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Original poster

Would you feel guilty if you went on a. Holiday or long weekend with your dh without your dc

53 replies

Lardlizard · 17/04/2019 16:16

I’d like to I think, but not actually done it before, left the kids behind I mean
They would be left with grandparents

OP posts:
orangejuiced · 17/04/2019 17:32

No not guilty. I wouldn't want to leave a baby, but a few days away with friends is great, why not? Plenty of people work away, children are fine as long as well cared for. No need to be a martyr

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 17/04/2019 17:38

Nope not a hint of guilt. Went to Rome in Feb. It was incredible I loved it but DS would’ve been bored and knackered from all the walking.

He had his own mini break at Nan and Grandads. They think the world revolves around him and he’s treated like royalty so he had a fantastic time too.

flumpybear · 17/04/2019 18:01

Nope - I've even been on holiday with friends, and ALONE!!! without kids and husband
They all survived and I used to FaceTime
DH often goes away with his friends too

It helps us keen sane and happy outside of the craziness of our gorgeous, yet crazy family 🥴🥳🤪

MachineBee · 17/04/2019 18:04

Go for it OP. DCs and DGPs will both enjoy spending time together and your marriage will definitely benefit from spending some adult time together.

Youngandfree · 17/04/2019 18:07

No, not at all! I’m going away on Saturday for 5 nights with dh. Dc are staying with gp and I don’t feel guilty at all!! I am so looking forward to it! 🙌

SileneOliveira · 17/04/2019 18:10

What is there to feel guilty about? You are a person in your own right, not just Mum.

Although there will be some needy, clingy mothers along shortly saying things like "ooooooh no, I wouldn't dream of leaving my babies, I would sob myself to sleep every night" or " absolutely not, holidays are precious family time for #makingmemories with my #gorgeouskids". Hmm Says far more about them than it does about their children.

Nothing to feel guilty about. Congratulate yourself on raising happy, well-adjusted children who are confident to be left with granny while mum and dad go away for a few days.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 17/04/2019 18:12

No, never tried it as would feel too guilty. I also wouldn't think it fair to expect others to take over my responsibilities for a jolly.

If we go away, we all go unless obviously for work. Plenty of time for couple only holidays once they have grown up.

fillmyglassplease · 17/04/2019 18:14

I don't feel guilty in the slightest.

CakeNinja · 17/04/2019 18:14

I feel no guilt! I have time away from dp and dc, dp does the same and then once a year we both go away together. It’s good for the soul.

Echobelly · 17/04/2019 18:16

Nope, done it almost every year on our anniversary, and kids love having a weekend with their grandparent.s

RonniePasas · 17/04/2019 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yogagirl123 · 17/04/2019 18:18

Long weekend or an overnight stay, lots of times, MIL happy to look after DS’

Why feel guilty?

Normandy144 · 17/04/2019 18:30

We have done it a few times and our two are now 3 and 6. First time was when DD1 was 18 months and then after that on average once or twice a year. Usually just for a night or two, but we did manage 5 nights away on honeymoon last year.
I think it is hugely important to spend timw together as a couple. A marriage needs to be fed and you need to invest time and effort into it.
I don't feel guilty about it. The kids have fun, it's a win win!

Ellapaella · 17/04/2019 18:33

Nope. Going to Rome with DH next week for 4 days and my Mum is coming to stay with the DC. I can't wait - it's the first time we've been away on our own together for 10 years.

Heratnumber7 · 17/04/2019 18:37

Of course not. Why would you?

RiverMeadow · 17/04/2019 18:41

Absolutely not, you and your DH are still people as well as parents. Book up and don't give it a second thought! Enjoy!

CalmConfident · 17/04/2019 18:42

Nope! Do it Wink

CherryPlum · 17/04/2019 18:50

Yes I would feel guilty, because it would mean that we then couldn't afford a family holiday. If I was loaded and could afford to do a family holiday plus a 'mum & dad' holiday/weekend away then maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty. But after years and years of not going anywhere without the kids I guess my guilt is now in-built so I would still feel bad.

Barbarafromblackpool · 17/04/2019 19:08

Have done it a few nights without guilt.

CatToddlerUprising · 17/04/2019 19:10

We did when DD was 9 months old- 3 nights away on a euro city break.

archivearmadillo · 17/04/2019 19:22

Depends on children's ages and how long you're away.

I'd never be away from a baby if it were avoidable, and the idea of choosing to be away from a baby under 6 months overnight just for a totally unnecessary jolly does seem properly crappy parenting - no matter which parent - to me.

A weekend away from young children old enough to communicate either verbally or through body language, pointing etc if they're with grandparents who actively want to have them and who they know very well and have a proper strong bond with, have spent a trial night with and who can definitely cope and genuinely comfort the children if ill or upset is about where I'd feel ok though. We did that twice, a couple of years apart. 2 nights each time. The first time it was a destination where there were children and I missed mine a lot, the second was child unfriendly and I felt less guilty because I wasn't thinking about the fact that they'd have enjoyed it.

Going on a full on holiday yes I'd feel guilty unless the children were old enough to have actively chosen not to come, and were offered the genuine choice, or were over 16 and also off on their own holidays without us at other or the same times.

dimsum123 · 17/04/2019 19:27

Yes, done it a few times, until now in UK or Europe but this year doing 1 week long haul. DCs will be at grandparents with their cousins. Can't wait! First time DH and I have been long haul alone for 16 years!

dimsum123 · 17/04/2019 19:27

We never feel at all guilty!

dimsum123 · 17/04/2019 19:29

But it's not at the expense of a family holiday, we're doing a 3 week long haul family hol in the summer too.

TellySavalashairbrush · 17/04/2019 19:49

I was made to feel like the worst mother in the world by my immediate family when I left my dd for 5 days with my mum when she was a toddler (had just experienced a divorce and also temporary homelessness a few months prior) and was offered a sunshine break. Dd was fine, but I didn’t leave her again till she was 16 and refused any more family holidays with me and dp. Having said that I think some parents take the piss and shove their kids on ‘nan and grandad ‘ at every given opportunity. I’m looking at you dear neice!!!