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Original poster

How many birthday presents do you get your child?

124 replies

00100001 · 12/04/2019 07:36

I'm just being nosey really.

We have always brought one smallish present for DS. As he was growing up it was things like a Dr Who colouring book and pens. A Ninjago. A starwars onesie.as he got older, he got some decent fineline pens for his art, a graphic novel he wanted, a wok (his request!).

He also has cake and chooses dinner.

My colleague said I was being tight! But it's not about that, it's about ALL THE FUCKING STUFF.

It's not like he goes without on his birthday as he will get around 15 other gifts. (GPs, aunts, uncles, neighbour, friends etc)

OP posts:
letsdolunch321 · 12/04/2019 10:33

Mine get around £ 50/60 spent on them, taken to dinner/birthday cake and that is it.

UnusualBluePenguin · 12/04/2019 10:35

I think the OPs way is unusual at this time and the dc would see that they get much less than friends of the same age. That needs some explanation or they will be be left feeling their parents are less generous than others and what does that say about their relationship? If the reason is lack of finances then most kids can understand that from quite a young age but if the reason is more ideological you will have to explain and show the benefits of your way. Maybe its an ethical, environmental choice. Or maybe you prefer to save the money for something that will benefit them long term. Again the children can understand your point of view and see it's not because you don't care about them, even if they would prefer an Xbox and some plastic tat right now.

Cloudyyy · 12/04/2019 10:40

Sounds very tight!! Why are you counting a meal out for you all as his present?! Also even if he likes a colouring book (mine do too), it hardly constitutes a whole birthday present from his parents. Unless you’re seriously hard up, it’s very unusual to be so mean on your own children’s birthdays.

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Angelinthenightx · 12/04/2019 10:42

We spend about £150 on each child for a birthday ,never did a party just family and close friends get together like a bbq.

MyDcAreMarvel · 12/04/2019 10:42

Yes of course it’s tight op, as you are well aware.

x2boys · 12/04/2019 10:47

Well ds1 birthday is on Boxing day so.it all.gets a bit mixed up.with the Xmas madness I try and make sure he has 1 big thing he wants for his birthday as well as Xmas presents ,ds2_has severe autism and learning disabilities so.it's more a question of trying to find a present he likes ,last year he got a hose pipe!

Original poster
00100001 · 12/04/2019 10:48

"Yes of course it’s tight op, as you are well aware."

Why is it tight?

OP posts:
caperplips · 12/04/2019 10:50

I think if your budget dictates that this is as much as you can afford then that is absolutely fine and you are good parents for stretching the funds to make sure he has a small present and a cake and a meal.

However, if it is not budget related then, yes, it is tight. Surely birthdays are a time when you can give a but more than the bare bones of what they desire - he wanted that book so would be nice to get the book AND a something he would love but not expect

we have a young teen whose birthday falls close to Christmas, but we make sure she has a nice celebration and we get her gifts. She is now at the stage where she wants clothes - so last year she got VANS and a hoodie, and a surprise (stupidly expensive) make-up set and some lush products.

And a cake and a meal out. And then at the weekend a gathering of 6 of her friends at our house with delivered Dominos pizzas and other teen-style party food.

MyDcAreMarvel · 12/04/2019 10:50

You started the thread op so you must know it’s not normal.
Because unless very poor a colouring book or a onsie on there own are not birthday presents. And the wok is a household item, buy it regardless if he is interested in cooking.

Snog · 12/04/2019 10:52

We would usually throw a party at around £150
Make a cake
And buy whatever present we thought they would like eg a trampoline or roller skates, plus a few smaller presents if the main present wasn't a big one. We don't have much family though so not loads of presents from relatives.

For older teens usually a meal out, a cake, and what they want could be a laptop/camera/phone/festival ticket.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 12/04/2019 10:54

A colouring book as a main birthday present sounds a bit meagre, if I'm honest. But I am guessing he receives all the big-ticket items (bike, scooter, tablet, skateboard, etc) throughout the year, when he needs them. Other people give those items as birthday/Christmas gifts, so it looks more generous, but I imagine the amount spent is the same in the end.

