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Original poster

Would you feel guilty if you went on a. Holiday or long weekend with your dh without your dc

53 replies

Lardlizard · 17/04/2019 16:16

I’d like to I think, but not actually done it before, left the kids behind I mean
They would be left with grandparents

OP posts:
ValleyoftheHorses · 17/04/2019 16:18

No. Not been on holiday but long weekend no problem. It’s good for your marriage which is good for your children.

Reddedder · 17/04/2019 16:20

No. Done it loads of times.

Itstartedinbarcelona · 17/04/2019 16:20

We’ve started doing this now the children are older - usually once a year - either a European city break or just a night in a hotel in this country.

Itstartedinbarcelona · 17/04/2019 16:21

Definitely don’t feel guilty.

Shodan · 17/04/2019 16:23

Nope. Never felt guilty, nor would I, unless my going away with my partner meant no holiday for the children.

PazRaz10 · 17/04/2019 16:24

God no - it's what keeps me sane. It restores our relationship which to be honest gets bogged down with the boring things of day-today parenting/work/life and makes us remember who we were as a couple before our children were born.
Our kids usually do miss us, but they also have the best time being spoilt by their grandparents!

VeronicaDinner · 17/04/2019 16:24

I wouldn't.

Milly90 · 17/04/2019 16:28

Dont feel guilty! Dh and I have bee away 2x without our dd and later this year we may go away again without dd for 4 days

If you have supportive family or friends who can mind the kids why not your more than just parents

KnifeAngel · 17/04/2019 16:29

Yes I would feel guilty. I have never done it.

WickedGoodDoge · 17/04/2019 16:29

Nope. DH and I are going away for our 20th wedding anniversary soon to St Lucia where we honeymooned. We were originally going to bring DC along as well but realised that they would spend the whole time in their cottage moaning that it is too hot and playing on their phones so we are leaving them (DS at home, DD with MIL/FIL). We’re missing DD’s 14th birthday but she said it was fine- though she did recently admit that she only said it was fine because she can now hold it against us for the rest of our lives!

They are older now- 17 & 14, but we did go away years ago when they were younger- 5&8. We went to WDW without them Grin and DD loves to remind us of that time when we went to WDW without them and what terrible parents we are.

BirthdayKake · 17/04/2019 16:30

I did a few months ago and spent so guilty that I spent the first two days in tears and looking for flights home. I didn't want to leave by the end of it though!

JE17 · 17/04/2019 16:36

No, definitely not. And the DC love the chance to be thoroughly spoiled by their GP.

Mydollymolly · 17/04/2019 16:37

No. I've done it often when the kids were living at home. I still go off for weekends / holidays with my friends or sister and leave him who must be disobeyed to fend for himself.

Mydollymolly · 17/04/2019 16:38

Sorry, yes,not no.
I used to leave the kids with my husband or if he was away at the same time, with grandparents.

Titsywoo · 17/04/2019 16:40

Nope I never feel guilty and the first weekend away was when DD was 3 and DS 18 months! My mum used to take them for a couple of weekends a year whether we were away or not as it gave us a break and she wanted to spend time with them. They loved it. Once we went away for 2 weeks (a slightly odd situation though so it never happened again) for an overseas wedding.

Now they are teens it doesn't happen really. They prefer to be at home than with grandparents, we aren't as stressed by parenthood and my parents are older and find them hard to entertain! I now go for weekends away by myself and leave DH and the DC home!

Don't ever feel bad - if they are with someone who loves them and is able to look after them they will be fine. Everyone needs a break IMO.

gamerchick · 17/04/2019 16:41

Satisfied Grin

It's great to renew the bond with your partner, time to solely spend on each other. That's important in a family.

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 17/04/2019 16:42

I wouldn't do a long holiday yet because DS is only 2.5 and in the throes of toddlerdom, and as much as my Mum loves him (she has him once a week) I know it would be too much. A long weekend, definitely.

When he's older I'm hoping to get a chance to go away on holiday Grin

Dothehappydance · 17/04/2019 16:46

Wouldn't feel guilty, but it will never happen due to lack of childcare.

moanyhole · 17/04/2019 16:46

Not when they were younger but now that the youngest is 8 we go on about 4x 2 night retreats without them. Really helps us to unwind and focus on ourselves rather than them.

Ragwort · 17/04/2019 16:47

No, of course I wouldn’t feel guilty Hmm, I am not a martyr. Actually I regularly go on holiday without either my DH or DC.

Do you think my DS has ever felt guilty when we treat him to all his faboulous, expensive school skiing trips Grin?

cstaff · 17/04/2019 16:48

Back in 2007 I talked my sister into going to New York for 5 days which was brilliant. She left her two kids with her husband at the time. They were only 3 and 1 then. I know she felt quite guilty and rang home most nights and also spent more money on them than she did on herself.

Thinking back on it I don't know how I talked her around coz she is not easy going that way.

gonnaneedaginsoon · 17/04/2019 16:52

We leave our DSs with DPiL often so we can have a break. It's great to reconnect with DH and remember the reasons why I married him. Sometimes with all the stresses of working, running a home and bringing up a family it's easy to forget life before those things. I adore my children but our family dynamic is primarily based on the strength of DH and my marriage. So yes, we go away often and I never feel guilty, although we did cancel a trip a couple of months ago due to oneDS being ill and we didn't think he'd settle without us.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 17/04/2019 16:55

I wouldn't feel guilty for the kids - though I'd feel a bit guilty about the mental health damage of whoever I left in charge of 4 lovely but lunatic children, so I've never done it yet!

Unless it's a very small baby, I'd say go ahead - a long weekend is a short time.

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 17/04/2019 16:57

No guilt at all.

We went away when dd was 4 months old for a weekend. She was looked after by my parents, and DH and I got two nights of unbroken sleep, two uninterrupted dinners and two days of conversation that didn’t revolve around the contents of DD’s nappies.

I missed her like mad, but relationships take work as well.

bellsbuss · 17/04/2019 17:13

No we have a couples holiday every year plus weekends away. You need the time to be a couple and not just mum and dad.