in shower disaster (tmi) lighthearted why is it never like in novels

[Driftingthoughlife]

Me and hubby have been trying to spice up sex life and I have been trying to get DH to take a bit more of a lead
So on holiday when DS in the kids club we decide to have a bit of adult time
DH grabs me and pulls me into the shower as things are heating up and then a series of disasters.
I try to seductively move my lips down his body and end up catching the shower handle with my arse and turning the shower boiling hot. So we are both yelping and DH manages to turn it down.

DH while trying to masterfully push me up against the wall catches the shower handle again and turns the shower freezing cold. I dive out the shower and slip on the floor bang my knee and nose
End up sat on the bed holding a bloody nose soaking wet with DH trying to pat me dry saying sorry
A lot to be said for the bed I think

Sorry meant Stuck

Worried we would get suck

That’s one of my favourite autocorrects ever on MN.

Getting suck is the point

Double size baths are one’s friend for bath sex.

Old Joke:

• What do you think about sex on the television?

• It's no good. You keep faling off.

I once had sex with a ONS in the shower. We were really drunk and got this idea that we'd have sex in it standing up with me grabbing the rod above our heads and my legs wrapped round his waist.

We both ended up in A&E needing stitches.

Sex in the bath or shower has never worked for me. Being a lesbian i had this notion that it would be easier than for straight people but it just wasn't. I was either cold of swallowing water. Not fun!

Tried this one time and slipped pushing OH backwards. Found him with his arse in the sink just as it was about to pull away from the wall. 😮. EXCITING! 😂

Sex from behind, in the bath.
Lots of lather, and boyfriend working up a storm.
He gave an almighty thrust, and slipped up my bum instead.
I ended up running around, crying, and holding my bleeding bot, with him chasing me saying "Sorry! Sorry!"

@TheGrapefulDread

had sex in the bath once and ended up ripping cartilage in my knee. Never again.

Doesn't work for us either dh too tall

I think height must have something to do with it. We are well matched in the shower and are exactly the same height.

Worried you'd get stuck in the bath?! Our shower cubicle is so small that I fear if DH and I both tried to get in at the same time the only way we would get out again is with the aid of the fire brigade and a vat of grease!

The only way it’s worked for me is to lift them up, legs around you with their back pressed against the wall, but you do need something grippy on the floor!

I once got concussion from drunken shower sex, in a travelodge we were staying at for the night, after a metal gig. I was then sick all over the floor of the car on the way home.

We managed to pull the bracket holding the shower head off the wall.

But we had fun doing it!

Yeah I tried it once with my then boyfriend....

If I wasn’t under the water, I was bloody cold, but if I was under the water, I slipped so much I nearly ended up on my arse

Never again

@OldAndWornOut

I just snorted heavily and given myself a stitch laughing at this

In theory it sounds all so erotic... Some years back as a student; boyfriend at the time and I gave it a go in the tiny shower cubicle in his house and somehow cubicle door broke off. I have no idea how he explained that to his housemates or the landlord.

In the early days pre DC, we went off to Las Vegas for some couple time.

Had a mahoosive walk in shower and being young and fit we're going for it. Until DH farted mid shag and I almost passed out with the smell

We both blamed jet lag.