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Original poster

Dd 11 being mean to ds age 5, caught on camera

78 replies

Lardlizard · 10/03/2019 21:09

So me and dh were doing some work in the garden only for 30 mins

We let the dc play on a games console
So they would keepnout of any trouble

Anyway we set up the iPad to record, the dog as we wanted to see what the dog was upto and if it followed the rules when we were outside

Anyway we realised when we scanned through it at one point dd started to have a go at him
Saying how she hates it when he tries to get her into trouble and she went on a rant at him and shouted sssssshhh

Then few mins later while playing minecraft

Calling him names, Keeno try hard
Sweat bag and something else
About eight times

What would you make of this ?

OP posts:

LovingLola · 11/03/2019 08:38

Why were you leaving your dog unattended with children anyway?

I would hazard a guess that many many thousands of family dogs are left ‘unattended’ with children every day. Ours were.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 11/03/2019 09:54

My siblings said a lot worse to me growing up.

doodleygirl · 11/03/2019 09:59

Am I the only one who thinks its absolutely disgusting to be recording your own DC. Imagine how your DD will feel when she realises you are recording her.

Stop it and let them sort out their own bickers.

chocolatebuttonsandcheese · 11/03/2019 10:05

Find it weird you recorded your children. She won't forgive you for that

Seeline · 11/03/2019 10:20

You should not be recording your children without their knowledge.

The behaviour sounds fairly normal sibling behaviour. A child 6 years younger is going to be incredibly annoying at times. And I suspect, judging from your posts, that the 11yo gets the blame for everything.

I think a 6 year gap between the siblings is too great to expect them to play together for any period of time. There is such a huge difference in ability, experience, wants and needs. My 2 weren't even 3 years apart, and sometimes hte gulf between them was huge.

If you want the 11yo to babysit, then it should be described as such. However, I think it is unfair to put that much responsibility on an 11yo.

LovingLola · 11/03/2019 10:22

Am I the only one who thinks its absolutely disgusting to be recording your own DC.

No. I think it’s wrong too.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 11/03/2019 10:24

I feel like the Op protects the son more than the Daughter.
She is angst at the things the DD said. But they were nothing. Yet doesn't seem to acknowledge the affect that him trying to get her into trouble would have on her. Or how she would feel having to watch her brother.

SnuggyBuggy · 11/03/2019 10:27

I'm wondering if filming the dog was just an excuse

Knickersononeshead · 11/03/2019 10:34

My 5 and 11 year old agrue like mad all the time. It's pretty standard with that sort of age gap.... In fact dd5 came hurtling downstairs at the weekend shouting that DD11 had called her a bitch 😳 they both got a bollocking for winding each other up.

I wouldn't dream of videoing them without their knowledge 🙄

YogaWannabe · 11/03/2019 10:38

Am I the only one who thinks its absolutely disgusting to be recording your own DC.

No I think so too, I just wondered what the OPs reasoning was behind it.
I love hearing my DD pottering and playing/singing her little games in her bedroom next door to mine but she changes them when I poke my head around or come in to play/drop in washing etc.

They need their own privacy, I’m getting a bit of a PFB vibe here. It sounds more like a DSD situation tbh.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/03/2019 10:42

So he tried to get her in trouble.
She told him she dislikes this.
He laughed.
They continued to play.
She called him a keeno and a swear bag.
Both kids were fine and happy when you came in.

OK.

WhenTheDragonsCame · 11/03/2019 11:09

If my DD3 tried to get DD2 into trouble she would do a lot worse in front of me, I dread to think what she would do if I then left them alone for 30 minutes!

There is 2 years between them and they can go from being best friends to hating each other and back again in the blink of the eye!

5amisnotdaytime · 11/03/2019 12:56

Actually I don't see anything wrong with recording the Dc if they're not used to being left unsupervised. I did the first few times they were left (5&7) alone for 30 minutes or so whilst we did work outside that wasn't really safe for them to be around. There were no issues so we knew we could trust them after that.

