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Original poster

Should I have said thank you?

94 replies

Lilyabelle · 27/02/2019 16:44

So, I’m probably being over-sensitive about this but I’d be keen to know what people think. I popped out for a walk with my four month old son in his pram as the weather is so beautiful. On our way home we have to go up a steep hill, which has quite a narrow pavement. There were two women walking in tandem down the hill towards me and as they passed one went behind the other so we could all fit (otherwise I would have been pushed into the road!). Literally as I walked past one of them said loudly, “You’re welcome” - I can’t decide if it was sarcastic... Is it just me or was that uncalled for and a bit pathetic? I wouldn’t expect a thank you if me and a friend had done the same for someone else!

My DH will tell me not to give it a second thought and I’m sure I’ll forget about it in a day or two, but manners are hugely important to me and I feel a bit rubbish now after having had a lovely day with my DS. Perhaps I’m just being incredibly hormonal but it felt a bit aggressive and I hate confrontation. Thoughts, please! Then I’ll get a life 😉

OP posts:
PivotPivotPivottt · 27/02/2019 17:18

You probably should have said thank you but she shouldn't have been so rude. Technically since they were taking up the pavement so she should have moved to let you pass anyway. I always say thank you or smile when people do this for me but I wouldn't even notice if I moved for someone and they didn't thank me.

TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 27/02/2019 17:19

I would have said thank you, but if somebody didn't say thank you to me I wouldn't be an arse about it

Purplecatshopaholic · 27/02/2019 17:19

Personally I would have smiled and said thank you, but its a bit of a first world problem better forgotten about! Glad you had a lovely day with your DS.

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MakeItAmazing · 27/02/2019 17:19

I always put my hand up to acknowledge a driver has stopped at a crossing so that I can cross the road. Not everyone stops, legal requirement or not, so I like to show my appreciation. I'm a big one for manners too. My kids can be rude to me at times but I don't have to worry about their manners outside of the home.

SpacePenguin · 27/02/2019 17:20

No, I wouldn't have said thank you. You are just as entitled to use the footpath as they are. Unless it was some sort of rare one-way footpath system, it was their responsibility as a pair walking 2 abreast to make way for someone coming the other way. Sure, you may acknowledge it with a nod or smile, but no need to say thank you.

If they moved onto the road, or stopped to let you by then I would say thank you.

DarlingNikita · 27/02/2019 17:20

Never mind, OP. I'd say thank you in that scenario but it's not a biggie; she overreacted a bit.

I recently had a driver shout a sarcastic "you're welcome" at me after I'd crossed a pedestrian crossing in front of him. Do people really say thanks in this situation?
No. I will do when drivers start thanking me for not crossing at a red traffic light.

Ohyesiam · 27/02/2019 17:21

The You’re Wellcome was passive aggressive and silly.
I think a Thankyou was in order, not as someone said because they own the pavement and were lending it to you, but because they saw you and took your needs into account and acted on it.
Seems worth a Thankyou to me( buy maybe I’m a bit repressed Blush)

Ronsters · 27/02/2019 17:22

Not sure I would have said thank you, if you are walking 2 abreast on a narrow path and someone is on coming surely the common sense thing is to walk single file. Where can the other person go, after all?
I wouldn't expect to the thanked if I was the person going behind the other either.

NannyRed · 27/02/2019 17:22

They moved out of your way so you didn’t have to take your pram into the road.
If you didn’t say thank you, don’t get precious because you got a sarcastic remark at your ignorance.

I always say “you’re welcome “ in a sarcastic tone if I hold a door open or step aside etc. and get no acknowledgement of my inconvenience. Would you prefer people didn’t try to accommodate you or have you always lacked basic manners?

MrsTommyBanks · 27/02/2019 17:22

I would have said thank you.

notangelinajolie · 27/02/2019 17:23

Yes I would have said thankyou. But it's done now and there is nothing you can do so just try to put it to the back of your mind and don't dwell on it. The 2 women have probably not given it a second thought. Have some flowers Flowers

Pythonesque · 27/02/2019 17:23

Before I even got to your 2nd post I was thinking, pushing a pram up a steep hill, you were probably just focussing on your baby and on keeping going, probably a little out of breath - so no it's not surprising you didn't respond to them in the instant of passing.

