If you’ve got primary aged kids and work everyday how do you do it???

[OhDear2200]

I’ve just increased my work from 2 days a week to working everyday (only 2 full days rest just school hours).

I’m dying here! Housework, hobbies, homework, walking dog, attempting to keep fit.

Please give me your tips!

Will I just get used to it? Or do I just accept the house will be a shit tip? Or I don’t get any sleep?

Please don’t suggest buying in cleaner as the whole point of me working more is to bring more income in!

I’m not working atm but when I did it was ok because
We had a cleaner
Did online shopping
Had an after school nanny

Ran home from work or did the gym at lunch time

actually kondo-ing is a good idea. I have hardly any possessions now to keep tidy. My living areas are much less cluttered and it's much more pleasant to live in.

Thanks for replies. Been out with dog and done 2 hours work.

So I’m going to take from you all:

• Batch cook
• Exercise at work
• Do the maths, can we afford a cleaner?
• lower my standards and stop comparing
• get a wife as according to this thread they are very productive!

I’m doing it as a single parent to a 7 year old.

My god send is that her two adult brothers, aged 21 & 18, still live at home & will fill some of the childcare gaps for me. An hour here or there, an odd inset day etc.

Without them it would be hard. Especially as my working day is 7am to 7.30pm.

Single mother, work FT, two kids. I have:

A cleaner, gardener, ironing lady and an occasional handyman.

I have a network of other single mums and we help each other out with ad hoc child care when we need to work late.

I leave the kids (12 and 10) while I nip to the gym or park for a run. Totally necessary for my sanity.

I always cook a bit more and freeze a portion. I have emergency coins in a pot in the car for school donations etc.

School hols are planned two years ahead: I call on family to help with this.

I am really strict ahout my working hours and I'm really, really organised at work. I have lower standards at home.

I don't beat myself up about missing am evening commitment because sometimes I just want to flop on the sofa. It gets easier as they get older
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Work FT 9-5/6 with 3 DC , one primary school age.

I do school run in the morning.Dad does 2 school pick ups and pick up from afterschool 3 days a week. DC do a lot of activities, Dad takes the lead and I do what I can. No cleaner, can't afford it. Cook from scratch every night, cook ahead at weekends where possible. Laundry only ever at weekends. Foodshop at weekends.Errands at weekends. Administration at lunch time.
Lunches made while cooking. Uniform laid out at bedtime.Sat is for chores, activities etc Sun for relaxing.

DH does washing up and kitchen clean up.

No pets. Like to get out and meet friends even sometimes midweek.

Wfh one day a week and that keeps me sane!

Very used how it now and like my routine. Would love to work 4 days but wfh helps.

Bit late to the thread but yeah, house is a shit tip and I don't get enough sleep.
We'd love a dog but have put off getting one for a bit.
Tons of laundry done at weekend, bagged up for relevant day so we can grab and go.
It feels relentless.

Honestly? A nanny, a cleaner and a gardener.

I do appreciate that's not an option for everyone, but it's the only way we can make it work (and even still, it often feels like I'm trying to spin a billion plates and juggle on a unicycle all at the same time)

Multi-task.
I never cook one meal anymore, I'll batch cook a couple of things at a time or at least chop up some veg sticks a the same time to keep in the fridge.
For exercise I run in the mornings and take the dog with me.

I always have a to-do list on the go with things that pop in to my head like empty the bins or get something out of the freezer. Writing things down and crossing them off makes me feel more in control ad less overwhelmed.

Firstly, a cleaner who will also do some ironing
Secondly a husband that pulls his weight. It’s all very well to say “he works long hours”. Well he has kids and responsibilities too so perhaps needs to look at his working patterns - I have a very senior role but I leave the office at a reasonable time twice a week and then finish work off in the evening. Also some days I go in early/leave early and DH drops and I collect, and vice versa.

And then great childcare arrangements - we have after school clubs and grandparents help - some have nannies if you can afford it and can actually find a nanny that wants to do after school only (we have tried but not been able to find anyone willing to do such short hours)

Great organisation - planning ahead for school things, meal planning, rotas for who is doing drop off/pick ups etc

And lastly not having such high standards. My motto is “done is better than perfect”.

We buy in help - nanny for wrap around care, cleaner, gardener.

Our daughter eats well but we end up having cheese and biscuits or toast a couple of times in the week.

My house isn't as clean as I would like and I haven't had a good charity shop clear out in ages - lower standards.

We are knackered all the time.

I work one full day and the rest school hours. We have three dc ranging from 9–15, one with SEN. For years I muddled through still doing everything & I was tired all the time. A couple of years ago I had a pay rise and took the decision to spend it on cleaners. I know you said, don’t suggest this, but I. E I’d done it, it gave me the time & headspace to do a better job on other things. Never looked back. I do the grocery shop on line & I meal plan. Make packed lunches before bed. We now spend less on groceries because I’m more organised. I’ve come to look on a cleaner as a cost of working.

