Self indulgent offload.. apologies in advance.

[Therewere5inthebed]

I’m feeling really very sorry for myself st the moment. I’m in my early 40’s and had a total knee replace three yrs ago, for the first 6 months afterwards it was ok but has been getting progressively more painful as time has gone on.

I’ve seen two consultants, had various scans including nuclear and the consensus is that the knee just isn’t healing. Subsequently they are not willing to do a revision due to this and my relatively young age so I’m left to manage the pain.

I have a very supportive GP but the pain is still there despite being on the maximum daily dose of gabapentin and on codeine too.
I also have colitis, and joint hyper mobility syndrome which makes the rest of my joints hurt but the knee pain knocks me sideways, to the point that I think I may have developed a new form of pain induced Tourette’s.

To top it off I woke up with a rash around my marionette lines today that has just been diagnosed as perioral dermatitis.

I feel like my body hates me!

That sounds crap. I really feel for you - you have so much to deal with right now. Nothing helpful to offer, but sometimes you do just need to get it all off your chest. Do you have people around you that are sympathetic, that you can offload to when you need to?

Thanks Big that is exactly it, I just needed to offload.

My kids are great, DH is ok ish and I don’t want to worry my parents who can obviously see that I’m struggling but not how bad I’m feeling at the moment.
Dr keeps asking how i’m Feeling mentally but can’t bring myself to tell her as I’m doing a good job of hiding it by being my usual jolly self.

It really doesn’t help that I’m Self Employed and can’t take any time off as a few days peace would help a bit I’m sure.

I’m looking to change jobs but the drop in income will hit us hard. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to be honest with your Dr if she's specifically asking you how you're getting on? It sounds like you have a hell of a lot to deal with just now, and if you can't be honest with your doctor about how crappy you're feeling, who can you be honest with??

Is there no other pain relief available at all? It must be so hard to function with all that pain. You have my sympathy as I have ME, so I'm dealing with unrelenting fatigue. Chronic conditions are a pain (literally!