Anyone lost an item and been able to move on?

[runwithme]

Just in case any tabloids deem this to be newsworthy- FUCK OFF DAILY MAIL, THE SUN, THE STAR, THE MIRROR. FUCK THE FUCK OFF.

I've lost three rings! Engagement, wedding and one that DH gave to me on our 10th anniversary. I feel absolutely sick.
I last had them just over two weeks ago- came back from a night out, not drunk but had been drinking, and put them somewhere. And I don't know where! I've looked everywhere. Pretty sure it was downstairs. Looked in bags, shoes, toy boxes, between, under and behind the sofa....everywhere.
I've come to the conclusion that I dropped them in my work bag and either they fell out as they were in open side pockets or I threw them away by accident when throwing some paperwork away.

They've gone. I need to accept that because I'm having problems sleeping. Life is very stressful at the moment (I could write a whole series of threads...) with job issues, a health scare and school problems and this would be a huge source of comfort if I could just let it go. But how? How do I stop thinking "oh, they could be in the suitcase with my summer clothes" or "maybe I accidentally put them in the freezer" and then look there and of course, they aren't there but the disappointment kicks again.

Has anyone lost anything, forever, and stopped looking for it? I know these are just objects and I've lost people so I know it's not the same but I just need to move on from this.

You poor thing, I hate that feeling. I've never lost my rings but I'll suddenly remember a pair of sunglasses (for example) I bought years ago and want to try them on (even though it's dark). Then it's a massive hunt through everything to find them and I can't rest til I do. It plagues my every thought til they turn up.

Can you buy a cheap ring to kid your brain you've given up looking and replaced your rings? Would that help?

The best way to find stuff is to stop looking, I find. Buy some cheapies from Diamonique or something, practice being a bit more Zen about them (deep breaths, keep busy) and I bet they'll turn up.

Thank you. I was planning on buying some replacements but DH is going to be so upset.
Just need to stop. I'll drive myself crazy!
Thanks for the recommendations too!

If I'd written that, there would be a very good chance that they'd still turn up - I am notorious for putting jewellery in "safe" places when I go on holiday and then losing track of it until I clear out a cupboard or drawer!
That said, if the naked finger is bothering you and you can afford it, go and buy yourself another ring to replace those three (or get DP to do so if he's sympathetic) as I think that will help you move on. A new symbol of ongoing commitment "in sickness, health and drunken stupidity" perhaps?! Remember it's the relationship that is important and not the rings.

When your anger has dissipated, find a quiet moment to sit down and relax and ask Saint Anthony for help.

In my experience he doesn't help when you are feeling angered and annoyed at your loss.

www.google.com/amp/s/aleteia.org/2018/06/13/prayer-to-st-anthony-to-find-an-item-that-was-lost/amp/

I lost my late mom's eternity ring about fifteen years ago. It was my most treasured possession. It absolutely floored me. I was utterly distraught for weeks. I put adverts in the local papers and contact ed psychics (completely out of character).
My husband found it ten years later. He was laying new floor tiles in the bathroom. It had fallen down a tiny crack in the grout and was between floor boards. It was one of the best days of my life. Don't give up hope. And I hope you have a happy ending too. Xx

I lost the claddaigh ring my grandad had given me in the sea after he died.

I was totally inconsolable.

15 years later, my dp saw an exact copy of the ring (or perhaps even the same ring?) in the window of a pawn shop and bought it for me as a surprise.

I don't wear it (in case I lose it) but it's nice to feel like I have it back.

Oh OP I can totally relate. It’s the most sickening feeling. A colleague of mine went on playground duty wearing her wedding ring and came back without it. We never found it despite lots of searching.

A few months ago I lost DD’s converses. They are not worth masses but we wouldn’t have been able to afford to replace them. It took over my mind for a bit and all I could think about is where they could be? All through the night and at work. It was so frustrating as like I said they weren’t even that valuable!

I got a pandora necklace from dh for Valentines, so took off my solitaire diamond necklace I've had for 15 years, and the only piece of expensive jewelry I own, I put it in the pandora box and bag and put it up in my closet. I've just had surgery and my dd decided to have a little clear out of my closet as a surprise, and threw out, what she thought was empty Pandora packaging. The bags went off in recycling last week and I'm absolutely devastated, to put it mildly. Such a coincidence this thread op I really hope your rings turn up.

Do I understand that you haven't told your DH yet? If not, I think you need to as that isn't helping you to move on.

It was an accident, you didn't mean to lose them, you need to forgive yourself and as you say yourself, they are objects, the people they mean the most to are still here.

Tell yourself what you would say to your DH if the shoe was on the other foot.

It is sad, and they might turn up when you least expect, but be kind to yourself.