I work everyday but one is from home so I can put laundry on at the same time. I do all pick ups as my husband is simply not around every evening until 8 earliest, last night it was 11.30 or work is away so it's an overnight stay. I am a night owl so am often cleaning up/laundry late at night. A pp said they don't know anyone who doesn't work full time, well I feel it's the opposite at my dcs school and my youngest is 7. The house is semi mess sometimes very clean if we have visitors but it's more the feeling of missing out on doing stuff with my DC in the evenings as I'm always doing housework or cooking or working on the sly. Like I used to have much more fun with them when I was SAHP. So sorry, no tips.

Prioritise. What is most important - walk/run with the dog. Do the housework quickly for another work out. Dh needs to be on board doing at least half as well. Train your kids to help. Mine do dishwasher, pets and beds.
An agreed timetable so most things get done. Accept that every now and then it will go pear shaped like it does for everyone.

Book some time off occasionally so you can evaluate calmly whats working, what isn't and then you and dh can find solutions.

I agree Goldenbear, I work full time and don't know any one else that does. Most of my friends work three days a week at the most.

I have a 90 minute commute each way by car and am out of the house 7 - 8 at least three days a week. The other one or two days I work from home if I can. I don't always cope well as work can be very stressful but I too have a cleaner and have just increased her hours as I was really struggling to do the parts of the house that she wasn't getting to. I have no hobbies at all which I really need to rectify somehow, it is just very difficult as my husband tends to work opposite me, so will sometimes have to go back to work in the evenings after I have got home. We don't have a good work life balance at all.

But, yes to batch cooking and to trying to do a load of laundry every day so that is isn't such a mammoth task on the weekend. Lots of uniform here and if something gets ripped I tend to replace rather than repair it, which I would never have done before. The children don't have many activities and I do one or two very easy meals each week (bagels, beans on toast etc...) We survive but I am certainly not thriving and nor is my marriage at this point.

My top tips are:
Have all uniform ready on a Sunday, and sandwiches for my packed lunch ready and frozen.
Have easy dinners or pre-prep food in batches.
Clean the bathroom while the kids are in the bath.
Have a roomba - the floor gets cleared before bedtime and I set the roomba off to do the floors downstairs as I take the dc up.
Get the dc to help with jobs.
Have a partner that does half - in my previous role I worked 13 hour shifts with an hour's commute each way. I still managed to do some housework. I bet your dh could too.
I find it helpful to have a routine - I like the Organised Mum Method.

I drink to relax and I am tired all the time

oh, and I am very very organised (lunch/uniforms night before/laundry every day etc)

Does anyone else thinks this all makes for very depressing reading?! So many people constantly stressed trying to keep on top of it all, as a society we've definitely got something wrong along the way if this is how the majority have to spend their one and only life!
Completely OT sorry OP, but just what struck me RTTT.

You’d be hard pushed to find the mums working ft like me because they’re usually at clubs side of the day so the parents with more flexible schedules are more visible and can give you a skewed perspective.

I’m on the pta and I think we don’t engage close to half the parents - probably the half that aren’t around at the drop and pick times because they’re hard to fit around a normal or long working day.

I’d say try and watch your health - mine slid and slid over the years, taking care of that and getting things checked as needed needs priority too, as does exercise.

I think more women working is better though and progress, even if it is a struggle because so many relationships break down, and even if you are married, the person who has lost earning power is still going to bear more financial consequences from a split.

I do think staying at home with the under 5s should be more respected, and flexibility is always worth fighting for but things are better than the days of getting married and resigning.

Was f/t teacher with children, now long retired.one of my few regrets is that I wouldn’t get a cleaner but frankly was a bit of a martyr thinking I could do it all and that ‘ordinary’ people didn’t have them. It was the only thing my extremely domestic help averse DP and I have ever really argued over ...get paid help!

Don’t worry about the housework. So long as your not living in a tip then I doubt anyone will notice. I’m a sahm at the moment and my house is still always messy. I go through bursts of trying to have a perfect house before deciding it’s not worth the effort. If I’m honest, I’m always relieved when I visit a house that’s messy/ messier than mine! I would never judge because life is too short to be cleaning all the time.

No help from me. I've recently decided to stop working for a while. It's just too hard to do everything and everyone's quality of life is affected. I have young dc and work reduced hours. IME, for mothers of young children, reduced hours and PT is mostly a massive con, see also remote working. It means cramming everything into a shorter timeslot while also doing all the domestic heavy lifting.

It bothers me on many fronts that it's come to this but I honestly think that life will get at least 40% easier when I'm free of work stress and constant deadlines. Then it will be just 'normal' madness and messy house instead of everything feeling like it's about to unravel.