If you’ve got primary aged kids and work everyday how do you do it???

[OhDear2200]

I’ve just increased my work from 2 days a week to working everyday (only 2 full days rest just school hours).

I’m dying here! Housework, hobbies, homework, walking dog, attempting to keep fit.

Please give me your tips!

Will I just get used to it? Or do I just accept the house will be a shit tip? Or I don’t get any sleep?

Please don’t suggest buying in cleaner as the whole point of me working more is to bring more income in!

I'm knackered. I'm self employed and only meant to work 3 days. That never happens. I just keep on keeping on. I'm working with clients to rebalance my load at the moment but it won't happen overnight.

The same way everyone else does? I don't think I know anyone with primary age children who doesn't work FT.

Are you a single parent that the housework, dog-walking, homework all devolves to you?

You have to decide what’s really important to you and what you can let slide. For me, I’m not particularly house proud so I do the bare minimum of cleaning. I choose meals/gadgets which will minimise time cooking. Exercise doesn’t even make to the long list, let alone the short one am lazy.

We don't have a dog for a start.

DH and I share the load with housework etc. The house isn't to the standard it was when I worked part time. But it will do. DH is off one day in the week so that's when the house gets blitzed and I do a spruce on Saturdays when he's in work.

The only hobbies the kids have is one night a week. DH takes them.

I do struggle because when I was part time I did do most of it and I do struggle with letting go control of it all. But I'm getting there!!

I do it all badly and complain incessantly about being tired and never having enough time for anything.

I don't exercise (because I don't have time and am too tired) and we don't have a dog even though we'd love one for the same reasons.

I do most housework, kids homework and more adventurous cooking at the weekends. In the week it's usually just the bare essentials - quick meals, school, work, clubs, reading, washing.

I drink, down rescue remedy and have low standards.

I’m a single parent though, so you may have better coping mechanisms

Honestly? No idea. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely surviving.

Yep i drink too frankly (within normal limits obviously ) ...it helps it makes you ignore the mess in the corner that you throw a blanket over to look acceptable

Honestly it's bloody hard OP sorry not to have better advice I make it through one day at a time and ignore the passive aggressive comments form the school staff

My dog is my savour so he ain’t going anywhere!

Do have a DH but he works long hours in the week and at weekend he does his fare share but is knackered when he gets home.

So basically everyone is just cracking on.

My problem is I have loads of friends who don’t work and have perfect houses!

On a rightly less flippant note.... I have enough uniform for the week so I can prepare it on a Sunday for the week ahead. Food during the week is basic pasta - Monday is leftover Sunday lunch from day before. I try and clean little and often - bathroom when Ds is in the bath etc.

And then I drink some more

Get up early (5am) so I walk the dog and have time to sort some stuff out before everyone else is awake, I work all week with weekends off, main bulk of the cleaning is done between fri-sun and I do all ironing on a Sunday too along with changing the beds and a good deep clean upstairs.

Bathrooms and kitchen are cleaned everyday but not thoroughly just wipe over ect.

ByFriday I am exhausted and so we will usually get a takeaway, dh does help with housework but he isn't in great health and whilst he also works mon-fri there are many jobs he can't physically do because of his health condition, walking the dog hoovering or any lifting, mowing the lawn ect.

I get through it by reminding myself that it's not forever.

DH cooks every night. We have low housework standards. I don't exercise because other things always end up taking priority. We don't have a dog.

Dd2 (the one at primary) is allowed to do one club outside school because that's all I can get her to, everything else seems to be too early in the evening. She does go to a wonderful childminder every day, so she gets to just play with her friends there (all the children there are her friends, no matter if they're older/younger/same age).

So our standards are low, and we don't try to do everything, as there just isn't time to do it all well. I am just about managing to be a good parent, and an ok teacher (observations say I'm outstanding, but I know on a day to day basis I'm barely keeping afloat), but I'm a complete terrible housekeeper and I just don't care enough to change that.

If you're only working school hours you should have more time than me though, I'm working about 50-60 hours a week, although some of those hours are at home. Take the kids with you to walk the dog, exercise is good for children as well.

I don't have a dog, but we do have six cats. I work in my youngest DCs school. I'm constantly knackered, but do have low standards and a DH who pulls his weight.