Chloemol · 27/02/2019 17:26

They moved out of the way for you. You should have said thank you

BadBear · 27/02/2019 17:27

Nope, I am a firm believer that you don't say thank you when someone has to move behind their walking companion so everyone can fit on the pavement. Saying thank you if someone lets you go first when there isn't enough space, yes! Thanking someone who gets off the pavement so you can remain on it, yes! That's courtesy. Someone not expecting to take up the whole pavement, no. That's common sense.

I have clearly spent too much time thinking about this Hmm

Slowknitter · 27/02/2019 17:27

Yes ok you should have said thank you, but anyone who says 'You're welcome!' like that is a rude, passive-aggressive twat. Getting stroppy when someone is actively rude to you is fair enough, but unnecessarily overreacting to a minor omission of politeness is pathetic. If someone is preoccupied, in a hurry, or having a bad day, the occasional failure to say thank you is really not worthy of a snarky response. It says more about her than you, OP.

Bluetrews25 · 27/02/2019 17:31

I'm torn. See the patriarchal chicken thread re people not getting out of the way when walking.
If the pavement were a road that was only wide enough for one car in each direction, and you were all in cars, and two cars were driving side by side towards you, would you expect one to go behind the other so that you could continue to drive in your lane on your side of the road? Absolutely you would. But would you thank them for doing it? No, as they were in 'your' space to begin with.
BUT I probably would have said thanks or smiled my thanks. Like I'd say sorry if someone stood on me....Blush

Bloomini · 27/02/2019 17:31

I think you should have said thank you too, they don't own the pavement no but it's just common courtesy, takes a second to say it and acknowledge that they made room for you (which is of course what they should have done.)

It's not compulsory for you to thank them but small actions and being polite to each other make the world a much better and enjoyable place to live in.

Plus you can get some very entitled Pram pushers who think they should take precedence which perhaps gives others a bad name so that may be why they said what they did.

Shelbybear · 27/02/2019 17:32

I've had this happen to me, it's def sarcastic and it really upset me as I always say thanks, please etc. Hate rudeness so I know how much it will annoy you that someone else thinks you were rude.

If someone waits for me to pass a narrow gap or holds a door etc I always say thanks but don't think I would for someone just going single file past me and not having to actually wait. I'd say that was really uncalled for.

Slowknitter · 27/02/2019 17:32

I always say “you’re welcome “ in a sarcastic tone if I hold a door open or step aside etc. and get no acknowledgement of my inconvenience. Would you prefer people didn’t try to accommodate you or have you always lacked basic manners?

If I hold a door open or step aside, I regard that as basic manners, rather than an inconvenience to me which requires gratitude. A 'thank you' is nice, but the lack of one is not going to make me snarl a sarcastic response, because I am a polite person with manners, and my manners aren't dependent on other people's.

Original poster
Lilyabelle · 27/02/2019 17:37

@NannyRed I think you’re being really quite nasty in your response. I do have basic good manners thanks and expect my children to have them too. If anything I often say ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ too often. And things like holding doors open - I would absolutely say thank you to something like this. They didn’t have to stop or struggle out of my way and my not thanking them was an innocent oversight, which I have acknowledged. My goodness, you sound like an angry person.

I’m appreciative of everyone else’s opinions!

OP posts:
Happynow001 · 27/02/2019 17:39

Mmmm! Biscuits!! 😁

Original poster
Lilyabelle · 27/02/2019 17:47

@Happynow001 I know! I probably ate far too many when I got home as I was upset!

OP posts:
NannyRed · 27/02/2019 17:48

So for giving my opinion I’m “really quite nasty” and that’s from someone who thinks she has ‘basic’ manners.

Well I’ve learnt my lesson, I will try to remember never to say thank you to anyone if they move out of their way to accommodate me. Noted!

Dahlietta · 27/02/2019 17:50

I would have said thank you, but I'm a bit of an over-thanker I suspect. I wouldn't have given you a passive aggressive 'you're welcome' though - I save those for people who walk through doors when I hold them open and don't acknowledge me at all.

DerbyRacer · 27/02/2019 17:51

If I am walking in tandem with someone and we are blocking someone one of us moves. It is something we do and we don't expect a thank you. I think the person shouting you're welcome was wrong to do so. You did nothing wrong.

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