Nice little things people did for you as a child.

[sunshinelollipopsrainbows]

I grew up with just my dad who was abusive and I went into care as a teen. I now have 3 little ones of my own and I often feel a bit lost as I have nothing to emulate. It probably sounds stupid but it's a sore point for me.

What little things did your parents or family do for you that were special or thoughtful which you still remember now?

When I was primary school age, every payday my mum would go into the bookshop next door to her office and treat me to a new book. I used to love it when she'd walk through the door with a little blue carrier bag.

Comforted me all the way through my bullying let me me drop to sleep on her lap whilst she stroked my hair there wasnt much money but that never seemed to matter it was just a loving environment and looking back somethings she didnt wasnt the best idea but both mum and dad tried so hard everyday

My Dad used to sing 'You are my Sunshine' to me every night before bed.

My parents were abusive, but when I was about 13, the leader of a drama club I went to said to me: "You're a very pretty and talented girl and I think you will go far". I had never heard anything like it before and I couldn't quite believe it. It gave me such a confidence boost. I wish I could tell her how much it meant to me (though she may be disappointed that I'm not terribly successful after all, but I'm doing OK!).

The little things (a mix of my mum with me and me with my DDs):

Baking together and getting to lick the spoon;
Her offering to make me a cup of tea (we usually had to make the drinks);
Having a lie-in;
Trips to town and having a coffee;
Watching a favourite film or TV series together;
Going for walks in the woods;
Sending the odd £5 for a cuppa;
Reading stories together, even when they were teenagers;
Sharing jumpers and fleeces;
Silly speak - we like to play with words;
Blanket fort;
Sittingroom picnics (when the weather was bad);
Extra snuggles and lying on the sofa with a blanket when poorly (and lucozade add a rare treat).

I’m very sorry for your childhood, but what a lovely Mum you sound and what a great thread 🌷

I think the ‘every day caring’ stuff is the most important. The stuff kids don’t even notice or appreciate - until they’re much older and realise that actually that isn’t norm for everyone. It wasn’t until I was in We’re in London in a very family-have place - he would 100% run into other children and probably babies.
my 30’s and on Mumsnet that I really had a much better childhood than so many. We didn’t have a lot of money when I was little and my mum hadn’t had a good childhood, but I didn’t know any of that. We had friends, we had family and we had each other. I felt loved.

My mum played with me wth my plasticine (yep I’m that old!) and we walked around the long way to my Nana’s (Dad’s mum) so we could feed the ducks on the way.

My Dad would take us swimming & roller skating and chase us around.

We’d build furniture together and he’d let us ‘help’ to paint the walls and even the do the gloss on the door frames. He always let us help, even thought it took him at least twice as long because he loved us and wanted to be with us, teach us.

Mum would put our clothes in front of the heater to warm up.

Dad would carry us in from the car after an evening out.

I could blather on for hours, but my point is that THOSE are the every day things that made me who I am. That made me feel loved, safe, secure. But as a child I just thought everyone’s parents were the same, I didn’t appreciate it, but in a way THAT was the gift.

My Mum’s Mum died when she was a small child, but she was a great mum - you can be too 🌷

My mum used to listen to the random teenage dramas while I "helped" as she made dinner. Nonsense that must have seemed utterly ridiculous to her as an adult, but she made appropriate sympathetic noises and it made me feel like my stresses were worth listening to.

My step-dad ironed my school shirts when he did his every morning. Such a small thing, and not totally appreciated as a teen, but with hindsight it was one of a million little things that made me feel like he cared.

In primary school my grandad used to pick me and my brother up from school cause our parents were working. He'd tell us to open "the dragons cave" which was the glove compartment and there was always a freddo and a taz there waiting for us!
When we got back to his house he'd turn a seat towards the radiator and tell me to sit on it and pushed me right up against it so I could get all cosy and he'd put cartoons on for me and then bring me a tray which consisted of "a mixture" (two slices of bread cut into 4 squares each all with a different jam on them!) And some chopped nuts and chcolate.

Was fab!

Ah you sound such a lovely mum. Mine are mostly from my dad (despite my parents being together still!):
We'd go for a walk on a Sunday afternoon just the two of us (I had a lot of siblings so one on one time was nice) and he'd listen to me waffling on. He'd also hold my hand inside his coat pocket to keep it warm.
We had great holidays too, not abroad but just lots of fun and undivided attention without the usual work/life stresses.
Sitting on the sofa with his arm round me watching the TV.

This makes me remember lots of things my Dad just used to do for me that made me feel loved.
I always had trouble sleeping and would lie there terribly bored so he would sing me songs in the dark, old fashioned ones like Mona Lisa.
When he would bake a pie or a jam tart for the family he would make me my own in miniature with my initial in pastry on the top.
When I was a teen he would always wait for me at the bus-stop when I got the late bus home. All the lads on the bus used to look out for him and wave and cheer when they saw him.
Lots of happy memories of just spending time hanging out not doing anything special, just being in the same room doing our own thing but in companionable quiet. I miss him.

My dm used to listen to all my stories from school. Always remembered my friends and who is who. But what l mainly remember was just her always being there. Steady out.
Same with my dad. It's the security of having them just be around .
With my own ds l played a game at bed time saying nothing would stop me loving him. He loved to come up with mad suggestions......not even if l...and l would insist ...no not even that.
When he became a teen he surely tested me on that as he did things l hadn't imagined but he came through and we are great friends now.
Bedtime stories/ little walks with them separately so they get time to themselves.
You will be a good mother. Don't doubt yourself.

Well timed thread. DH and I had different imperfect childhoods and we had a long chat about the fact we’re probably over compensating. DH makes sure to buy Ds everything he asks for and I do everything he asks. I’m aware it’s not great parenting but we’re trying really hard to change the past. I’m hoping that it’ll all come out in the wash.
It’s good to hear people remember the effort their parents made.

In the winter my parents always warmed my coat in front of the fire before I left for school.

My dad always bought me a comic on a Thursday night - Twinkle, then Bunty, Look in and Jackie.

I'm sure she did so many things I just dont remember. Find memories of the charity shop
Reading her childhood favourite books
Baking
Playing frisbee
Puzzles
We had plenty of home videos to watch back as well which I love now I'm older and can't remember the times
Music on and dancing like idiots me mum and my brother

OP it doesn't sound silly at all. It's a very true fact that children who have been in the care system often struggle with parenting because they had no one to show them how it should be done. I just wanted to reassure you that the fact you have broken the cycle (and really, it so often is a cycle) in itself is great parenting.

All of the above suggestions are lovely. My son is adopted and was in care for 13months from birth. I love bomb him on a daily basis - first thing in the morning and last thing at night so he always starts the day and ends the day knowing how loved he is.

bed on the sofa when poorly and chicken noodle soup. Or cream of chicken. Warm squash on a winters day and a boiled egg.

Cooking together. Mum was a dreadful baker but a bloody good cook and she taught me loads. I would make her pretend we were on a cookery show and she’d do a stupid voice with me.

Lots of cuddles and love and warmth. My mum married a bit of a dud but she was a wonderful
Mum. She’s dead now but I miss her very much.

My great gran had a little antique bowl with fairies on it on her side table. Every time I visited her as a child there would be 20p and some chocolate in it. Apparently the faries knew I was about to visit
Every Saturday I helped my Gran make cakes.
On a Sunday I used to go for a walk with my Grandad and Uncle while my Gran made a big Sunday lunch.

My mum was a single parent. I’m the oldest and every few weeks or so on a weekend, when she was putting us to bed she used to whisper to me ‘don’t go to sleep - when your sisters are asleep you can come downstairs and watch a film with me’
It made me feel so special that she wanted to spend that time alone with just me! I got something the others didn’t! We had pate on toast, pink wafers, cakes, and a fizzy drink! It was our little secret.

It was only when we was in our 20s that we realised she took it in turns with the three of us, so we all grew up keeping it a secret from each other 🤣

When I was 5 my granny toasted slices of baguette and fried two quails eggs to make me a mini breakfast. I was wowed by it. When I went to stay she would leave a tiny soap or some Babybels on my pillow.

My mum made me butterfly cakes every birthday - even as an adult, up until she sadly passed away. When I was little and we were watching tv I always remember her absent mindedly playing with my hair. I remember her cool hand on my forehead when I was ill/ had a temperature. She wasn’t the most effusive but she was loving, she’d tell me ‘you’re the best thing since sliced bread.’ :)

My mum used to buy us little somethings every couple of weeks nothing big just rubbers, handkerchiefs, a purse, some hair bobbles but it was always really nice :)

We had a special blanket that only came out if somebody was poorly. I felt so loved and special if that came out!

I remember my parents saving up pennies, and giving them to me to spend as I wished in the amusement arcade if we went to the seaside.

I remember my mum coming to watch me play in every game for the Year 6 netball team.

I used to get terrible earache, and I remember her sitting up with me through the might singing songs (Oh My Darling Clementine, and Michael Finnegan spring to mind!) to take my mind off it.

My mum would warm up our coats and wellies in winter when we were little, in front of the fire or later on on the radiator. It was so nice to have that extra toasty warmth wrapped round you as you went out into the cold.
When I was about 9 I felt really, really ill at school and when my mum came to pick me up I remember her snuggling me into her as we walked along, all the way home, which must have been very awkward for her but has stayed in my mind for nearly 30 years as making me feel so looked after and loved.
My dad does not cook, except sometimes he would make a cooked breakfast. I was vegetarian from childhood and he would arrange cucumber and tomato into lovely shapes and patterns on my plate instead of all the meat stuff he was doing for other people.
My dad also took me to a Bon Jovi concert when I was a 14 year old megafan and did not complain at all even once, not even when he got pulled from the line and searched by security or when he started to get sunburnt I had to lend him my shirt to wear as a sunhat.
My mum and dad would probably not have the same answers if asked what lovely things they did for me. It's funny what stays with you. I have a bunch of other memories of them being lovely and funny and kind (and a bunch of them thwarting and annoying and embarrassing me!) but for some reason the ones I've mentioned above really stand out.