What vs. Pardon

[CruCru]

Recently someone (not a parent) corrected my child when they said “What?” and said “Do you mean pardon?” (The child didn’t say “what” rudely).

I was always taught that you must only say “Pardon” if you’ve burped or farted. Otherwise “What?” is correct.

Perhaps it would sound better to say “Sorry, what was that?” but I’d really rather my child didn’t say “Pardon” when they mean “what”.

Obviously I didn’t say anything at the time because it wouldn’t have been appropriate and I would have seemed like a loon.

What do you think?

Lounge? Mother "hotels have a lounge". Sniff.

I was brought up to understand that "What?" is rude - really blunt - certainly not polite at all, and the 'right' thing to say if you want something repeated or clarified is "Pardon". If your body has made any noise you didn't want it to wink then you say "Excuse me"

That was how I was brought up,too. I still say pardon now (I'm 54)

Yes, but the point people are making is that what you are brought up to believe is polite depends on your social class/the social class of those who taught you ‘manners’.

(There are, for instance loads of early 20th c novels with upper class parents bemoaning the fact that the nanny/governess was teaching their offspring her own lower-middle-class manners in the nursery/schoolroom — hence sending boys to public school and girls to be ‘ finished’.)

I don't agree, it depends really on whether or not you were brought up by a snob or not. An English snob at that.

From childhood I've used a complete mishmash of all of these and had no idea of any of the thinking behind whatever word I used until I was well into adulthood. Because my (very middle class, highly educated, one Scottish, one English) parents weren't snobs and didn't care. The only one of these words or phrases there was ever any comment on was, in fact 'what', and even then I can't remember if the comment came from my parents or school (fee paying).

I just think it sounds gormless at best, rude at worst.

What, pudding, loo, sitting room, napkin... etc
NOT
Pardon, dessert, toilet, lounge, serviette... (All try hard derived from French)

It’s only snobbery if you use it to discriminate against or disparage other people. Which, to be fair, it often is/was!

To just say 'what' is rude imo. I'd say 'Sorry I didn't catch what you said' or something similar.

I think I just say "what". Pardon is not a word that I would ever ever use.

My inlaws like to take the piss out of me for saying napkin. Perhaps I'm vair posh and just didn't realise it.

What here. Not because I am particuarly posh or snobbish, but, why would I believe I am anything but equal to the person I was asking? I beg no one. Maybe that is part of a marxist tendency, or snobby in itself?

DM used to try to correct to "beg your pardon" which would once have elicited a wtf stare. Now I like to annoy her by using my most northern sounding, "Eh!?!"

As kids we weren't allowed to say either. Anything but 'I beg your pardon?' (slightly less WTF if said very fast) would elicit stern words from my DF, who surprisingly enough was in most respects very jolly and easy-going.
Nowadays it's usually 'Sorry?'

We tend to use neither. It's "sorry?" for "what did you say?" and "excuse me" for something embarrassing.

I was brought up to say "pardon" by aspiring middle class parents, along with serviette, lounge etc. Since then, the internet has taken off, we've all found out that this was looked down on by the very poshest people in the country. I don't really feel the need to say "what?" or "napkin" just because they might, any more than I aspire to eat a pear with a knife and fork, or ensure all thank you letters are written by the lady of the house.

I think following Debrett's arcane rules blindly, in a very mainstream middle class life like mine, is today's "serviette". Polite is being respectful of all around you, treating them with consideration and never putting them in a position where they feel embarrassed.

What too me is rude (and until a thread yesterday/Sunday) I had no idea that there were class issues surrounding what/pardon.

I was always taught pardon, however I generally use sorry?

Unless it's my husband muttering from another room, then it's "What!?"...and meant with full irritation and usually followed with, "speak clearly or don't bother asking...even better come into the same room"

What, or I’m sorry, what? never pardon.
Odd, the things that stick from childhood, and those you discard.... my mother always said looking glass but I say mirror....

Sorry?

Much better.

But never serviette or lounge.

why?

Well - not sure this is exactly pertinent but is not "manners" making people feel comfortable " etiquette " can (used wrongly) make people feel uncomfortable.
Manners get my vote.