Nice little things people did for you as a child.

[sunshinelollipopsrainbows]

I grew up with just my dad who was abusive and I went into care as a teen. I now have 3 little ones of my own and I often feel a bit lost as I have nothing to emulate. It probably sounds stupid but it's a sore point for me.

What little things did your parents or family do for you that were special or thoughtful which you still remember now?

May be a bit young but when i go home my mum leaves some fruit and treats in my room. Its lovely.

When younger, i got a whistle lolly from the shop she had been at work.

You sound like a lovely mum.

I have lovely memories of baking with my mum, being allowed to lick the spoon a highlight :)

You sound like a lovely mum and as long as your children know they are loved then that goes a long way! I always knew that both my parents were interested in me and I and their support.

Little loving things could be putting a hot water bottle in the bed for me when it was cold. Reading stories at bedtime making silly voices. Baking. Being allowed to choose some sweets if a kids film was on a Saturday night. Warming PJ’s on the radiator. It’s showing you have been thought of doesn’t have to be anything that costs.
You sound lovely though just thinking what you could do for them.

Ahh stuff like she would make my favourite tea and made it a big thing that she knows it’s my favourite so she thought I would like it. Made me feel special.

I put a little note into my little ones lunch box with a love heart and kisses from mummy, missing you. Kind of thing.

My older child was very very challenging behaviour wise, I struggled to like him most of the time BUT every single night at bed time, we would have 3 stories and i would tell him 3 things about him that day that had made me smile or proud of him.
Some days it was “didn’t you breath well today” because that was all I could think of on truly horrendous days.
Mostly it was little things he did or said or if he did something that I asked of him on the 2nd or 3rd time instead of the 40th!
That, I know helped to reassure him that I always knew he did good, not always negative.

If I get them some new socks or a little chocolate bar for example, I hide them somewhere and set them on a treasure hunt.

I am affectionate towards them but my older (difficult) child hated anything that meant touching or holding or cuddling him so I would rub his head as that was allowed.

Always tried to be at plays, parents evening, assemblies etc. Made sure they saw us.

Lots of stuff.

What a lovely idea for a thread (and sorry to hear about what prompted it). I think the most important thing is to talk to your children and to really listen to them. That’s more important than anything. Some other little ideas though are... family rituals for Christmas Eve, Halloween, Easter etc. Doesn’t matter what they are - just repeat them each year! A story at bedtime (continuing into secondary school if they’ll let you). Days out - doesn’t need to be expensive - picnics in the park etc. Baking. Board games.

Eurocamp when I was 11. The family next to us were very nice and the father worked for compaq, he spent time telling me how they test laptops and gave me a great book (Good Omens by Prattchet and Gaiman).

Neighbour when we were younger built me a proper wooden go cart

Neighbours when we were older let me take their dogs for walks

Physics teacher who got me interestdd in Duke of Edinburgh and introduced me to the first person to employ me as an adult.

Vest and pants on the paraffin heater in the morning in winter. Always a fuss on birthdays and a (bloody difficult) treasure hunt with clues at Easter and in the summer holidays. Being allowed to choose the brand of toothpaste we bought (aquafresh 3!) when there was enough money. Sunday tea in front of the fire; allowed to toast crumpets with a toasting fork. Stroked my head while I was going to sleep. Singing in the car - all the way, every journey, always a musical, full book, all the way through.

I used to go for walks with my grandad and collect things in a tin - catkins, acorns, stones, shells, pine cones. He also taught me how to read a map when I was very young.

When I had my tonsils out, my dads best friend went to an ice cream parlour near us, and bought me one scoop of every flavour - 32 flavours!

My big brother used to make me cinnamon toast for a snack in the winter.

This one was my Dad: always took out a bag of pennies and two p coins when we went for a walk and dropped them so we could search for 'Roman gold'.

My grandma raised me, if I walked home from school in the rain she would always have a hot chocolate and a bath ran for me. We would make xmas cakes together.
She taught me how to make pastry, fond memories of rubbing in butter and flour.
We would shell peas together on a Sunday before lunch.
She called me her treasure and brused my hair in the front room after a bath. (I'd forgotten some of these, she died 3 years ago and I'm really missing her lately - thank you)

Read me a story and put me to bed every night.

Always go to school plays and parents evenings.

