What is the worst thing your pet has done?

[Elnudzio]

I would say either ripping up the book I borrowed from the school library or peeing on my brother's bed during heavy rain.

this dickhead cat the other day stuffled hid breakfast straight down in the kitchen the other day promptly went in the front room and threw the whole lot back up all over my glass coffee table and the telly remotes

One of our cats did a massive liquid poo RIGHT behind the front door so as I got home and opened it there was literally no way to avoid spreading shit across the floor

DDog has killed a duck in DMs garden. That went down quite badly. Worse than when she did a wee on my bed

Peed on a child in a pushchair.

Stole a steak from a chopping board where it was sitting seconds away from going into the pan. Dragged it around the kitchen floor until it was nice and dirty. Did not even have the manners to fucking eat it, once he’d ruined it for me.

I'd have given that a good wash and cooked it....!

My cat has done nothing bad ever. Oh, actually once he was sick on the sofa but he wasn't very well so he didn't do it on purpose.

My boxer as a puppy jumped up and nabbed a whole 12 inch Christmas cake off the bench and ate it , she had to have her stomach pumped. I had no idea she'd be able to get that high up when she was so young but we're very thankful to still have her with us as the vet wasn't sure she'd survive.
Same puppy also ate a lamp (glass , wires , lampshade the lot!) , found a dirty nappy in the bin and chewed it up and dragged poo all over the fabric sofa , chewed her way through a wooden chest of drawers to get to the reeces peanut butter sweets inside, destroyed countless dog beds .... she's almost 6 and an absolute angel now.

Digs big fuck off holes in the lawn

DH reckons we could reenact WW1 with the size of them.

Peed on my pillow
Chewed countless shoes, books and belts
Bites people

Jumped out of the bedroom window and got stuck on the conservatory roof, ate through the front door and chewed lots of plaster off lots of wall when he was a pup, done a wee on my dog hating neighbours crocs-while she was wearing them, humped and ejaculated on a resident in a care home we were visiting, sicked up a whole mouse in front of almost the whole school when collecting my daughter - then ate it again. I could go on and on and on...

DD’s cat learned to open the fridge and steal chicken breasts. She had to fit a childproof lock. Cat understands what the lock is for and tries to stop her fastening it!
I’ve had various cats over the years. They’ve all had their moments.
One murdered the neighbour’s rabbit, butchered it into neat portions and laid it out on our front lawn.
Another brought in a large live rat and released it in my kitchen. The rat leaped at my throat when I tried to chase it out the door with a broom.
I had two kittens who dragged a whole roast chicken onto the floor and hid it behind the cooker, covered in fluff.
All of them have been spectacularly sick on my carpets - usually while rotating in a circle to ensure maximum coverage.
One poor old Tom hated his cat carrier. I took him to the vet for his annual check. When we arrived, he had peed himself copiously onto the lining newspaper, then tipped the whole carrier upside down, so the soaking newspaper was now on top of him. I unloaded a stinking,soaking bedraggled cat onto the vet’s examination table in utter mortification.
One evil female stray cat used to bring live frogs indoors, and bite one leg to cripple them before playing with them. I used to despatch them with a hammer to the head to put them out of their misery. On one revolting occasion, the frog’s eye flew out and stuck on the wall, gazing at me reproachfully.
I sometimes wonder why I love my cats so much...

Picked up half a dead pigeon that was crawling with maggots and wouldn't drop it. I actually cried because I couldn't bring myself to take it off him and we ended up walking all the way home with him carrying it so that dh could get it off him.

My cat left a dead mouse on my Persian rug. She also stole a fuzzy robin bauble off the Christmas tree, tore off a wing which she left on the stairs and hid the body under the sofa

The cat bought a live snake into the house one summer and dropped on the lounge floor for me, snakes are about the only thing I am terrified of. The rabbit she decapitated on the front door step for all to see including the delivery man, postman, neighbors was grim. Blood everywhere, came home to puddle of dried blood, and rabbit corpse with head next to it, pleased as punch with herself.

The dogs ate the home telephone when they were puppies, dug up the garden, duvets, ate decomposing seal, too many to list 😂

The worst thing our chocolate lab has done is to get into the cupboard where her dried food was stored and eat 4.5kg of food! She looked like a brown barrel on legs, and didn’t need feeding for at least three days!

No2 dog once got up on the bed next to me, snuggled in lovingly, and then threw up copiously on my shoulder, just missing my ear. Or maybe the time I left two big batches of biscuits cooling in the kitchen, with the doors firmly shut, whilst I nipped to the co-op for icing sugar, and came back to find that No2 dog had broken into the kitchen, and between the two of them, there were only 5 biscuits left.

