Does anyone have a spare £1.25m they don't really need any more

[StealthPolarBear]

I can make good use of it

@justforthisnow I like the cut of your jib! From one outspoken northerner, I cordially invite you to come live in my French château!

• I take umbrage at rude bird description! Honest and forthright, me. I'll also take a bedroom in whichever palace is eventually bought.*

Why does it have a beard?

I would insist on a roof survey, first, mind, cherry because that one is marginally more complicated than a 1930s semi detached chalet bungalow and they are quite expensive enough to fix when they leak like a sieve.

Defo, @PickAChew. Mates’ rates, DH’s friend is a roofer.

If we're gonna have to share - I would point to this one. It has 4 self contained properties (and looks a little like a poor mans Downton Abbey)

search.savills.com/property-detail/gbglrsgls140163

PoshJock thought to date from 1908, practically modern... how do they not know???

reachtheprezels god the gardens are stunning

I have a mental list of several houses I want, mostly in London, 2 are within spitting distance or the flat we are renting in a mahoosive victorian mansion (would kill to see what it was like before it was split). One of the houses is being converted in front of my very eyes, I curse the bastards ruining my future home daily.

Iv been in that house Stealth, and its lovely, live about 2 mins from it. Did you stop off for a suggits ice cream?

I can give all of you the millions you need for your houses.
I just require a single, one off, fully refundable payment of £1500 from each of you to enable me to transfer the funds directly to you from my offshore account......
Just drop me an email me at [email protected]

I'll throw in a fifty grand on the understanding that at least 10% goes on sorting out the horrible bathroom.

In return I'd need to come stay with DH and DS for one weekend every two months. It's quite near DM.

I've just counted up DS' Christmas money that he's saved, and along with money he's pilfered from DH and I his pocket money there's about £58. Can I buy in?

It’s a beautiful house in a gorgeous location. Many years ago as a hard up student I delivered a yellow pages to it 🤣 (along with bloody thousands more to the surrounding area!)

Fuck that shit.
A semi with shared garden?
Maybe I’ll chip in for time share week. I want Christmas week though, will be like Christmas in the movies.
But @BigStripeyBastard has the right idea. For £50 I will also help you compete the paperwork for Bigstripey

I think the agent has made a mistake when they added that listing. There's nothing in the blurb to suggest it's a semi or that the gardens are shared. I used to work for an EA and when you upload a property there are various drop-downs - I think they clicked on semi-detached rather than detached.

I reckon it is a semi - the ivy covered half.
If you look at the floor plan, there are 3 bays. The full house has more than that, but the ivy covered half has just 3.

Stealth I've got the full amount in cash sitting in my handbag. Can you just transfer £376,875.23 to my account so I can get all the money to you. Cheers!

Ah, I didn't look at the floorplans. In that case, they've been quite sneaky about not mentioning shared driveway, gardens etc in the blurb!

It is a gorgeous house - I love the library, especially the bookshelves with the built in desk.

Sorry, Stealth, I can only manage £5 at the mo!

In true Escape To The Country style

"the kitchen is smaller than we wanted/currently have. We entertain a lot and i like to have people sit in the kitchen with me and chat whilst I cook"

Great gardens tho. My guinea pigs would love the grass.

@Heaviestdirtyestsoul no sadly not, I was just driving from a to b and great ayton was the shortest route. I've clearly never been through it before.
I've lost count of the money offered however have transferred money to all of you who can now release the big funds. I'll have the house in great ayton and the Loch lomond Castle now. Thanks muchly.

Ask a Premier League footballer.