Father in law humiliates me as a joke

[RoseWrites]

My father is known for his sense of humour which involves saying stupid things. I normally ignore it or laugh it off but I'm now struggling to retain any vague sense of humour.

I'm 7 months post partum and he just told me that I'm finally losing the baby weight (I weigh less than I did pre pregnancy).

On Christmas day he spoke at length about how my (long, complicated and stressful) labour was the "most embarrassing moment of my year".

My step son is starting to notice and apologised on his grandfather's behalf for him not "being kind".

I don't want to be a door mat and set a bad example to the children. But nor do I want to start WWIII and make a big scene.

Should I just let it go?

that should say
"It was nice to say she was getting thin"

Your in laws are bellends. Glad to hear you got an apology though 👍

She is cutting off her nose then isn't she?

Sort alternative childcare. You can't trust them, either to be there when they should be for you and your child, nor to be appropriate grandparents around your DC.

Sorry "if" he upset you . Classic non-apology. He did upset you and has been told he did. There's no "if" about it.

Also classic response of a bully - "it was only a joke"

She is using the child minding threat in the hope that you will back down so please don't OP. Hold your ground. It is not in their interest to hold this over you but it is all they have on you right now and think that you are dependent on them for childcare. Once they realise that you are serious about this they will come around to your way of thinking.

Excellent - problem solved re them looking after the baby

Withdrawing childcare is a definife sign they can't be relied on. Time to fine a nursery or childminder OP. What a shame.

Yep, they'd be holding that over you for ever and ever OP. Any nasty comment you respond to you'd get "Oh well, if that's how you feel, we won't be having DC next week". Bugger that.

YOU go totally NC. When they say, why isn't Rose talking to us? You can say, "When YOU make a PROPER apology and understand it was bullying, not 'a joke'. And if there is ANY further comment of this type going forward, I will go completely NC with you and I will NOT allow you access to my children". He needs calling out on his non-apology - twat of a man with an enabling missus - ghastly pair of bullies.

Agree that they're using childcare as a threat. When you're back at work you need reliable childcare, not to be worried about raising awful comments from your FIL and then having to find emergency childcare.

Sort a nursery place ASAP, if things improve then great, you can reconsider your options. But go back to work with as stress free childcare as you can.

Why /how could you trust them with your dc anyway?

Not good enough! If your MIL is being a bitch and with-holding babysitting for a few weeks, make sure they know it is because MIL is unreliable that you chose to go with other childcare as MIL is not reliable and you need steady childcare you can count on. Not someone who will be spiteful and muck you around.

I'm hoping they are genuinely not available rather than because of the apology. But it does all seem a bit coincidental... sigh.
I have a nursery sorted for when I go back to work. The in laws were just having DD for a day or 2. I sense that I may need to up the number of days she is in nursery to replace their childcare cover...
I just wish my family won't hundreds of miles away. They are much more straight forward! :)