I'm not sure I would discuss it with her, or show her the film. It doesn't sound like anything major and she is entitled to be upset that he was trying to get her into trouble. She is a fair bit older though, at 11, so whilst my Dc were absolutely not bothered about being filmed, I'm not so sure about someone her age.

Didiusfalco · 11/03/2019 13:01

I’m more shocked that your 11 yo hasn’t said things like this within earshot before. Aside from that it all sounds like business as usual for siblings.

EnidButton · 11/03/2019 13:10

You're leaving the 11 year old to supervise the 5 year old and I bet you did it regularly. Maybe you don't realise that's what you're doing but because of the age gap that's what it is. They're too far apart to play together properly so the older one will end up feeling like she's responsible for their safety and behaviour.

I'm not surprised she's feeling resentful and pissed off. She might feel like you're using her and then telling her off for being a kid and not acting how an adult would around a 5 year old. Because bickering and name calling is normal between siblings.

Assumptions and maybe I'm way off but that's the impression I get.

slappinthebass · 11/03/2019 13:15

I'd play it to her but leave it at that. Sounds like if she only does it behind your back then she'd be suitably embarrassed and problem solved. I have an 11 year old and a 5 year old and 11 year old is vile to younger sibling in front of us, every day, including swearing at her, hitting her, etc etc. So this does sound pretty tame to me.

10IAR · 11/03/2019 13:18

My wee brother spent his entire childhood trying to stitch me up, most of the time it worked.

We don't speak now. It sounds like your DD was rightly pissed off with your DS and said so.

Weird to record them and really stupid to leave a dog with kids unattended.

Original poster

Lardlizard · 11/03/2019 13:18

we were hardly down the pub, getting pissed and as I’ve already said it was a typical busy day so not stuck inside allday playing console,they actually do get on very well and there lots of things they enjoy together like park garden Lego arts n crafts and that actually what they were doing when we were outside in the garden playing together in the console
So they actually have a lot more in common than some of you realise

In fact perhaps the poster that said I’m surprised that’s the first time you’ve heard her talk to him like that is actually the most spot on
I’ve never heard her call him names ever
And yes they are fairly tame names
And we she asked them if they were ok and if they’d been ok
Both said yes and both seemed fine
Da was clearly not bothered by what had been said
So other than the suprise of hearing her to talk him differently they seem ok really
And let’s eat a grip here guys we were at home in the garden doing a job for half an hour

OP posts:

10IAR · 11/03/2019 13:28

You're very concerned with how your DS felt about her calling him names.

Shame your concern wasn't for your DD when her brother was winding her up. Because you haven't mentioned her feelings once, yet you've mentioned his numerous times.

As for get a grip, you left them on their own for 30 minutes, with a dog. It is not us who needs to get a grip.

Original poster

Lardlizard · 11/03/2019 13:33

I’ve already said that ds got told in no uncertain terms not to try n get her in trouble
Already said that

OP posts:

10IAR · 11/03/2019 13:34

You didn't show any concern for her feelings, but have repeatedly shown concern for his when she called him names.

That's what I said, nothing about him not being told off.

Original poster

Lardlizard · 11/03/2019 13:37

Of course I showed concern for her feeling when we told him not to try n get her into trouble

And she was the one calling him names and giving him a telling off

OP posts:

10IAR · 11/03/2019 13:40

You say of course, but none of it came across in any of your posts.

In fact your posts read as though your DS is the favourite. If one of mine tried to stitch up their siblings they wouldn't have been on the console.

She told him off because he was unfair to her. I genuinely cannot understand why you're so pissed off. Unless you want her never to be able to express anger or irritation.

Original poster

Lardlizard · 11/03/2019 13:44

Cant be arsed to waste my time

OP posts:

10IAR · 11/03/2019 13:44

I know, and it shows. Hopefully not to your DD.

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