I’ve been doing it for 12 years with my children (no family support). I have a Full time intense professional role. If money allows you pay for help (cleaners etc). If it doesn’t, you share absolutely EVERYTHING with partner. If no partner then you let standards slip as much as possible (in fact this has to happen anyway I think). No one gives prizes for the cleanest house or most groomed garden. This time will pass. I have 18 months of before work school runs (cue mad dashes for train and walking into meetings frazzled); and I’m counting down, whilst most of the other mums at school appear to be close to weeping at the thought of finally leaving primary school. I’ll crack open a bottle of bubbly on that last day

First of all, don't even think of comparing yourself to your SAHM mates and their perfect houses; they've got the time and you haven't. Put that from your mind.
In terms of coping, lower your standards. I tend to just prioritise essential stuff during the working week, so:
Is everyone fed? (1st priority)
Is everyone cleanish, and in cleanish clothes?
Are the bathroom and kitchen hygienic? (Not immaculate, just clean enough to cook / wash in)
Are the pets ok? (Fed, exercised etc)
And that's it! Clubs and stuff can be squeezed in, if that's what you want. I've managed to find an exercise class that starts after 8.30pm, so I go to that, but there's no way I'd be able to get to one any earlier.
More thorough housework, gardening, shopping, washing etc gets done at the weekend, (and it goes without saying that your DH needs to pull his weight here too).

Thanks for replies.

It’s helpful to be reminded that you don’t have to do it all.

I’ve got used to doing all the housework on my days off and have enjoyed a clean house and having the weekend free. But I guess that has to change.

I think I’m just in the transition stage. Soon it will be my new normal.

Oh and off course drink helps.

You do have to do less housework, and quicker meals. You also have to drop standards on activities and homework - I aim to encourage reading on their own so that I can be doing other things (mostly putting the other dc to bed).

The people that make it look most effortless are super organised - ideally both dc do their clubs at times convenient for you to focus on the other one’s homework/special projects etc.

I have a cleaner (I know you said don't suggest that, but it's the best £30 a week we spend).

Online shopping- for everything.

Routine for meals so it doesn't need thinking about. Set nights the laundry goes through.

I do Monday/ Wednesday/ Saturday clubs, DH does Friday and Sunday.

I don't exercise. I could on the nights I don't do the clubs run, and we do have a machine at home, but I can never be arsed.

See I’ve had cleaners on and off and it just doesn’t touch the sides of the mess and kid related detritus. Have messy pets too.
I’d need a housekeeper!

YY to what everyone’s saying. You have to lower your standards and adapt I think. We’re also still in a transition stage and it’s been hideous. We just seem to be flying by the seat of our pants!

I work FT, so does DH, I commute about 90 min each way.

DH does most of the school run, as he works more locally but I pitch in if he has an early meeting or something then I make the time back at work. We use breakfast and after school club so DD is there 0745- 1715 most days.

I train in the evenings (3 times a week, 7—9), plus a lunchtime session at another gym near work (most weeks anyway depending on work schedule)

DH is a season ticket holder for a football team at the other end of the country so travels a lot for that.

DD does 7 different activities, mostly at the weekend.

We make it work with a shared calendar app, and the acceptance of the fact that the house will never be 100% done. Sometimes the dusting doesn't get done, sometimes it's the ironing, etc.

I also buy as much as I can online to save time.

You just need to prioritise what is the most important for you, and accept that the rest just won't get done

I don't work everyday but work 3 days and have gone back to having a toddler so no longer get 2 school days in an empty house.. I swear by bulk cooking so I freeze any leftovers to reheat quickly on work or club days. And have crap low cleanliness standards but squeeze one quick kitchen clean, one Hoover and one superficial bathroom clean once (ish) a week. .. and do 1 wash a day to keep on top of it. I do miss my tidy house!

Oh yes, between amazon and online groceries, I rarely set foot in shops.

DH and I work 6 days a week, all my mum friends work either part time, or FT but it's still less than we are doing.

So:
No dog.
Easy dinners. Or cook first thing in the morning before school run.
Monday and Tuesday get in a 6pm. Cook, eat, bed.
Wednesday evening kids swim, and Brownies. Back by 7pm.
Thursday in at 6pm, homework night.
Friday night visit MIL in care home straight after work, get in around 8pm. Tesco delivery. Collect takeaway/ sling pizza in oven.
Saturday AM house work until I go to work. PM get washing done as soon as I get in.
DH works longer hours and some Sunday's too so I'd rather he didn't have anything extra.

Sunday, try to relax. And get the washing dry!

It sucks, and I am jealous of people who have The Time. My house is always untidy which sometimes I am resigned to, other times it drives me nuts.

I did have a 9yo say 'Wow your house is so messy. My mum likes to keeps ours really tidy.' Volunteering are we??

I'm doing my best, that's all I can do.