MotherOfTheNoise · 12/04/2019 10:55

Our children got things they needed when they were little (highchairs at Christmas etc.) and a few small gifts. As they really just liked playing with the boxes anyway.

They're now 5 & 6 and we got them a box of arts and crafts for around £20 and a bike each. It's more than enough when they have lots of extended friends and family who buy them presents as well.

For birthdays we take them out for the day (zoo, water park, Legoland) and get them a few small presents and possibly something from the gift shop on the way out.

ImportantWater · 12/04/2019 10:59

We would get ours one present but they would also get a present “from” their sibling. Then they also get gifts from two sets of grandparents, three aunts, and a family friend as well as whoever comes to their party. I think your approach is fine.

SoyDora · 12/04/2019 10:59

A colouring book and pens is the sort of thing DD’s classmates bought her for her last birthday (she’s 5 and had an all class party). She got some lovely crayons with her name engraved on and colouring book from one friend.

pusspuss9 · 12/04/2019 11:01

Totally agree with pp that a wok is a household item unless you are very hard up. I have to say that when I read the original post and a wok was mentioned as the main present I was thinking 'huh'??

Original poster
00100001 · 12/04/2019 11:01

cloudyy What should I have done then, bought him stuff for the sake of it? More junk and presents for the sake of presents? Just to
"not be tight"? Confused The boy has plenty of "stuff" - he isn't living in some barren room with a thin blanket and a tatty book and a pebble to keep him entertained. :/

OP posts:
SoyDora · 12/04/2019 11:02

Does he have a mobile phone or games console OP?

EnglishRose1320 · 12/04/2019 11:02

Surely it's a case of what works for the individual family. I would say their is no right or wrong but I guess extremes in any situation can be problematic, not giving anything ever or massively over giving can lead to separate issues but pretty much the rest of the scale in-between seems fine to me.
It's clear the gifts were given with love and were well thought, that's the main thing. My son had a waffle maker one year, still loves it and uses it now many years later.

My younger son will turn 9 in the next couple of weeks.
His main present is a selection of second hand skylanders- the ones he wants aren't new any more.
His brother is giving him 2 dvds
My parents are giving him a Lego set
His other granny a selection of bits including a book, a pair of flip flops and a garden toy.

To me that seems ample to others I'm sure it won't seem much, to some too much. I'd love it if it was less tech focused but I know the Skylanders will be played with as figures in imaginative games as much as they will on the playstation. Or at least I hope they will.

I do include the cost of his treat, this year he has picked bowling, I think it's important that children understand money and that it's not endless, so the price of the treat will impact the amount spend on presents.

nancy75 · 12/04/2019 11:04

Does he have a mobile phone & other tec stuff that most teens have?

Original poster
00100001 · 12/04/2019 11:05

So, why is buying a wok different to buying clothes/trainers? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
00100001 · 12/04/2019 11:06

nancy75 yes, he has a S8, an iPad mini.

And we have a household PS4 and PC.

OP posts:
nancy75 · 12/04/2019 11:09

The kind of trainers I buy for Dd are definitely the kind of things kids want rather than need, she’s already got trainers, birthday ones are another pair to add to the collection.

nancy75 · 12/04/2019 11:10

How did the phone / iPad come about, were they a birthday/ xmas gift or just something you bought not at a special time?

youngestisapsycho · 12/04/2019 11:11

If my chisd was into cooking and wanted a wok, I would have bought one as a general item for the kitchen.... not as their birthday present.

Original poster
00100001 · 12/04/2019 11:13

Phone - started off as a good moto when he was 12, he saved up for the S8 and bought it for himself with money given and earned. We will be buying him a new phone for sixth form.
iPAD was actually a vendor gift from DHs work and we gave it to DS just because. Not for an occasion/gift.

OP posts: