What vs. Pardon

[CruCru]

Recently someone (not a parent) corrected my child when they said “What?” and said “Do you mean pardon?” (The child didn’t say “what” rudely).

I was always taught that you must only say “Pardon” if you’ve burped or farted. Otherwise “What?” is correct.

Perhaps it would sound better to say “Sorry, what was that?” but I’d really rather my child didn’t say “Pardon” when they mean “what”.

Obviously I didn’t say anything at the time because it wouldn’t have been appropriate and I would have seemed like a loon.

What do you think?

I think it sounds like something from 40 years ago. She knew exactly what he meant by "what" so unless he said it rudely or aggressively there shouldn't be a problem. "what", "pardon", "excuse me", "i'm sorry?" - who gives a shit?

Personally, I think pulling others up on their etiquette is the height of bad manners.

I'd personally say "sorry?" (whilst not apologising obviously). Otherwise I'd say what.

I would never say pardon. If I burped I'd say excuse me.

I think people who say what instead of pardon do sound rude, but I wouldn't correct a stranger over it.

I know that what was considered more U previously but generally when you hear someone saying what it's more of a "whaaa" and sounds rather bovine.

I say "I'm sorry?" I'm not bothered by What?, but I can't bear my DC saying Pardon. DD had a Y3 teacher who insisted the class use Pardon, which annoyed me.

Eh?

It's "What?" in our house.

Both you and the other parent are a bit daft for caring about which of two perfectly polite ways of indictating you haven't heard something is more "correct".

I say what and hate myself for cringing when I hear pardon.

We are a non pardon house due to me reading too much Nancy Mitford as a teen and having a grand grandmother who wouldn’t countenance pardon

It’s up to other people if they choose to say”pardon” but I’m a bit irritated (although not enraged) by someone telling my child to say it.

It's one of those very minor British things that basically are seen as class indicators - saying 'what' is posher than saying 'pardon', but people always think the one they have grown up with is polite and other people are being rude or incorrect.

We are a non pardon house due to me reading too much Nancy Mitford as a teen and having a grand grandmother who wouldn’t countenance pardon

Quote Jilly Cooper's (fictional?) child on 'pardon' being a worse word than 'fuck' at the corrector, OP?

I'm not bothered by U/non-U shibboleths, but I loathe 'pardon', which has something mealymouthed and Uriah Heep-ish about it.

I agree others can say what they like but don’t teach my kid to say pardon

I'd be a bit miffed if someone else corrected my child on something like that 😂😡😂. I don't mind them prompting her to say please/thank you though.

Thinking about it, my daughter says "what did you say?" I haven't particularly taught her her one way or another (she's nearly 3) but I think I must say "what did you say" as well and she's just copied.

I’d say “sorry?” or “what? I didn’t catch that”. Just a flat “what?” sounds a bit confrontational to me, it needs softening.

Pardon was a synonym for fart in our house though, so somebody asking me to say “pardon” as a child would have had me in fits of giggles. Like asking a child to say “bum” or some other vaguely rude word. It still sounds a bit silly to my ears.

To me "what?" (if you haven't heard what somebody said) sounds a bit abrupt and therefore rude although as an adult I've always been aware that people posher than me think it's better manners than saying "pardon?" which is what I was taught to say and which I in turn taught my dd to say.

I taught my dd to say either "pardon me" or "excuse me" after burping or farting.

My dd was told off at school for saying what instead of pardon. It was abroad so I got away with ‘in England people say what’ 😂

I hate pardon mainly because it’s very deferential and asking for forgiveness. I do not require forgiveness for not hearing what someone has said... or for farting.

I always been taught that "what" was at the same time both frightfully upper class and working class, but "pardon" is what the middle class with pretentions use.

Personally I think it's all a load of bollocks.

Pardon is lower middle. Hence the horrors when it’s taught to our kids!

I know that MN really truly believes that because Nancy Mitford once said so, it is correct to say ‘what’ instead of ‘pardon’, but frankly, it just makes you sound rude and gormless.

I'm not a native speaker but 'what' sounds very rude to me.
Except when it's to express a shock over something.

Ha ha, the other person is a nob for correcting in that context.

This is one of life's great unsolvable problems though - there's no perfect word/phrase.

I favour "Sorry what was that?" - although recently I seem to have adopted "Say again...?" (not sure where that fits in the class/societal spectrum...?)

I only say "pardon" in light-hearted situations, and it's normally "Ooh pardon" with a "Carry On" voice for comical effect

“What” is considered a bit blunt and therefore a little rude. Personally, I say “sorry?”.

Pardon is a bit old fashioned but what can come across in the wrong way sometimes. It is rude if you follow traditional manners.

It's what.