I've never been 'naughty' with substances. Have I missed out?

[XavierSaviour]

I feel like I have. I know I'll be getting flamed for this post. I feel so bloody boring.

I have never touched a cigarette (okay, not completely true. A boyfriend once asked me to hold his fag whilst he tied his shoe. I yelped in fear it would burn me!).

I have never touched coke. Not even a tiny bit. My dad was very successful and confident and he did use coke as a recreational drug, so I'm told.

Have I missed out on anything? I know lots of people who do still take it and have taken it. My own mum used it to get her through a university degree. She stopped only because of me. And has never touched it since.

People who no longer use it but did always give me a similar answer along the lines of "Ahh, those were the days. I'd never do it now. But it was good".

I know most Mumsnet folk won't admit it perhaps but have I missed out on something? DH took it on the odd occasion when he was younger. He said it isn't worth it. Not really.

Stress is really getting to me at the moment and when I look at someone lighting up a cigarette, I always wonder if it'd be nice I said the other day "Oh you know what? I really fancy a fag". DH looked at me like I had two heads and laughed! Purely because I've never smoked. The same goes for alcohol (I don't like the taste), so I can't use that to unwind.

I'd love to feel 'invincible' like some people claim it makes them feel. Family are always doing it at any given type of party or celebration and I feel like the odd ball. I've never fitted into their confident EastEnd type persona of confidence and sheer sense of togetherness when having a dance or party. I always feel like the 'well to do' one and I hate it. I wish I could let go like they can.

I've never done any of these 'naughty' things because of fear. Fear of lung cancer, fear of a heart attack etc. The fag thing being addiction related, the coke thing being a worry from the get go since I know it can technically kill you from the first try.

You’re really not missing anything, I have done quite a few things I think most people on the scene have (but not for a few years), it really doesn’t enhance your life apart from an hour or so.

I do smoke though, and you couldn’t pay me to give that up.

I’ve not done anything either, barely ever drank either. I don’t feel like I’ve missed out at all, the effects of doing drugs, smoking cigarettes etc were graphically drummed into us at school and I never understood why anyone would run the risk really. It’s not cool! At least you don’t need substances to have a good time.

I have smoked, smoked a lot of pot, taken mushrooms and a few very dodgy legal high things.

It's really not all it's cracked up to be, and there is a very good reason most people leave that kind of thing in their past.

The only one I would ever say I miss is the pot, but I haven't touched it in ten years or so and I honestly don't know if I would want to now with the stuff that is floating around. It stinks to high heaven and there seems to be a lot more paranoia and anxiety around its users than when I was smoking it.

I never have and never will touch cocain having seem the havoc it can wreak. Ditto any of the hard stuff

I still smoke. Smoked loads of cannabis when I was younger and still have the odd joint now but it's way too strong these days. Loved Ecstacy in my 20's/30's and look back on those days fondly as it made me chatty and sociable which I'm generally not as a person. Found Coke later in life and have the odd dabble these days (I'm in my early 40's) but certainly don't rely on it, it just takes the edge off all the alcohol!
I don't regret anything but always dealt with it and never had a 'bad one' but I appreciate people do and have seen it.
I always think as well I'm able to advise and recognise if my DC's ever did it, not that I want them too at all.

To add I could honestly say I've never and would never touch anything like crack or heroin and all the legal high shit that does the rounds these days

Coke, no.
Acid, Maybe!

I've done a lot of drugs in my time and some of it was fun and some of it was horrific. I dont regret it because I wouldn't be where I am in my life now if not for the things I've been through.... but I'd not necessarily recommend it either!!
I mean if it's not for you then it's not for you. There are plenty of other interesting and fun things to do that do not involve such a risk.

Hahaha. No, obviously.

All the conversations were shit, all the insights were bollocks and all the relationships/friendships formed were - at best - required to be reformed once the participants were sober.

And I am still fucked off with myself about all the fucking money it cost.

People on coke are insufferable in my experience.

I've never taken any recreational drugs or smoked. I do sometimes use my husbands low nicotine vape for a few puffs if we're out without ds but that's more of a conscious "ha I'll be naughty" sort of thing. Actual nicotine makes me feel really unwell. Similarly morphine makes me feel like I'm on a terrible rocky boat and makes me vomit.

I don't feel like I've missed out at all. I did bloody love pethadine in labour though.

I could count on my fingers the amount of times I’ve been drunk, I have held the smoke from half a dozen cigs in my mouth as a young adult trying to be cool, and I shared a joint with my best mate on one of the aforementioned drunk occasions.

