Fucking bollocking coughing and the resultant aftermath

[BlackAndTanDog]

Am feeling very sorry for myself currently, not helped by this fucking chesty cough of doom and death that has been with me for the past two weeks.

My joy is also unconfined as each time I have a coughing fit - I wet myself slightly. Joy, joy, blissful, overwhelming joy!! (And this is despite doing all the fucking exercises before and after birth!!)

I adore being at work and having to change sanpro to prevent being known as the pissy lady!!

Fucking, fucking, fucking shitty, pissy, shitty shite.

Thank you for the rant - one more day of work than I can grovel around my hovel and hack in pyjamas, at least.

I too have this hideous cough.
I have coughed up things that would be more at home on an episode of star trek than my lungs. I'd cope better if it wasn't for my ruined pelvic floor.
Thanks kids. They also gave me this cold, and the two rounds of flu I had in January.
Gits. I love them but they're gits.

Isn’t it utterly shit, cigarsofthepharoahs?

I’ve just returned home from a stupidly long day and am bored of the hacking, the trickle pissing and the delight of everything tasting slightly bloody due to this shitty cold of death.
Harrumph.

I feel you pain OP. I had the most horrendous cough last Christmas. Not only were my ribs sore from all the coughing, I had some coughing fits that were so violent I ended up with piles!

Your post has taken me to the first 2 weeks after i gave birth. Had to seriously cross my legs whilst coughing in a supermarket. Only saving grace was double padding!! Had no time to be mortified as I needed to go buy extra pads 😂😂😂 nearly a clean up on aisle 4 situation! If you're at home OP, then let it all go 😂 it's a bloody nuisance alright.

I hear you, feel you and high five you in solidarity OP.
I’ve had bronchitis all week and have been full on pissing my trousers when a coughing fit comes on! I literally have to RUN like the clappers to get to the loo just so I can have a fucking cough!!!
I am fucking done with this shit!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OFF BASTARD WANKER TWATFACE COUGH!!

Ah. My people!
I pissed the bed yesterday.
Yep.
Coughing fit and - what I thought was a - slight trickle escaped. Except it didnt stop.
Had to strip the bed, change my pjs....ugh.
I've been in bed all week after 2 weeks of nursing ill children with the same thing.
I'm very literally pissed off.

Slightly pissy solidarity to you all - I’d pour you all drinks - but I don’t think our bladders can take it.

But thank fuck I haven’t had the piles yet userplusnumbers - because that would take the absolutely cunting biscuit!

Don’t want to put a downer on the situation but if it’s the same bastarding cough that we have, we are at 6 weeks so far. DD started coughing end of Jan. DH, DS and I started coughing a week or so later. If I never hear another person cough it will be too soon.

Yes. I had this about 4 weeks ago. A fucking hacking cough/throat clearing bastard of a thing that lasted 3 weeks.

I am peri menopausal and not likely to win any trampolining competitions these days but I don't piss my keks. Except for those 3 weeks

I find this happens once I've had a cough for a few days. Like my pelvic floor can handle the occasional coughing fit but doesn't have much stamina!

Fuck’s sake threeleggedcat - SIX WEEKS?!?!?! no chance - it’s fucking off before that. No discussion!

Yep - me too anyfucker but like you, this cough has made a mockery of my continence, apparently. Fucking shit.

Still - at least today I get to piss myself slightly in my own house - hurrah!

I've had the cough for 3 weeks now. Every time I think it is on its way out, I feel rough again.

Have even vomited a couple of times when in the middle of a coughing fit. Nice to have it at both ends!

I'm only 1 week into the cough of doom. My pelvic floor is just about holding up, but a word of warning... don't have a massive coughing fit while squashed into the back of a mini with shopping piled around you. You WILL crack a rib, and that is not fun. Now every time I cough (which is all the fucking time) I have to hold a pillow to my side to prevent agonising pain.

Codeine is good though, really good

6 weeks in here too, I have to keep using my inhaler as I get to the point of not being able to get a breath in at all. Every time it looks to be clearing up, it staged a resurgence

Haven't wet myself yet but since DS has brought home and shared a vomting big, I am now travelling round the house with a washing up bowl at all times.

Five weeks in to the cough of death - and associated fucking awful snot...
Pelvic floor dead.
Sanpro losing the battle.
Lungs collapsing.
Tissue count - extreme.

Cough of doom here too. Gets so bad I go dizzy not getting enough air in. Sore throat from coughing, needing an inhaler daily, sore nose, sore eyes, tissues everywhere... Only two days in.

I feel your pain blackeyedgruesome - and although I don’t want to make you feel worse, feel I should warn you of the lingering effects of the cough. I’m 5 weeks in and counting... woken up again with a swollen throat, as coughing like a maniac. Never mind the awful stuff coming from my sinuses!

Take codiene or pholcodiene if it’s not a productive cough.

And... well into week 6. And to add insult to injury, just had a bout of diarrhoea - what joy this is!
Trying to get into the doctor is an absolute joke. Can only phone on the day and by the time you get through, all appointments gone!

Signing in with the cough of doom- currently on week 3.5. it's a bastardy shitter pisser of a bug!

I had this a few weeks ago, it's like a shitty visitor who never leaves! I had to leave a training session as I started having a coughing fit so had to dash to the loo and spend 5 minutes coughing with tears running from my eyes before having to try and discretely try and rejoin the session.

It’s so frustrating. Just fed up, now (well - was fed up approximately 5 1/2 weeks ago!), but really, really had enough.