CatBastard’s evil deeds are too many to list here - he has really earned his nickname, over the years - but the dogs’ nomination is the time they found him standing in their food, eating it! We used to keep their food in an open cake box, on top of the microwave, so it was out of their reach. I found them looking on in horror as he stood there, knee deep, munching happily!

I don't think I will ever have a pet now.

Ddog was a cunt as a pup.

Did all the usual chewing of phones, wires, shoes, a wallet with £300 in it including shredding £140 worth of the notes, pissed on my bed, pissed in the living room, robbed food blah blah blah.

But the worst thing ever, and I have told this before was StomaGate.

Dh had a stoma for a few years. Had a bin in the bathroom, bags wrapped in the special bag, dropped in the bin, bin emptied once a day.

Doing the cleaning one day upstair, pup (about 9 months old) downstairs. I get a strong whiff of poo. Downtools and go downstairs, check kitchen (back door open anyway for pup), no poo so go back upstairs. Can still smell poo. Check bedrooms and bathroom for phantom poo. No poo. Can hear pup playing happily in living room. Go back downstairs and check living room.

Found pup happily killing a used stoma bag 🤮🤮🤮. Shit everywhere. Up the cream walls, the cream curtains, the white nets, the cream lampshade, the fucking ceiling rose, the (luckily) leather sofa, the carpet, the rug, all over the bastarding pup, her paws, her fucking whippety nose where she had had it in the stoma bag.

4 hours or so it took to clean. 2 bottles of zoflora. A fuckton of carpet cleaner.

Shes still a snidey fucker now. Will eat shit if given the chance. But nothing she will ever do will beat StomaGate.

Twat that she is.

Started hacking up a hairball.... and vomited it up into DH's motorcycle helmet that was upturned on the floor!!!

I laughed.... (dh didn't!)

I was lying on the floor doing some exercises and my dog came and stood over me and went to curiously sniff my face as he often does. Only he had just drunk a huge amount of water. As he lowered his head right down he vomited all over my face!!!!

Ate dinner for 4 including an entire cheesecake. Discovered the sorry mess as guests arrived. It was a cat. Should have called him Garfield.

My mums cat ate the raw roast beef joint complete with netting and my mum had to pull the netting out of her bum whilst she miaowed in pain it was only after we realised could of been dangerous/wrapped around organs or something

One of the cats killed the hamster, One morning I noticed the cage was tipped up and said hamster had been pulled through the bars (narrow spaced too to avoid this type of thing) with his head jammed inside, poor thing had been skinned, Had to get pliers to remove the body!

Where do i start?

My old dog got trapped in the bathroom when we were out. Had raging diarreoah literally every surface covered, bath, walls, floor, dog. I basically stripped to bra and pants. Kept dog in room. Cleaned enough to get him in shower and clean him. Pass him out to dp -who was outside the door gagging. Cleaned bathroom properly. Showered myself!!

My mums dog was huge (60kg) woth long fur. Basically got a shit stuck in his fur. Clipped it off best i could.managed with dp's help to get him in the bath. It was all a bit rushed and i had no gloves. Dog proceeded to shit into my hands (i figured that was better than having to fish it out of the bath!)

My jrt has destroyed several tv remotes and a £500 pair of glasses that i had had for two weeks!! Fortunately he lost that habit fairly quick. One of my dogs pissed in my bed

Remind me why we get these animals?

Thank you all I'm no longer broody for a dog

I love my dog dearly but he’s a total bastard.
• Vomited in my bed whilst I was sleeping in it. Twice.
• Has eaten a mobile phone, two driving licences, my degree certificate, at least two sets of gig tickets and about £100 in cash. He likes post.
• Has killed a baby bird and a baby rabbit. The fucking murderer.
• Is just the right size to trip me up when he gets under my feet which happens regularly

He makes up for it by being super cute and keeping my feet warm at night.

Old pony (Houdini)
Escaped and got stuck with front legs one side of an ornamental fence, back legs the other side. Fence had to be dismantled underneath her
Escaped and stripped the bark off some newly planted, expensive trees
Escaped (see a pattern here) and broke into the kitchen, ate a cooked chicken and a plant. We had to get a new back door fitted
Escaped into the garden and pulled up a load of plants
Mugged walkers, walking through her field
Used to kick pieces at any horse that dared look at her sideways. She was 13hh, but would take on anything 🙈
Was very skilled at ditching me, loved to duck out at the last minute at jumps, taught me great stickability, regulary disgraced me at shows
I miss her so much, could go on and on, I think she needs her own thread