I've never been 'naughty' with substances. Have I missed out?

[XavierSaviour]

I feel like I have. I know I'll be getting flamed for this post. I feel so bloody boring.

I have never touched a cigarette (okay, not completely true. A boyfriend once asked me to hold his fag whilst he tied his shoe. I yelped in fear it would burn me!).

I have never touched coke. Not even a tiny bit. My dad was very successful and confident and he did use coke as a recreational drug, so I'm told.

Have I missed out on anything? I know lots of people who do still take it and have taken it. My own mum used it to get her through a university degree. She stopped only because of me. And has never touched it since.

People who no longer use it but did always give me a similar answer along the lines of "Ahh, those were the days. I'd never do it now. But it was good".

I know most Mumsnet folk won't admit it perhaps but have I missed out on something? DH took it on the odd occasion when he was younger. He said it isn't worth it. Not really.

Stress is really getting to me at the moment and when I look at someone lighting up a cigarette, I always wonder if it'd be nice I said the other day "Oh you know what? I really fancy a fag". DH looked at me like I had two heads and laughed! Purely because I've never smoked. The same goes for alcohol (I don't like the taste), so I can't use that to unwind.

I'd love to feel 'invincible' like some people claim it makes them feel. Family are always doing it at any given type of party or celebration and I feel like the odd ball. I've never fitted into their confident EastEnd type persona of confidence and sheer sense of togetherness when having a dance or party. I always feel like the 'well to do' one and I hate it. I wish I could let go like they can.

I've never done any of these 'naughty' things because of fear. Fear of lung cancer, fear of a heart attack etc. The fag thing being addiction related, the coke thing being a worry from the get go since I know it can technically kill you from the first try.

I wish I could say the same op.
I smoke.
I stopped drinking on NYE and haven't touched a drop. Wasn't a huge drinker anyway but got in with a new group of friends whose lives revolved around "the weekend" which then turned into a minor coke phase.

I didn't like what I had become. I felt invincible and did some stupid bloody things whilst on it ( threesome with my friend and her ex ) was the most memorable for all of the wrong reasons.

I was very anti drugs and was surprised at how normal it was.
It seemed like everyone was doing it and I saw first hand the levels of deceit that people go to for it, the debt, hiding from dealers etc and i cut myself off completely and feel soooo much better so no op- you haven't missed out at all, good on you I say.

OP you are not alone about drugs, except I had one puff of a cigarette and never a second. I do drink though.

My reason is largely to be different in not ever having taken illegal drugs, and more recently not to be supporting the criminal gangs and mafias behind it such as in Colombia.

I’m the same, although I did drink until about a year ago.

I do work with people who abuse substances (such as alcohol, cocaine, cannabis, heroin, street Valium etc) though and can tell you none of them are happy while they are using. Often in massive debt, with a substance related criminal record, either homeless or losing their home, strained relationships with family or at risk of losing their kids. People manage to abuse substances without these things happening but it’s a massive risk, alongside the health risk. There isn’t some magic cure all drug. I am incredibly happy most of the time and wouldn’t use illegal drugs if you paid me £1million. I’ve even seen cannabis ruin people’s lives.

I think you should go to your GP. You sound stressed and unhappy and may benefit from some counselling. I know it doesn’t seem like it but almost certainly your life is better than it would be if you abused substances. They will not fix how you are feeling.

Ive never smoked nor done drugs. Ive told myteens this and i feel ive gone through life feeling ok and not missed out on anything. I love a drink, not getting pissed but I can happily have a lager or wine every night, just the glass.

Loads of my friends did speed etc when teens and i walked away. I didn’t want friends like that. I had a weekend job too so I wasn’t out mixing with them. Lots of those are still fucked up today and a couple have been in jail with drug offences.

Im very anti drugs. People know the risks and entirely up to them to take those risks, but when you have kids you certainly dont take them.

I'd love to feel 'invincible' like some people claim it makes them feel

It’s only temporary though. I’ve taken drugs in the past and enjoyed them but although you feel great on the night you feel awful the day after (paranoid, weepy). There absolutely not good to take if you’re already feeling unhappy.

It's not great for your body. I gave up smoking (socially) last January and don't miss it at all, and I regret ever starting. You don't really get any pleasant effects from it either, maybe the first puff. Please don't start smoking! Find something else to fill the void you're trying to fill.
I've taken various drugs and still do on occasion but when I do I know that I'll be irritable and moody as comedowns are horrid. There will be a point when I don't do it at all any more - I'm getting old, one glass of wine and some good tv does me fine these days.
I love dancing at festivals, and so the extra stamina and music enjoyment is the main reason I do it.
I have never been one to do them every weekend, and my friend who used to need to do it just to pop into town to the pub now is living with heart failure in her 50s and I don't think that's a coincidence.
Find some joy in something else OP - and enjoy finding out what it is that makes you tick!

You've missed out on a lot of comedowns, freak outs, miserable Mondays and Tuesdays, etc as well, OP.

I haven’t either, I drink alcohol but I’ve never tried cigarettes or drugs. Quite happy with that tbh, if I’d wanted to try the others I could have done but I’ve always seen them as bad and never had the inclination at all.

My Ds is 14 and his very well respected state grammar school has had a real serious issue with cannabis this term. Numerous children have been permanently excluded for bringing in and smoking cannabis on the school site. Ds is anti drugs and is amazed the amount of children in the year that smoke cannabis and how readily available it seems to be. The schools drugs education has been very poor up until now but they have suddenly started to spend all their pshe lessons talking about illegal substances.

I was surprised though that in one of the lessons Ds said that the teacher told the class that everyone of them would try a class A drug at least once in their lives. I haven't and neither have most people I know.

I have worked Quality Assurance in the pharma industry for years. So many regulations to keep patients safe! Why in God’s name would anyone want to put untested pharma -active substances in their body? It’s beyond me!
Also did no-one see the BBC article about drugs being screened for faecal content. They come in in peoples’ insides, get excreted in little rubber packs that then get a brisk run under the tap before they’re opened, basically you might as well just inject yourself/ swallow/ smoke someone else’s neat shit!
Fine if that’s your idea of leading an exciting life I suppose!
There’s also the people,exploited/ killed getting the stuff to the ultimate consumer, I suppose that’s exciting, bit too vicarious for me though.

I suppose you won't know if you've missed out unless you make a bucket list of what you think you might fancy having a go of and working through it
Pot just made me sleepy and hungry and wake up with a banging headache. Don't miss those days at all.
Took mushrooms once by accident (ex BF put them in my tea the sod). Was awful. I sat in a corner and cried.
I was quite a fan of pills for a while until I had a terrible experience where I thought they hadn't worked and so went to bed. Woke up feeling like I had concrete poured and set over me and couldn't breathe. Had to shout for my friends who sat and calmed me down. Never did it again after that.
I smoked for years but don't miss that either.
Drinking, I do have the odd gin or glass of wine but the hangover isn't worth it. I used to be very good at drinking, could do a smaller bottle of vodka in my late teens but realised this was probably down to the speed we all took (speed is the worst, the rotten gut ache it used to give me, there was a reason it was so cheap).
Out of all of them, I would find it easy to say no to all but a sneaky line. Never had after effects, made a very shy anxious me feel great. Bloody expensive though.
I do say no as I'm a sensible Mum these days and if the couple of mild hangovers with children are anything to go by, I imagine a come down would be hell on earth.
And no, I don't tell anyone not from those days about them, they'd be horrified by wild teen me.
It's not just the effects on health or the cost, it's how many silly and avoidable situations I put myself in. I would be horrified if either DC got into it, DD is two years away from the age I was when I had my first spliff and I was already smoking cigarettes by then too.

Smoked weed when I was a youngster (it wasn't weed then it was hashish) never bothered once dc came. Then I got ill and became addicted to prescription codeine for four years.
Quit the codeine and replaced with weed so now I smoke fairly regularly and I won't lie, it's good.

