Money stolen from son’s wallet.

[mumof2littleguys]

So my 11 year old son just discovered that £300 has been stolen from his wallet in bedroom. All his hard earned money, Christmas money, birthday money. There was only £20 left? It’s driving me crazy. I know a friend has been in his room and my younger 8 year olds friend. Their doesn’t seem to be any other explanation? I have said I will give him the money back as he is so upset but it’s driving me crazy! Didn’t sleep last night and don’t want to think badly or think their friends took it! What would you do? 😢

No, I know your son knew how much was there, but did the other boy know?

I was thinking of something that happened at the supermarket the other day when the checkout operator was filling the till with notes. A woman in the queue said to her friend, "When I see so much money like that I just want to grab it" - not the best thing to say, really!

If they're better off I'd feel easier about asking them about it.

I used to like savings accounts in the olden days where you had a little book with a record of what's gone in and come out. It sounds as though that would suit your son more, but I doubt any bank does that now.

DS had a locking money cash tin, he always hid the key. He did not want to bank it either, he was 8. From now on your DS will want to bank it and has learnt a lesson. How sad for him though.

To know whether the "rich" remark is anything unusual, surely you have to know what has been said before. The fact your ds then picked the wallet off the shelf says to me there had been banter/comments about it. leading to that comment.
Maybe your ds had been saying "I've saved all this money," or "guess how much I've got saved".

I'd not think it was the friend from this. Surely if the friend had taken it then he wouldn't have wanted to draw attention to the money being missing while he was there. The money had gone before the "rich" comment as that's when the ds checked and found it missing.

If you want to check with the parents I would go more along the lines of "Ds has quite a bit of savings go missing from his room at some point. The boys were messing around a bit and joking about his savings, could you check he hasn't hidden it as a joke."

But why was £20 left? Was it in a different section, or was that the coins?
If it was just notes that would have been with the rest, then to me would point more to a younger child-thinking that if they left some money it might not be spotted.

What 11 year old has access to that amount of cash 😱

I don't see how you can speak to other children's parents when you haven't seen the cash for 6 weeks.

If you do, prepare to lose friendships with the parents & your child's friends

The whole story is a bit unbelievable really.

Not unbelievable. DS had birthday money, xmas money, squirrelled away in his money box. Granny always gave him a £50 note, he still has one she gave him years ago for sentimental reasons.

Don't know why anyone would say it was unbelievable? I had a cousin steal a similar amount from me, similar situation in that it was in a wallet in my room, only realised when we got to the airport a few days later and went to exchange our money (that's why there was a large sum in my wallet). I was only 16 or so, it was really scary. We did get the money back by narrowing down who it could have been and asking the cousin's parents.
Personally I would speak to the parents, in a way that makes it seem like you are asking lots of friends the same question.

LovingLola

I know!

It has happened. He has saved his
money and it has gone missing?

Really not sure how to proceed?

What 11 year old has access to that amount of cash

Once kids start asking for money instead of gifts (our family and friends always ask our children) for birthdays and Christmas, the money soon adds up. Then there is pocket money and some parents are happy to pay kids extra money to do jobs around the house.

SleepingSloth

Yes, exactly. It does mount up especially when your child saves. 😢

I’m not really in a position to just replace the money but I will over time . This has not made my son feel any better. He still feels sad and has said no mummy it’s not your fault. He has saved the money, has not spent it, it has disappeared.

I feel extremely sad for him and will replace over time.

Thanks for all your thoughts and ideas. It’s just something we BITH have to learn frim 😢

" £280 pounds has gone missing from the house.
We have looked everywhere and can not find it.
In order to claim for it on the house insurance, I need a crime number, so I'm going to have to report it to the police.
I'm informing you so you are not taken off guard if the police come to speak to your child"
Then I would just wait and see what happens

This is the perfect advice. No accusation but would probably prompt a discussion between child and parent who would be on the alert if said child suddenly seemed very flush.

Kindlethefourth

Wouldn’t they ask why police were contacting them?!

@HollowTalk - Nationwide still do those accounts!

I would understand being contacted and asked in a nice non accusatory if I could check for the money. I get that kids on impulse sometimes make bad choices so mine might.
That is a world away from being threatened with the police. I wouldn't let my dc near yours if that happened and I would have to bite my tongue not to warn other parents.
Added to which if you think the police are involved then owning up to having the money is a whole new ball game.
There are ways of asking but I cannot see threatening police involvement when you have so little information would be helpful.

@SleepingSloth

I understand how children can have that amount but not why any parent would allow them to have that much cash in their possession

I bank most of the Birthday & Christmas money my kids get. If they need it, I'll withdraw cash or transfer it to them

I wouldn't mind being told money had gone missing and asking my child if they had taken it.

@beenhereages1 I would like one of those accounts!

Why the victim blaming? And for the troll hunters, we had a huge amount of cash stolen by a visiting child years ago at my parents house. It was in a drawer in an upstairs bedroom, it’s the thief’s fault, not the child’s or the parents. The thief’s.

I very much agree with @dreichuplands. Telling them that the police may contact them, is saying that you've given them as a suspect. A nicely worded message asking them to check, shouldn't cause any offence at all.

Could it be siblings? My son went through a stealing stage and once stole all my Christmas money from a tin in my room. No-one else had been in there and he never admitted it but there was no way it could have been anyone else. I hope you resolve it as I know the feeling of feeling sick and anxious not knowing who the culprit is for sure (although technically I did)

Quertymcquerty Awww thanks. I do blame myself though. Had offered to bank it for him and kept telling him to put in drawer. We always thought it would be safe as we don’t have people going upstairs. I just don’t know what to think. Didn’t sleep at all wondering where it’s gone 😢

It’s definitely not his little brother. He worships his big brother and has some money although he does spend on things. There is no reason for him to want the money?