I don’t think I’m missing out. Although I’ve always had severe MH problems so I think I was always to worries or preoccupied to need to alter my reality.

I do enjoy the odd drink, but am teetotal most of the time. I have had the odd puff of a fag when I was a kid, but didn't like the taste, so never developed the habit. I have never taken drugs of any kind and never would. I probably am boring, but do you know what? I don't give a fuck.

As someone who spent my last couple of teenage years around people who took drugs and/or drank heavily, you didn't miss anything. It's all fun and games until people get aggressive and start fighting, or someone vomits on you/your couch.

I'm similar to you, OP, but I really don't think I've missed out. I've smoked about three cigarettes in my life & decided I didn't like it, and I've never tried any illegal substances because I've never wanted to. I'm not totally virtuous though as I do like wine. I'm probably just old & boring

To clarify- I didn't take them, which made it worse, and there's nothing worse than being the only sober person in a room of drunks!

Other than being a generally light drinker who's over-indulged a fairfew times, I have never smoked or taken any drugs. I did end up passively stoned at a druggy party once, and the next day was the longest day of my life as I was stranded in another city while everyone else in the building came down. My goodness that was boring, probably worse than the night on a mountain in a storm in a survival shelter

It's never seemed to be worth the costs or the risks. Pethadine in labour was bad enough. Trying something of unknown quality and potentially having a bad high never seemed to be worth it. I have earned myself some hangovers, but alcohol is quality controlled and I tend to be a happy drunk although these days I just don't have the stamina to get more than mildly tipsy.

The one time I understood the impulse to smoke was when I was waiting for a train connection. I was still full from Sunday lunch but felt the desire to have something with my drink in the station cafe. Knowledge of the health risks (including a deceased parent) and the smell was always ample deterant.

I never needed to alter my mindstate to have a good time, and bonus, being sober means you remember it. I can be perfectly silly when sober

I've never done anything either and I can tell you I don't feel like I missed out

I’ve done a lot of drugs in my time. 99% of the time it was an absolute blast. Some of my best times, some of my best friends made. It really can open your eyes to a bigger, wider, brighter world out there from the humdrum lives most people live. Now I have a child I don’t go there so much. But I don’t regret a second.

Be proud to be different if it feels everyone else has done something you haven't! I used to be that girl.. Wishing I was more like everyone else.. now I'm older and wiser, I'm proud of myself for being strong enough to say NO and remind myself of that when I'm feeling like a pathetic weak person!!

Just to clarify I'm not judging people for what they do/have done at all if it reads that that, apologies!!

There is nothing inherently 'interesting' about taking drugs. I do get annoyed when people of my generation (40s) talk about young people today as 'boring' because they drink and drug less than we did as a whole.

I did drugs occasionally (maybe half a dozen half ecstasy tablets, joints, coke twice, mushrooms twice), but not that much, because a) I'm a control freak and don't like the idea of being 'off my face' and unable to hold it together and b) I didn't like my money going into the drugs trade. Also a) when it comes to being very drunk - just not into that.

I have had some great times on drugs, but I wouldn't say they are greater than the best times I've had not on them.

Could never see the attraction of cigs.

So no, you're not missing out on much.

You’ve hit the nail on the head there OP... “I’d never do it now”. Because it wasn’t worth it.

The problem is that substances are great and therefore life without is not as good.

I did tons of the stuff years back and I think it has contributed to a feeling of general dissatisfaction in the rest of my life.

So in the bigger picture, you have done the right thing by leaving them well alone.

If you were going to die soon though and wanted to feel great before you died, I would say it would be worth trying everything.

There's a lot going on in your post - feelings of stress, isolation from family, 'missing out', fear. Any kind of drug - from alcohol to tobacco to dope to cocaine - won't help with any of that.

Some people enjoy their drug of choice free from downsides but doesn't mean you've missed out. Perhaps consider thinking/talking through where these feelings might stem from.

Ooo I hope my kids turn out like you op!
You haven't missed much honestly x

I’m boring too OP. Never done drugs, nor smoked cigarettes and don’t have tattoos. Gosh, just realising I’m proper vanilla.

@MissSuebishi why would you think it’s a strong thing to do to say no to something that makes you feel amazing? Throughout thousands of years of history humans have enhanced their lives through substances that elevate their senses. Life is for living. If you don’t experience different things. If you spend every weekend watching Britain’s Got Talent or whatever then what’s the point?