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Original poster

What vs. Pardon

92 replies

CruCru · 01/04/2019 17:11

Recently someone (not a parent) corrected my child when they said “What?” and said “Do you mean pardon?” (The child didn’t say “what” rudely).

I was always taught that you must only say “Pardon” if you’ve burped or farted. Otherwise “What?” is correct.

Perhaps it would sound better to say “Sorry, what was that?” but I’d really rather my child didn’t say “Pardon” when they mean “what”.

Obviously I didn’t say anything at the time because it wouldn’t have been appropriate and I would have seemed like a loon.

What do you think?

OP posts:

Nousernameforme · 01/04/2019 22:48

I grew up with pardon. With my own dc its either what excuse me or sorry.

I read somewhere that it's the same reason loo is acceptable but toilet is not. Because it's french and therefore vulgar.

33goingon64 · 01/04/2019 22:50

I'm totally confused now. We were brought up to say pardon and that 'what?' was rude. My parents are probably what you would call educated southern english middle class. DH parents are well spoken working class Welsh and insist pardon is rude and you should say sorry! DH told me the other day that pardon 'lacks class'. I laughed until I realised he was serious.

EleanorOalike · 01/04/2019 22:50

I do think “what?” sounds rude and abrupt. However, it iscommonly used amongst the upper classes. Pardon, to my ear, sounds very common and old fashioned. I wouldn’t even use it after a burp. I was taught to say “excuse me” in those instances, never pardon.

I’d not bring a child up to say “what?” as it doesn’t sound at all well mannered. I say “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?” which is rather a mouthful. I think “I didn’t hear you, sorry” or “please can you repeat that?” said politely is fine. But neither “what?” nor “pardon?” is great and I wouldn’t be at all suprised to be pulled up for saying “what?” as a child.

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Families

Minnie747 · 01/04/2019 22:53

I was, like other previous posters, always correctly by my grandmother “it’s what, not pardon”!

BecauseYouAreWorthIt · 01/04/2019 22:56

"Begging your pardon Sir"

It all sounds like something from a gone by era.

BackinTimeforBeer · 01/04/2019 22:58

I think correcting someone is so rude - should be the first rule of good manners. You understand what someone is trying to communicate and you move on.

3out · 01/04/2019 23:02

The Queen and family don’t say pardon (she told me ;) ). I’ve no idea what they say instead though.
I tend to say ‘sorry, I didn’t catch that’ or if it’s dh then ‘can you repeat exactly what you just said please?’ because if I say ‘sorry’ or ‘what was that’ then he always starts to explain what he meant by his last sentence but doesn’t actually repeat the last sentence, and then I’m still left clueless as to what he is talking about!

Finfintytint · 01/04/2019 23:06

In our house it's "say again" too ( police speak) or simply " I'm sorry, can you repeat, I didn't quite catch that". Anyone correcting this is a monumental knobber regardless of class.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 01/04/2019 23:10

Sil used to tell dn, "don't say 'what,' say 'pardon,'" and I used to tell my dcs, don't say 'pardon,' say 'what!"
Or rather, "sorry."

Noloudnoises · 01/04/2019 23:14

Debretts say it's 'what'. That's what upper classes use.

The worst is when pardon is pronounced: p'dn. with the emphasis on the DN

BackforGood · 01/04/2019 23:17

This question comes up every few months on here.

Which is where I found out there must be a divide (as I said on another thread yesterday) I don't know if it is to do with where in the country your were brought up, or your social class or educations or or your cultural background, or your age.

I was brought up to understand that "What?" is rude - really blunt - certainly not polite at all, and the 'right' thing to say if you want something repeated or clarified is "Pardon". If your body has made any noise you didn't want it to then you say "Excuse me".

But I understand that others are different.
Perhaps the person the OP refers to isn't a MNer ?

Blahdeblahbahhhhh · 01/04/2019 23:20

It’s old fashioned and was always a bit Mrs Bucket really.
“sorry, could you repeat/I didn’t hear” would be perfectly polite.
What? is not rude so much as informal I think.
Pardon actually sounds more rude to me. It’s what someone says when they don’t like what you've said and being aggressive about it!

bugeyedbarber · 01/04/2019 23:30

@MsTSwift

Same here.

Jilly Cooper wrote in her book about class about how in some circles saying "Pardon" was worse than saying "fuck"

AppleKatie · 01/04/2019 23:33

Pardon is definitely worse than fuck. It makes me cringe so hard and I would never say it.

Sadly for me my parents and sister keep correcting my DC and getting them to say pardon.

It might be the biggest inter familial class issue since the ‘serviette/napkin’ debate of 2006.

BecauseYouAreWorthIt · 01/04/2019 23:35

It might be the biggest inter familial class issue since the ‘serviette/napkin’ debate of 2006.

SlimGin · 01/04/2019 23:55

I've said pardon so much in my head now it doesn't seem like a real word. Never knew it was so divisive, I won't be using it again!
I was definitely taught as a kid it was more polite than 'what', though.

BertrandRussell · 02/04/2019 00:00

“Sorry, what did you say?” abbreviated to a politely said “what?” If you didn,t hear someone and “Pardon me” if you burp or fart or something is the “proper” way to do it. But it’s all bollocks, anyway.

PinkieTuscadero · 02/04/2019 00:02

Pardon never crosses my lips. It does sound so antiquated and apologetic. It's what poor put upon Bob Cratchett would meekly say to Scrooge. What or sorry are much better.

No problem saying toilet though.

Topseyt · 02/04/2019 02:53

What? isn't rude. It all depends on the tone of voice used. I would say what. I don't find it rude, and frankly, if others do then that is their problem rather than mine.

Pardon is very Victorian. I don't even like the sound of it.

sighrollseyes · 02/04/2019 03:17

Im trying to stop my 2 yo from saying "huh?" Lol!

MsTSwift · 02/04/2019 07:06

My dds are from a mixed family on this. In laws correct them to pardon, serviette, toilet, dessert. I grit my teeth and out of their hearing emphasise it’s what, napkin, loo and pudding.

BackinTimeforBeer · 02/04/2019 07:21

I think pardon sounds very nasal - I don't like saying it - I don't care if other people say it. I think "what' can sound rude but so can "pardon" or 'sorry" it all depends on tone and expression.But if you have been socialised to believe a word is rude then that is what you are going to believe but it's all nonsense.

Reddragonqueen · 02/04/2019 07:23

I don't mind my 4yo saying "what?" She sometimes says "pardon", she annoys me with "huh?" Though to which I reply "if you can't hear or understand someone you say?" And she'll say "pardon". She always says "pardon me" if she burps or pumps

picklemepopcorn · 02/04/2019 07:29

Excuse me- for burps etc.

Pardon? For when you can't hear someone.

I beg your pardon? (In a Lady Bracknell voice) for when you can't believe your ears!

longwayoff · 02/04/2019 07:36

Pardon is too Mrs Bucket but what? Can sound abrupt. I tend to say sorry I didnt hearthat or excuse me.

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