Nice little things people did for you as a child.

[sunshinelollipopsrainbows]

I grew up with just my dad who was abusive and I went into care as a teen. I now have 3 little ones of my own and I often feel a bit lost as I have nothing to emulate. It probably sounds stupid but it's a sore point for me.

What little things did your parents or family do for you that were special or thoughtful which you still remember now?

So does it prevent no deal from happening completely?

Are you on the right thread @horehound?

I also thought what a lovely post from Crosser. Made me feel quite emotional...

Letting me lick the cherry cake batter off the spoon, greeting me and my brighter at the school gates with Penny sweets after a good week, plaiting my hair into tiny rows so that I could have crimped mermaid hair.

Oh my granny was wonderful. So many things.

Walking in the countryside and always stopped to talk to cats/horses/cow/donkeys etc. Also picked blackberries or mushrooms or whatever was in season and took it home to make a pie or something. Licking the spoon.
Warm pyjamas and next guys clothes left on radiator to be warm ready for school the next day.
Staying up late when I stayed at her house and being allowed to watch casualty and blind date 😊 she dies 10 years ago and I watched casualty randomly one evening recently and saw Charlie and Duffy getting married ! And I so wanted to ring granny and tell her as she always wanted them to ❤️ They much have been in it for 30 years!!!

So much delicious food. Which I loved. When I stayed over night in hospital the food always reminds me of grandparents.

‘Granny’s day out’. Each grandchild had a special day in the summer holidays where granny would take them out, for a treat. Just them. I loved it .

Warmed up my PJ's. I loved it and now my 2 do too.

Sorry if repeating anything as emotional reading the thread and had to stop. Not long lost my darling Mum.

Sorry half the post seems to have gone....

Also said...

Looking back I get now the sure energy that she put into me. I can understand that it was a big deal all the swimming lessons and brownies etc etc I did especially as we didn't have a car. My DH get exhausted by it all. At the time though you don't get all that but I did get that she was very proud of me and that I was special.

You asking shows that you do that too.

Ah so many things but my favourite was as a teen/ even when home from uni my mum would put a hot water bottle in my bed for when I came in late

I was only told years later, but when I was maybe 9 or 10 some lovely neighbours looked after my small aquarium while we were away. During that time one of the fish (a catfish) died, and apparently they had to trawl umpteen pet shops to find a very similar replacement, so that I wouldn't be upset.

my mum was often frustrated and impatient with us when we were kids though I am sure she did her best, she was very young having me and money was often tight in the early years. My sibling was born 6 years later and things improved so had a vastly different childhood to me in most ways and was far more indulged.

My dad told bedtime stories every night and sneaked me up take-away chinese food late at night if he brought any home, I loved eating that little plate of food in the dark with just the light from the landing.

My mother used to put extra blankets or costs over us during the night if it was very cold weather

I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and I loved them as they had time to give me attention when my mother was busy with my baby sibling etc

With my own dd I think I have probably ruined her! I do LOADS of little things for her and always have. I put her uniform on the radiator every morning in winter and bring her breakfast in bed (ulterior motive as it makes all our mornings go smoother and there is no fighting with her to get her out of bed)

I buy her favourite snacks and make meals she loves very regularly & i write her fav recipies in a special notebook which will be hers when she grows up
I sit and chat with her and find out about her day
I tell her I love her all the time

Tell them you love them.
Let them be themselves, not what you think they should be or what you want them to be.
Listen to them.
Help them when they need it.

I loved the little things but they were mostly from grandparents as they had the time to spend with me. As others have said, teaching things like baking - I still remember the tips that my grandmother patiently went through with me, my grandad holding my hand and teaching me how a 'gentleman' behaves - he was so chivalrous :) My Dad used to let me just sit next to him and watch TV when something was up without pressing me as to what was up. I think it comes down to patience, listening and teaching/passing on skills.

When I was a child I was an incredibly fussy eater (literally only ate rice crispies and toast) that wasn’t handled well at all by any of the adults in my life. It caused huge amounts of anxiety for me on a daily basis. We had family friends we would go to visit on a monthly or so basis and that was the one place I knew I would be sitting down to eat with not a single word said about the bowl of rice crispies in front of me while everyone else ate a Sunday roast. It was heaven. No-one side eyed me as I ate, no-one telling me I would turn into a Rice crispie, no-one saying I was an oddball or trying to put onions on my plate. Nothing. They pretended I was eating just like them without even saying a word. They were lovely people.

What a lovely thread! You sound like a truly amazing Mum op!

My fav things:

Walking with my mum and dog (just us for once)
Warmed up PJs on the radiator
Crisps!
Making things at Christmas

My dd's fav things:

Me snuggling into bed with them at bedtime and telling them stories and staying twice as long as I should!
Making dens and having a picnic
Baking cakes and biscuits
Jumping in the car and just deciding on the spot where we will go, and heading off for the day. Sometimes to the beach or somewhere random.
Massages after bath with spa music
Listening to them
Golden days - days chosen by just for them

It’s the little things, the fact that you’re thinking of them OP shows how lovely you are.

My mum was a single parent and money was tight, she worked a lot.
But she taught me how to make jam, we read stories, played finger puppets, we chose a new bauble for the tree every Christmas, she was just there, with me, for my childhood.

Baking with my Grandma and walks at the big park with my Grandad and picking the brambles. Baking with Grandma has given me a life long love of baking, and I really cherish the memories of being in the park with my Grandad.

Im really glad I made this thread. One to look at when it feels like there's only bad in the world.