Thanks for sharing all your stories, good and bad. It's really helped. I can't spend every day worrying about it. I've said two prayers to St Antony but maybe I need to be in a better headspace.
As I mentioned before, I have so much that I'm dealing with at the moment so some closure is much needed. Definitely going to buy some cheapies in the hope that that will help.
Thanks for all your replies x

I thought I'd lost a very special necklace my DH bought me. I looked everywhere 3 times over, had the bins out and everything.
My DH bought me new necklace but it wasn't the same, I pined for my old one.

It eventually turned up 2 years and 2 housemoves later. It was tangled up in some old cheap costume jewellery, I'd looked there several times before. God knows how I missed it before but it doesn't matter!

These things generally turn up eventually, when you least expect it. Fingers crossed for you. That feeling is horrible.

If you buy some cheapy replacements that will help you to find them! That happens every time I cancel a 'lost' bankcard, or buy a replacement birth certificate! ( I own five birth certificates). I really do think that you will stumble upon them at some point.

Once an aunt bought me some hand painted earrings from a posh market stall. Oval ceramic with a little cat and flower on. I loved them! While cleaning the kitchen I knocked one off the bench and it landed in the rubbish bag - after I had emptied the cat litter tray. Gutted.
Few weeks later they were both in my jewellery box.....
Woo or what?
When I lose things I walk about the house really thinking about the item. I feel drawn to a place - where I usually find it.
Put the clothes on you were wearing that night,leave the house, come in and really think about your rings.
Good luck op.

I've lost a few things over the years. I like to imagine that someone who really really needed them found them.

Hope you feel better soon OP, are you getting hell and support for everything else that's going on?

Billy, I love your story.

Wax
That's a really nice and comforting way of looking at it.
And thanks for asking. My DH has a lot going on so we are leaning on each other which is weary. I've got appointments to look into a health issue (which may be nothing). DS is having problems at school but it's our w hands at the moment. Work is incredibly stressful for both of us, I'm in over my head and he has an extremely demanding job. Need a break but no money (can't even sell my jewellery to raise a bit of cash ). It will pass, but how we come out of it at the other end- who knows?

Things turn up in the most random places. I lost my engagement ring a few years ago, it turned up inside a shoe that was in the wardrobe, I'd knocked it into the shoe off my bedside table. I know what you mean though, I would've been stressing about it for weeks and I don't know the answer unfortunately.

It always feels more manageable to me when I list things and have a plan that I can tick items off on. Sounds like you have a lot going on and it's overwhelming. I hope things get easier for you soon. It's never weakness to admit that you are struggling and to ask for help.

Have you felt round the lining of your bag? I have one bag that loses things and they are always in the lining.

DH lost his wedding ring and we were both really gutted. Ads of FB and everything. He’d even bought a new one when suddenly I found it in a bucket next to the sink where he must have knocked it when he was washing his hands. He was chuffed to bits.

I lost some precious pearl and diamond earrings, I looked everywhere, got a plumber in to look down the u bends and everything. Found them in the pocket of a bag ( clearly put away for safety) three years later. Try all side pockets, then try again! I thought I'd checked the bag thoroughly.

Many years ago when my granny died she left me a beautiful aquamarine ring. It was too big for me, but I put it on anyway and went out for a walk with my boyfriend in the countryside. Of course I came back without it, and wouldn’t have had a clue where to start searching.
When I pass that area now I imagine it is still there, buried deep in the soil.
I still wish I had it.

I lost my wedding ring at a festival the day after we got back from honeymoon. It was a local daytime music festival and I had far too much to drink so didn’t notice it wasn’t on my finger until the next morning. We had a thorough search of the flat but didn’t find it, and tbh it’s more likely that it slipped off my finger somewhere at the festival or on the mile-long walk home.
I was really upset about losing it but replaced it within a few days and now rarely even remember that the ring I wear now isn’t my original one. We haven’t moved house since I lost it so I haven’t given up hope that it may still turn up in the move!

So weird, this happened to me. Lost engagement ring, wedding ring and one that was my late aunt’s (heirloom type thing). Didn’t tell anyone (just stopped wearing them and no one commented/noticed, but I had started temp work as a cleaner and maybe everyone assumed I’d put them away for safety).

I was consumed by it. So self conscious of my hands, any time rings or engagement were mentioned I panicked and tried to change the subject.

I couldn’t accept to myself they were gone. I couldn’t remember what had happened at all and couldn’t explain where they’d gone. Even tried to buy replacements but they looked shit.

THEN about four months later, I was looking through a secondary wash bag and there was an empty perfume box in it. I opened the box and the rings fell out

I’d put them there for safe keeping

It was like the biggest weight off my shoulders. I’m sooooooo careful about them now.

I hope yours turn up. It’s so stressful