Should I have said thank you?

[Lilyabelle]

So, I’m probably being over-sensitive about this but I’d be keen to know what people think. I popped out for a walk with my four month old son in his pram as the weather is so beautiful. On our way home we have to go up a steep hill, which has quite a narrow pavement. There were two women walking in tandem down the hill towards me and as they passed one went behind the other so we could all fit (otherwise I would have been pushed into the road!). Literally as I walked past one of them said loudly, “You’re welcome” - I can’t decide if it was sarcastic... Is it just me or was that uncalled for and a bit pathetic? I wouldn’t expect a thank you if me and a friend had done the same for someone else!

My DH will tell me not to give it a second thought and I’m sure I’ll forget about it in a day or two, but manners are hugely important to me and I feel a bit rubbish now after having had a lovely day with my DS. Perhaps I’m just being incredibly hormonal but it felt a bit aggressive and I hate confrontation. Thoughts, please! Then I’ll get a life 😉

@NannyRed I didn’t say not to say thank you when someone moves out of your way. I have acknowledged that I should have said thank you and if my baby hadn’t been crying and I hadn’t been pushing a pram up a hill then I might have been clearer in the head and done so. I took offense at you saying I am ignorant and lacked basic manners. No one else has attacked me like you have but instead expressed their opinion on what happened.

Well I’ve learnt my lesson, I will try to remember never to say thank you to anyone if they move out of their way to accommodate me. Noted!

Another snarky response. Hardly anyone has said people shouldn't say thank you. They've said it's understandable if people occasionally don't say thank you. Snapping at them achieves nothing.

I would have said thank you too.

I was walking along a narrow path this morning and there was a young boy of about seven standing by a buggy (waiting for his mum and LO to catch up). He moved aside with the buggy on to the grass verge by the path. I gave him a big smile and a thank you.

I don't think you should have Had to say thank you as basically they were talking up two lanes of a two way path; in short, one of their party was walking in your lane so why should you say thanks for them getting off your side?!
That said I probably would said thank you as well anyway, out of habit if nothing else. They were totally in the wrong guilting you with the PA You're Welcome though; some people are just grumpy douches.

@Chottie What a lovely little boy. That’s a really sweet thing to do.

I’d have said “You’re welcome” after you too tbh.

Good grief there aren’t ‘lanes’ on a footpath.

They would have been exceptionally rude not to move over. However, it is a somewhat expected courtesy to say thank you to acknowledge their gesture in moving. Oils the wheels of civil society, knits a stronger social web and all that.

Their loud comment was totally out of order, however, and in itself really rude. I suspect they wouldn't have said it to you if you had more social status. The rude, snide, etc. comments that get sent towards tired mums was a bit of a revelation to me when I had children.

They moved out of your way so you didn’t have to take your pram into the road.
If you didn’t say thank you, don’t get precious because you got a sarcastic remark at your ignorance.

Have to say I kind of agree with this. You may not be ignorant OP, but I've always found people with small kids, buggies etc, much more likely to rude and entitled than other people. Having a child with you doesn't entitle you to be rude! (I mean 'one', not you.) I remember in a swimming pool, my DS (very young at the time, about 8) held the door for a woman with a buggy, who completely ignored him! I loudly said to my DS, 'That was a bit rude. We should always thank someone who doesn't something kind for us'. Do I care if that was PA? No actually. She was bloody rude!

You say you were all taken up with your child crying, but I'm not really seeing it. You saw them coming and they stepped out of your way to give you room. I'm not seeing how you wouldn't have said thanks? Was there any other reason?

So would I EssentialHummus

I don’t say thanks at a zebra crossing as it is a legal requirement for cars to stop.

🤭 Rude

I would absolutely have said thank you but then I'm the person that apologises to a plug for standing on it! It doesn't really matter that they were taking up the whole pavement, they saw you coming and moved to accommodate you. That deserves a thank you.

This is something I struggle with as an American in the U.K. I would have absolutely said thank you and would have expected a "you're welcome" in return. But people here are not nearly as polite as they are in the southern US (where I'm from). It's the same everywhere here. People run into you, people ignore when you do them favours, etc.

I'm surprised you have to ask.

I think it’s rude not to thank card who stop to let pedestrians start using a zebra crossing. It’s only a legal requirement to stop once someone is actually on the crossing.
Why don’t people do it? It’s no bother to smile or raise a hand and makes everyone feel better. People are so agressive.

I would have thanked someone moving for my pram too, it’s just nice. It was unnecessary for the women to comment though.

Grr *cars

@BunnyColvin I absolutely didn’t mean to be rude in this situation and have held my hands up in my subsequent posts that I should have said thank you. Perhaps I shouldn’t have posted about it on here as I feel like some people have interpreted it as this is something I make a habit of - which it isn’t. The fact I put such value on good manners is the reason why it has upset me so much. I hate the thought of anyone thinking I am a rude or entitled person.

I agree that the woman who didn’t say thank you to your son was extremely rude and unkind. I would certainly never expect doors to be opened for me and always say thank you without fail. In this case I didn’t and I regret it.

I feel like I’m being flamed a bit, which is entirely my fault. Thank you to everyone who has shared their opinion. I always strive to be a better, kinder person so this is a good lesson! As I said before, I’m quite a sensitive person so might quit while I’m ahead and go and have a cuddle with my LO. Thank you again 😊

I don’t say thanks at a zebra crossing as it is a legal requirement for cars to stop.

🤭 Rude

It really isn't.

I believe you when you say you don't do this.

In other cases where it's happened to me, I've felt that the person involved thinks they're somehow a more important presence because they have a child in a buggy, and people opening doors for them etc is what SHOULD be happening. That sort of vibe.

But I'm not saying that's you. I'm sure it was just a one-off.

You probably should have said thanks... but the whole 'you're welcome' thing is passive aggressive level 100.

So if 10 prod cross a zebra crossing are they meant to perform a sort of Mexican Wave of appreciation?

People. Not prods.

I would have said "you're welcome" too. It's just nice to thank people for moving so you can safely walk on.

@NannyRed you sound far more ill-mannered than the OP.