Make sure I had the things I needed. A tea towel to be the shepherd in the nativity play r a calculator for my GCSEs.

Tell me stories about when I was young or about other people in the family. What Auntie did in the war or how my mum learnt to ride a bike. It doesn't have to be fascinating. It just gives you a sense of belonging. Our favourite story growing up was about my granny taking soap powder coupons to the corner shop and deciding if she should swap them for a tureen or soup bowls. 'Granny, tell us again about the soup bowls'.

When I was sick my mum would bake my favourite bread and serve it with loads of blackberry jam on it. It always made me feel better.
Every time it snowed she would make hot chocolate and whipped cream from scratch.
When I came home from uni she always made my favourite meal the first night home. She did that for all of us.

crosser what a lovely post, thank you, your perspective helps with my own challenging child.

What a beautiful idea for a thread

My dm didn't have much money but she'd stretch the money. We would picnic dinners in the house, on a blanket in the living room. Bread, cheeses, cucumber sticks, dips, pate, ham etc. What I didn't realise was she go to Safeway at closing time and pick everything up in the reduced section and feed us for less than £2. The best of memories on a Saturday night watching Blind Date, Gladiator, Noel Edmund's House party etc

One thing I loved as a kid was making popcorn (either microwave or even better in a pan) for when we would watch a film. Seemed like such a huge treat (but so easy from an adult perspective!)

unexpected days out (seaside usually)- I can still remember the excitement of being woken up really early by mum and told we were off as soon as I was dressed. Looking back they must have been up for ages packing a picnic and getting all our stuff ready so we could just jump in the car and go.

when I was older, always being there if I needed practical help (even if it meant dropping what they were planning to do) eg. taking me to university, giving me lift wherever I needed to go.

Encouraging me when anything went wrong and supporting me even if I made a foolish decision.

I don't seem to remember much of this sort of thing, though I'm sure there must be.

Lovely GPS used to take us on long walks every visit, by rivers and woods, and GF would teach me the birds names.

Only positive memory I have of my DF is a bedtime story he made up and kept going for a while.

DM would do activities with us like making holly garlands at Xmas, or we'd build bonfires together, but I don't remember her doing anything specifically to make us feel loved. I enjoyed those activities, so those hold good memories.

My parents always told us they loved us and were proud of us. There was never pressure to excel as long as we tried our best.

My Nan used to let me have a go at her craft sets, making jewellery and Christmas decorations. I knew it was expensive stuff so it felt like such a privilege to try to make bits.

As a family we would all sit at the dinner table every night and we all took it in turns to say things about our day. Even the littlest one got to have a go which made us all feel very important. We were allowed to have a sip of wine too which we loved!

Hot chocolate when you get in like drowned rats from a soggy school run! Pancakes at the weekend. My dad always did a fantastic Easter Egg hunt round our house. Fireworks and sparklers in the garden on bonfire night.

My grandad used to peel grapes for my mum .

Mum used to make food we liked a lot, warm PJs, story and tuck up in bed, hot water bottle, cosy blanket on the sofa when poorly. She used to play lots with me and DBro - I remember her being Ming the Merciless on occasion. Also board games.

Mum is still fab- a fab grandma too, and I try to do stuff like that for the DC.

My GM used to tip her savings elephant (Halifax?) of change out every time we visited, and it was our job to help her count it. We loved it! She put 20p/50ps in between our visits and would pay it in to the bank after we left.
She also let us play with her jewellery box and try in her necklaces, which felt like a huge treat.

(I think it’s worth adding that obviously these are just the highlights! Every family has good moments and bad moments, really important not to beat yourself up for the bad ones.)

I remember every Saturday evening we’d go to the early evening church service then walk home together, when we got home we’d have steak and chips for tea and I’d get to stay up and watch blind date, you bet and gladiators.
On a Sunday it would be full English first thing and a roast every week.

I try to make sure I’m at all the school events and all their work is done for school and books read so they don’t have the embarrassment in class.
I put their pjs on the radiator in winter so they’re toasty when they get out of the bath.
We bake whenever they want.
I pick them up a little treat for watching our Saturday night film.

All little things but I’d like to think they’ll remember them when they’re older.

The fact that you’re even thinking about this tells me you’ll be fine and your children will have a great childhood!