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Original poster

How many birthday presents do you get your child?

124 replies

00100001 · 12/04/2019 07:36

I'm just being nosey really.

We have always brought one smallish present for DS. As he was growing up it was things like a Dr Who colouring book and pens. A Ninjago. A starwars onesie.as he got older, he got some decent fineline pens for his art, a graphic novel he wanted, a wok (his request!).

He also has cake and chooses dinner.

My colleague said I was being tight! But it's not about that, it's about ALL THE FUCKING STUFF.

It's not like he goes without on his birthday as he will get around 15 other gifts. (GPs, aunts, uncles, neighbour, friends etc)

OP posts:
Original poster
00100001 · 12/04/2019 11:16

youngestisapsycho OK, so DS requested the wok for his birthday.
I go out and buy it and then give it to him anyway as it's a "household item"
Then what do i get for his birthday? what if that then doesn't fit the "accepted" list?

OP posts:
nancy75 · 12/04/2019 11:19

Asking about the phone / tec stuff because that’s what most 15 year olds usually want & get. Your post about the wok made it sound a bit like all his friends are on fortnite or whatever it is they do while he’s sitting in his room with a wok Grin

username67795 · 12/04/2019 11:22

It all depends on your budget I assume. I sometimes go OTT as my family are like that. I got DD6 presents this year. I like the idea which some people do of 4 presents. Something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.

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Original poster
00100001 · 12/04/2019 11:22

nancy75 LOL.

Yep he has cuddle his wok at night, as he's so unloved by his mean parents. ;)

OP posts:
Cloudyyy · 12/04/2019 11:23

Well I think birthday gifts are supposed to be something special, given to bring joy to the receiver on their birthday. Unless you’re very hard up, it shouldn’t be something they “need”, more something they’d enjoy and wouldn’t normally have. Are you saying you didn’t get him colouring books anyway?! That does sound very mean!

Also how on Earth would your own meal count as his birthday present?? If you’re counting it as part of his present, that’s the same as him buying you all a meal out of his birthday money. It’s very stingey.

Original poster
00100001 · 12/04/2019 11:23

" Something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read."

see, "something they want" is exactly what he's had every year.

OP posts:
pusspuss9 · 12/04/2019 11:26

'So, why is buying a wok different to buying clothes/trainers?'

AS you said he enjoys stir fries then I assumed that this is something that is cooked on a fairly regular basis in your household and as such, buying a wok would be a standard household item, not a birthday present for one person out of a whole family that would benefit from it.

BlackInk · 12/04/2019 11:31

Your DS sounds lovely OP. There's nothing wrong with not lavishing kids with mountains of STUFF. It sounds as though he loves his gifts and you haven't said he feels hard done by. You're raising an unmaterialistic child who knows there's more to life than having stuff :)

happyhillock · 12/04/2019 11:31

Some people go way over the top, i used to spend £50 until they became teenager's then it was £50 in a card to spend on what they wanted, now there adult's and working it's £25 in a card.

blondiehip · 12/04/2019 11:37

My son is three next week and I spend just under £100 on him. This doesn't include his party, it's just gifts. At the end of the day you spend what you want or can afford.

Soubriquet · 12/04/2019 11:41

Urm...it differs really.

They tend to get a big present such as a bike for example, and then a couple of little presents.

Not as big as Christmas though. Just enough to treat.

Christmas tends to be a full replacement of toys for the year

EmrysAtticus · 12/04/2019 11:47

DS is 3 and has a lot of family who buy for him so this year we got him a second hand dolls house for £8 and some bits for his train track which came to £20. However we also paid for a big party for all his nursery friends which was £170 and a cake etc. He ended up with ridiculous amounts of presents in the end and was very happy.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 12/04/2019 11:48

This year DD (6yos) got a watch, bike helmet, colouring stuff, books and a jigsaw from her sister. Had 6 friends at our house for a craft party. Homemade cake.

She got Lego, books, Playmobil, cuddly toy, doll, vouchers etc from wider family. She has loads of family who buy for her. She also has presents to keep at her grandparents houses in a different country.

Favourite present? The £1 glittery pencil case.
We could afford a lot more... But she doesn't want more. Especially since her sister is only 18months older and they chose to share everything (except special teddies and Lego sets until built)

Lazybonita · 12/04/2019 11:51

I think it’s lovely that he wanted a wok and if he was happy with his presents I can not see the problem. My ds2 is turning 10 soon and he is Lego obsessed so I have bought him a big set and few smaller sets along with a few other bits and pieces like pens and a head torch. Lego is expensive and I will probably have spent about £200 but we can comfortably afford to spend that much and he will be thrilled with his gifts so I’m happy.