I haven't done anything but my sister is a heroin addict that started of on the smaller stuff so why the fk would I? Really isn't worth having your 3 kids taken away and brought up by your mum and not being able to see them.

My DH was in an awful relationship and used cocaine to escape the situation, he said if he could do his life over again be would do it exactly the same but without the drugs.

I never bothered with drugs as I quickly discovered meditation at university. Getting high on fresh air? Hell, yes.

I do still have a fondness for caffeine and chocolate.

Like @Shiverrrrmetimbers I've taken loads of drugs and loved every minute of it. The problem is as you get older you take longer to recover and you have more responsibilities such as kids and a career which come first before fun. It's just growing up I suppose 🤷🏼‍♀️

Cigarettes .... ex smoker ... once you kill your taste buds it is good but it also caused me to have a really bad cough and cost a lot of money .... yes I miss them but that’s the addictive intiital chill vibe it gives .... honestly I deal with stress better because I am not itching to go have a fagg.

Alcohol .. still like that .... but only great if you don’t cross a line ... not a 20 year old that escapes hangovers anymore ... a glass of red or a cheeky gin and tonic with my dinner or while chilling in the bath is lush ... but if you don’t like the flavour then no ... why do it ? ... my husband is not a fan of alcohol in terms of taste and he gets the same chill vibe off a nice cold can of fizzy drink or a punnet of fruit .... I can from chocolate ... honestly my husband is so go and I love all things bad 😂😂

Oh and totally agree with PP who said they wouldn't touch modern legal highs. I do some work within the prison system and the damage caused by synthetic drugs such as spice (not legal anymore) is shocking. hand on heart I would rather my kids did class As than touch that shit - not that I'd be happy about that either just to be clear!!!

You missed out on trance on pills in the 90s.
The two went hand in hand.
They were some stupendous nights. I danced from 10pm until 6am making one night soul mates all the way. And cheap nights too as all I drank was water. And chewed gum...

Like you I've not tried any but I don't have a fear of missing out and don't regret not trying them.

My uncle died in his early 20s when I was a baby , in the 70s, from an accidental overdose. That's always been enough of a deterrent for me anyway.

@IJustLostTheGame I did the same but in the late 90s. Best nights of my life!! We were so young and carefree, in love with the world, dancing for hours. It was exhilarating! I wouldn’t touch drugs with a barge pole now but I don’t regret a second of it.

I’ve never touched drugs or cigarettes either, OP.
As a doctor, I’ve seen the wrecked lives that result. I’ve had to turn off the ventilators on brain dead teenage ecstasy users in ITU. I’ve had six patients in one day being given a lung cancer diagnosis. I’ve seen alcoholics bleeding to death from oesophageal varices. I’ve read case reports of 25 year olds dying from cocaine induced heart attacks.
And that’s quite apart from the tide of human misery involved in the illegal drug supply chain - torture, gang war, murder, prostitution and trafficking.
Why would any sane human want to be part of such a sordid, life destroying activity?
Celebrate your good sense, OP! And find healthy ways to manage stress - exercise, counselling, meditation, prayer, support from friends and family. Drugs are never the answer, whatever the question.

I smoked a fair bit of hash in my twenties. Tried speed once, found it dull. I smoked like a chimney, drank like a fish. Post-op diamorphine (heroin) is always a pleasure. These days I don't do anything bar nicotine chewing gum as a sharpener, caffeine, and tramadol to enable me to move without screaming. Alcohol: one glass is too many, one bottle isn't enough. The very best drug of all is a grandchild who's pleased to see you.

Paying for illegal drugs benefits criminals and harms a lot of people in communities in the supply chain. Grim, just to have “fun”.

I tried loads of things when I was young and it was good fun, for sure, and luckily no harm done. But when I look back at my misspent youth, the really great memories are not from times when eg I was stoned, or doing speed in a nightclub.

So I wouldn't worry you've missed out for one second.

Great post @Babdoc