I remember that my mum would me a bowl of Heinz chicken soup with s&v crisp butties when I was ill. Not sure why but this was always the go to meal to make us feel better.

I remember my Auntie taking me to Chester Zoo. It was a really hot day & we got attacked by wasps.

My Uncle would bring me stickers for my sticker book. I'd always get excited when I knew he'd be visiting. I didn't really understand as a child just how thoughtful that he would take the time to do that.

Could probably think of more but these are what sprung to mind.

I think what really stands out is the posters are remembering times when their parents made them feel cherished, like they were worthwhile in their own right. There are so many ways of showing a child that they are valued as a person; that even when they've mucked up and made mistakes, they are corrected with consideration for their feelings, so they aren't made to feel belittled, humiliated or worthless by being sneered at with contempt and scorn. Same with their efforts: if you can view their work, or their attempts to learn something new, with positivity rather than criticism, they will feel that they are worthy of appreciation and praise.

If you can treat your dcs as people who deserve respect and consideration, you will be the best mother you could be to them. All the other things, the little meaningful gestures that say to a child "I'm thinking of you with love" will boost their self esteem and enable them to shrug off the adversity that life throws at them. Together with emphasising the importance of their education, what more can you do for them? It isn't money that matters, it's the gestures that say "You mean so much to me"...

OP

There are so many lovely ways my parents and grandparents treated me, so much love, kindness and respect. I had a wonderful childhood, lots of special treats (not expensive) just fun, picnics after school, boat rides, all day board game marathons, birthday meals out (Berni Inn ). Day trips to London with ‘spendingmoney’, my grandmother used to trail around Kensington Market and the original Biba store with me in the 70s., I am her age now and can think of nothing worse than a day trip to London with a teenager.

I recently found my teenage diaries (shocking) yet my mother put up with so much, I have a teen myself now and would be disappointed if he behaved like I used to .

Just thought of something else, years ago I had to go to court for a minor offence, my mum turned up afterwards, not condoning what had happened and recognising that I had to accept the punishment, but gave me a lovely bouquet with the words, we will always love and support you.

Mum and Dad used to share a mars bar after dinner and would always leave a little piece by my bedside for the morning.

I am very fortunate as my parents are still in good health (late 80s now) and I am 60 but they are still so very, very kind to me. I just phoned to invite them out for a weekend meal, they sounded so thrilled to be invited and immediately said ‘you must let us pay’, obviously we won’t.

I am so grateful to have such loving parents, I struggle to be as good a mum to my own child.

There are some lovely posts on here. It's making me feel quite emotional! Like PPs say, it's that feeling of someone having time for you, and making you feel valued and cared for. That's everything really.

@wanderings sorry I've only just seen your post - I can't remember how we took turns - tbh, I seem to remember my dad always being "it"!

When I was 21, I had left my then husband, and was in a refuge with my PFB who was 9 months old.
XH was the son of a childhood friend of my Mam, and could do no wrong in her eyes.
My Dad came to see me, and he was the most taciturn and undemonstrative man ever, but he brought me a little bunch of daffodils, a bar of chocolate, and emptied his pockets to give me every penny he had on him.
I don't remember him ever saying he loved me, but I never ever doubted it, because he showed it every way he could, all his life.

What a lovely thread!

I enjoyed surprise trips to the seaside.
Kids' Saturday morning pictures.
Trips to the library.

What a lovely thread, I love the story about you and your sisters, @HalfBloodPrincess

My mum would sit and draw with me. She read stories to me. She made me toys out of scraps of cloth. Cups of hot chocolate after a cold walk.
She'd bake a cake on Sundays and my dad and I would get a coal fire going, then we'd sit and watch Sunday night TV and eat cake by the fire.

My parents were very far from perfect but they did make some efforts. I try very hard to be a good parent to my DC as my parents were often very neglectful (so it was nice to remember that stuff.)

For DC I:
Make their favourite breakfast before a big day like an exam.
Make their favourite dinner if they've been away on a camping or school trip, so they come home to their favourite food.
Played silly games with them on car journeys, walks and while they were in the bath when they were small.
Read them a story every night.
Bundle them up in blankets and make cocoa on rainy days, then we watch a film together.
Put on silly voices and pretend to be their teddy bear or another toy, messing around, just to make them laugh.
Talk to them a lot about their dreams. On walks we discuss what you'd do with a million pounds or what your dream job would be. Just to get ideas of what is important to them.
Sometimes I'd surprise them, like bidding on something on Ebay for them which I knew they wanted but couldn't afford. Or, once they were older (tweens) booking earlybird tickets to music festivals if their favourite bands were playing, and then taking them along.

Making sure they have lots of classic fun childhood experiences like going to the fair, the seaside, the circus, the panto, building sandcastles, dens and damming streams, climbing a tree and a hill, learning to swim and ride a bike.

Things my parents never bothered with but I do, are more the basic everyday things that make a child feel loved and cared for. I make sure they:
have clean clothes that fit
shoes that fit
shower or bath daily
clean teeth twice a day
have warm coats
have the right kit if going away with school or cubs
have the right medicines if ill
have at least some of the latest craze toys or clothes, so that they can fit in if they want to
have pocket money
clean comfortable beds
proper care of their pets

Lots of other good things on this thread. Definitely warm their clothes on the radiator before school.
Never chuck them out of your bed if they come in for a cuddle at night or at any time really. My teenage DSs still come and lie on my bed for a chat and cuddle late at night.