Stabbitha · 12/04/2019 11:56

Mine get a small token gift of around 20 pounds with a helium balloon (small tradition) on the day. Plus a cake and gifts from family etc Then we have a day out of their choosing (within reason).

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 12/04/2019 11:57

I think OP is getting a hard time here. For a toddler a colouring book is still special and exciting. A special colouring book with their favourite character: more so.
For someone really into cooking: good quality equipment is a great gift and not necessarily cheap!
What stands out to me about OPs gifts is that they are chosen with thought even when they're not necessarily the done thing.
Plus OP has already mentioned that her kids get gifts from other relatives.
It's really fine.

Original poster
00100001 · 12/04/2019 11:59

I'm happy to accept that others give more for birthdays.

OP posts:
Anothernew1 · 12/04/2019 12:11

OP said he was 6/7 when he got the colouring book not a toddler surely colouring books/materials are just part of everyday expenses of having a child and encouraging them to be creative.
I also think a wok should be a general household item.
My partner is the type to buy ridiculously practical items that people need as bday/xmas presents - I hate this for me presents should be a real treat and something you really want but wouldnt necessarily buy for yourself.

OwnerOfThatChocolateBar · 12/04/2019 12:11

Our little ones are only toddlers and I do get told I go overboard not just on their birthdays. Easter for example they get an Easter egg each in a personalised Easter crate with small toys and an outfit and just small bits they'll love but is full of goodies. DH has said it's ridiculous as I do this for everything even valentines for them. I know it's not just about stuff but I love to make them feel special.
So to me a colouring book and pencils is a mega stingy gift for your own child!

BlackInk · 12/04/2019 12:14

Christmas tends to be a full replacement of toys for the year

Shock Do people really do this?? Fully replace their children's toys once a year? My DC are 7 and 9 and they both still play with things they've had since they were babies, from time to time. Some of these things are special to them. Of course we get rid of broken toys and hand things that don't get played with to charity or friends with younger children - but this attitude sums up a whole lot that's wrong with the world...

RestingBitchFaced · 12/04/2019 12:32

A main present usually about £50, and a few smaller ones to open. They can choose either a party or a day out. DS (9) just had a trip to a trampoline park with two friends from school. They had McDonald's on the way home, and then stayed to play for the afternoon. Obviously he still had a little tea party with birthday cake etc too

FurrySlipperBoots · 12/04/2019 12:42

Every family does things differently. When we were children (in fact, even these days, even though I just turned 30!) my mum organised piles and piles of birthday presents. But we didn't get bought things for 'anyways' - I remember one school break she got us 3 a colouring book to share and that was really exciting because it just didn't happen in the normal way of things. We had presents on other big occasions - Easter, Christmas, en route for our holiday and for half birthdays, which we celebrated, but otherwise we made do with what we already had and that was fine.

OP if what you're getting is within the normal range for you as a family what's wrong with that? Your DS won't feel hurt will he, and presumably he has earning power now, or soon will at 15, so he can save and buy things he wants for himself.

flabbythighs · 12/04/2019 12:46

I think the OP is getting an unnecessary hard time from some posters , she has bought her son presents he wanted and asked for , he obviously likes cooking and this is reflected in some of the presents he has received , which is a lot more thoughtful than simply buying a load of junk for buying a pile of presents sake . It's also good to remember some people are less materialistic than others .

kerkyra · 12/04/2019 12:52

wow,some very indulged children on this thread.

If child likes a wok,then that's a great birthday present. I remember my friend buying her twins trainers for their birthday,as they didn't have any. They were over the moon.

My 11yr old is happy with a twenty pound note and a cake.

Imadehimlikethat · 12/04/2019 12:55

The number of presents doesn't matter. One tatty used colouring book, one state of the art X Box. Totally different budgets.

I have to say buying a 7 yo just a colouring book and crayons does seem..minimalistic. I'd prob set a min budget, get the colouring book and a few smaller things - doctor who socks etc. But you don't need to spend £5k in 300 presents just to placate strangers on the Internet OP.

DH would have been happy with the expensive comic at that age, and it's a reasonable budget. If the kid really wanted a wok, then why can't he have one. I'd just make sure it isn't used by other people.